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  1. #1
    RETIRED CzeCze's Avatar
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    Default Your worst relationship ever

    What was your worst relationship, how did it end, and how do you feel about it and them now? Did you gain better understanding or clarity after the breakup or do you still feel and think the same about how and why things ended? In retrospect, what was the death knell or clear sign that the relationship was doomed?

    Yes, I put this in the bonfire because not looking for a particular deep level of introspection Im morbidly curious and wonder if we can learn from others mistakes.
    “If you want to tell people the truth, make them laugh, otherwise they'll kill you.” ― Oscar Wilde

    "I'm outtie 5000" ― Romulux

    Johari/Nohari

  2. #2
    Once Was Synarch's Avatar
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    Delicious trainwreck!
    "Create like a god, command like a king, work like a slave."

  3. #3
    pathwise dependent FDG's Avatar
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    I think it was a 7-months long relationship with a borderline ISFJ girl. I don't want to dump the blame on her, but her undiagnosed mental illness was the most burdening aspect of it. Eventually, one year after the breakup, she was hospitalized for a while and now she's under meds, from what I have gathered. I didn't gain any better clarity after the breakup - I think that past the 4th month, when the ups and downs became a clear pattern, I became quite sure that she had some form of emotional issue, reinforced by how she depicted her past relationships. I'm glad she's better now, but I wouldn't ever talk with her, way too dangerous. She kept phoning me, at home, around 20 times a day, after the breakup. For 2 months. That was nerve-wracking.
    ENTj 7-3-8 sx/sp

  4. #4
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    A failed one.

  5. #5
    Senior Member Willfrey's Avatar
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    Well, I don't know if the relationship itself was bad but the end was terrible and prompted me to move.

    We were at a bar having a few drinks, she had a few more than I (nothing unusual), and walked over to the table my roomate was at and started talking to him. Then they disappeared, for like... Thirty-forty minutes so I up and left. I walked home and the both show up at the house as though nothing transpired. After an awkward goodbye she leaves and I go to bed. The following day the bartender who is also a friend of mine explains how she walked in on them screwing in the women's bathroom. I move out two days later & never speak to her again.
    ...Then I ducked my head and the lights went out, and two guns blazed in the dark;
    And a woman screamed, and the lights went up, and two men lay stiff and stark...

  6. #6
    Senior Member Kyrielle's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by CzeCze View Post
    What was your worst relationship, how did it end, and how do you feel about it and them now? Did you gain better understanding or clarity after the breakup or do you still feel and think the same about how and why things ended? In retrospect, what was the death knell or clear sign that the relationship was doomed?

    Yes, I put this in the bonfire because not looking for a particular deep level of introspection Im morbidly curious and wonder if we can learn from others mistakes.
    Lasted for 8 months. Ended with him basically saying he didn't love me because he didn't love himself. I was crushed, so I said the final words, though I think it had been over with for a while.

    I'm embarrassed about it, really. As I am with any relationship that has failed for whatever reason. Because I see it mostly as a failure of some kind on my part. I suppose I feel badly for the guy now. I don't know. I was not a mentally/emotionally healthy individual then.

    It was doomed to begin with. I was very emotionally needy as was he. It created this codependent spiral. I can see that NOW, but I didn't see it THEN because I was lonely and being with someone felt better than being by myself. I suppose I didn't love myself either...hmm...

    As for learning from others' mistakes. Not a clue. Maybe, maybe not. It depends on a few factors... Like how many times someone has told you "don't ever do this" out of bitterness and resentment rather than wisdom and consideration.
    "I took the one less traveled by,
    And that has made all the difference."

    Robert Frost

  7. #7
    Mamma said knock you out Mempy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Willfrey View Post
    Well, I don't know if the relationship itself was bad but the end was terrible and prompted me to move.

    We were at a bar having a few drinks, she had a few more than I (nothing unusual), and walked over to the table my roomate was at and started talking to him. Then they disappeared, for like... Thirty-forty minutes so I up and left. I walked home and the both show up at the house as though nothing transpired. After an awkward goodbye she leaves and I go to bed. The following day the bartender who is also a friend of mine explains how she walked in on them screwing in the women's bathroom. I move out two days later & never speak to her again.


    Quote Originally Posted by Kyrielle View Post
    Lasted for 8 months. Ended with him basically saying he didn't love me because he didn't love himself. I was crushed, so I said the final words, though I think it had been over with for a while.

    I'm embarrassed about it, really. As I am with any relationship that has failed for whatever reason. Because I see it mostly as a failure of some kind on my part. I suppose I feel badly for the guy now. I don't know. I was not a mentally/emotionally healthy individual then.

    It was doomed to begin with. I was very emotionally needy as was he. It created this codependent spiral. I can see that NOW, but I didn't see it THEN because I was lonely and being with someone felt better than being by myself. I suppose I didn't love myself either...hmm...

    As for learning from others' mistakes. Not a clue. Maybe, maybe not. It depends on a few factors... Like how many times someone has told you "don't ever do this" out of bitterness and resentment rather than wisdom and consideration.
    Yeah, good post. I know exactly what you mean by the bolded, too. And good thread idea, Cze!
    They're running just like you
    For you, and I, wooo
    So people, people, need some good ol' love

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