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  1. #21
    darkened dreams labyrinthine's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ajblaise View Post
    I think I'm misunderstood generally, but I don't really mind. If I made more of an effort to become understood, people would realize I'm even more different from them than they thought. Sometimes an increase in understanding can cause an increase in alienation.
    I think that is in part why I remain reserved about revealing myself. There are some instances where it is a deliberate choice and other instances in which it is simply a natural inclination. It helps to get a read on other people first before giving them a read on me. I do end up misunderstood and that is rather obvious. I am a private person, so I specifically don't want everyone to understand me and so I don't reveal all the information needed unless there is a reason it is a good thing to be understood by the person. I have found some of the natural stereotypes are useful for me even though they are inaccurate. Sweet, compliant, and boring often translate into being left alone by people whom I'd rather not deal with. That particular stereotype might have helped me get one of my current jobs, so in that case minimal information about me has translated into $. There are other instances in which the false conclusions has caused pain and disappointment. Being especially introspective and knowing great detail about the core of oneself increases the chasm between knowing self and being known by others.

    I think that in some way everyone is misunderstood. This is because we each have a unique set of experiences and ways of perceiving these which we alone possess. When this is combined with the human drive for certainty which implies a desire to know how to predict and/or control the behaviors of others, the natural result of this process is faulty assumptions imposed onto others (often in the form of stereotypes and other simplifications of reality).
    Step into my metaphysical room of mirrors.
    Fear of reality creates myopic morality
    So I guess it means there is trouble until the robins come
    (from Blue Velvet)

    I want to be just like my mother, even if she is bat-shit crazy.

  2. #22
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    I might be misunderstood. It doesn't concern me greatly.

  3. #23
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    Hmph... I see many people talking about how they are misunderstood about theoretical issues. For me, this isn't really a problem. I don't take my ideas that seriously. Except my way of life.

    The misunderstandings that bother me are often related to me wanting to be spontaneous and then people "reading" that as something it isn't. This kind of misunderstanding is hard to correct, since I can only see them being more defensive from that moment and I usually can't say the reason with 100% accuracy.

    I've noticed, for example, that many people think any sort of closeness is in one way or another sexual. I seem to draw the line differently than most people. This can scare both male and female friends, for slightly different reasons.

  4. #24
    Senior Member Moiety's Avatar
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    I generally make sure I'm understood unless I'm deliberately trying to be vague. But when I am misunderstood it's because in this world you cant be both down-to-earth and head-in-the-clouds. People can't wrap their heads around the concept sometimes

  5. #25
    Senior Member norepinephrine's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sytpg View Post
    I generally make sure I'm understood unless I'm deliberately trying to be vague. But when I am misunderstood it's because in this world you cant be both down-to-earth and head-in-the-clouds. People can't wrap their heads around the concept sometimes
    To this I can relate. I often get the feeling that people have latched onto the capable, "got your back" me and view the "What? Sorry, I was preoccupied" me as a failure to live up to potential. There is a lack of understanding that both the competent and the flaky make the whole.

  6. #26
    ThatGirl
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    The reason I think I am misunderstood is because l.khse;p kekjf juekhjf poej f;lkg rd lkj glkj ty oujtljyu; ppoit ri sdkjglktju! You know what I mean?

  7. #27
    Senior Member Valhallahereicome's Avatar
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    Hmm... I don't think I really am misunderstood that often as far as my ideas go. It used to be hard for me to articulate what I meant. Well, just today I found myself telling my dad to "turn right and drive until you reach civilization again" when I really meant that he needed to turn right and drive past a long stretch of park, and stuff like that tends to confuse people. But I've gotten into the habit of dividing what I want to say up into points, which makes things easier. Even in casual conversation, I'll respond to someone's comment with three separate points and that seems to make things clearer. If I catch myself being vague, I will force myself to focus on the essentials until I can articulate what my real point is.

    As far as my personality goes? People often assume that I'm going to be quiet, sweet, innocent, and malleable based on my appearance. From talking to other Asian or part Asian friends, a lot of this is just the way people stereotype us. When they get to know us, it's a big shock to their worldview.

    For people who actually know me - almost no one ever gets to see me when I'm experiencing any kind of deep emotion, especially ones like sadness or deep love that make me vulnerable. If I happen to be around other people, I sublimate whatever I'm feeling and joke my way through it, so that people are cracking up while I'm telling my story of woe. As a result, a lot of my friends think of me as a really tough person. Two people have told me that they want to see me fall in love someday, because it would be interesting to see me experience something that I can't possibly control. So I guess not many people understand my core of feeling and passion, but that's pretty much ok with me because I don't want them to.

  8. #28
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    Quote Originally Posted by ThatGirl View Post
    The reason I think I am misunderstood is because l.khse;p kekjf juekhjf poej f;lkg rd lkj glkj ty oujtljyu; ppoit ri sdkjglktju! You know what I mean?

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