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View Poll Results: Did you go to graduation?

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  • To hell with graduation

    25 36.23%
  • My Mom made me go

    11 15.94%
  • I went for the lolz

    7 10.14%
  • I genuinely wanted to go

    26 37.68%
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Results 51 to 60 of 82

  1. #51
    Intriguing.... Quinlan's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by kyuuei View Post
    People think that their particular situations make the entire ceremony a waste and insult it as if it were. I don't think that people should be so sour towards it just because they thought they were better off without it. That's an individual basis.
    Do you consider someone not attending graduation as a snub to the ceremony itself. Saying "it's not for me" is not an insult.

  2. #52
    heart on fire
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    Quote Originally Posted by Quinlan View Post
    Do you consider someone not attending graduation as a snub to the ceremony itself. Saying "it's not for me" is not an insult.
    It's a group conformity thing. Non-conformers threaten the group. The school called and harassed my mother, using guilt provoking language on her. Apparently there was a pride issue with them about having 100 percent complinace with graduation.

    I went to this counselor and asked please stop calling my mother (she wasn't well and the guilt thing was getting to her, they insinuated she was bad parent etc and she was getting all hyper emotional about it.) The counselor looks at me and says "If you're determined not to go, I hope we don't decide to not give you your diploma or something." Wink and laugh.

    I needed my diploma right away in order to qualify for summer school at junior college. Two days after graduation, high school people are still telling me they "lost" my diploma and insinuating that maybe I failed a class or something and the diploma was revoked (and we both know they are just messing with me because they can.) Finally counselor calls me and says meet them in the parking lot, takes my diploma out of the trunk and hands it to me laughing "You're lucky it didn't get thrown away by accident."

    Don't mess with the conformity people I guess, they will beleager you with petty games.

  3. #53
    Emperor/Dictator kyuuei's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Quinlan View Post
    Do you consider someone not attending graduation as a snub to the ceremony itself. Saying "it's not for me" is not an insult.
    But saying "it's not for me" was not the language used in the thread. There were several very strong statements about the terrible terrible ceremonies of high school graduation. I didn't have a great high school life by any means of the word. My stance was to defend the ceremony a bit, because it's not just a matter of if you like ceremonies or not. It's important in other ways as well. My statement was a bit strong because the statements I was responding to were strong in the first place. Not at all judgemental though. I was merely suggesting not to be so judgmental of it all in the first place.

    If you were better off without it, more power to you, but no one seems to say "Yeah, it wasn't for me." They tend to say "Screw that mess!! I hate it!"

    What happened to heart was unfortunate, but I hope rare. I've never heard of anything like that before.
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  4. #54
    Intriguing.... Quinlan's Avatar
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    Heart I'm stunned, I can not understand their attitude at all, it really is disturbing. That must've been hell.

  5. #55
    heart on fire
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    Quote Originally Posted by kyuuei View Post
    What happened to heart was unfortunate, but I hope rare. I've never heard of anything like that before.
    I suspect it isn't. More people than one suspects come from dysfunctional homes Many just don't speak openly about it. Communities don't tend to look favorably upon them either. When one pulls away through one's own efforts there's a tendancy to not want to look back and admit.

    They tend to say "Screw that mess!! I hate it!"
    There are sometimes reasons why people begin to hate ritual and ritualistic dogma though.

  6. #56
    pathwise dependent FDG's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by kyuuei View Post
    I don't, however, understand this brutal selfish attitude of "It's MY graduation, why should I attend a ceremony for anyone else if I don't wanna go?!" My friend was the first of his family to ever graduate from High school.. it was a big deal for all of them to see him walk down the aisle. It's a proud thing to see your child do that. It's not like something you did was SO important that day that you couldn't take 3 hours of your time to attend a ceremony.
    Hey, when my parents decided to have a child, they should have taken into account that he might not have given a shit about this kind of stuff. I won't limit my freedom just because they are proud of something I am not proud of.
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  7. #57
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    My story is similar to many folks - I had a rough adolescence to early adulthood. Middle school was eek, I despised my highschool and my classmates as a group. In college I became very depressed (took a year off, became a recluse and barely passed my senior year, slept through classes, gained at least 20 pounds and was so delusional when none of my clothes fit anymore convinced myself the lousy school dryers had shrunk them!)

    Buuuuut - dammit, I WANTED to go to my graduation! All THREE times - middle school, high school, and college. Even when my own parents were unenthusiastic or a no show. Honestly, I think people should be happy that their parents wanted to see them walk - my parents are unsentimental people.

    But, me, myself, and I - I wanted to go honestly and truly! I earned that damn walk with the corny speeches and all the faces I didn't recognize or just felt antipathy for.

    I am all about ceremony and symbolic meaning and ritual - love it! I understand and appreciate the significance of it. I like feeling a part of things, I like feeling honored and recognized, I like sweeping in and out of eras of my life with a show.

    I also went to prom my junior and senior years (sans real date, went with friends) I enjoyed prom as well!

    PS. I just read up on Heart's story - that's a stunner of a story to me. I can kinda understand if you went to a very small tight-knit school where everyone knew everyone and their parents and children - but still, wow. They are trying to intimidate your family into going. I'm all about going if you want to go. I just personally, tend to want to go to these things. Hell, I'm a big fan of social events at work the company pays for a bowling night or picnic or what have you. And I don't even really socialize with co-workers.
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  8. #58
    Senior Member ed111's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by heart View Post
    It's a group conformity thing. Non-conformers threaten the group. The school called and harassed my mother, using guilt provoking language on her. Apparently there was a pride issue with them about having 100 percent complinace with graduation.

    I went to this counselor and asked please stop calling my mother (she wasn't well and the guilt thing was getting to her, they insinuated she was bad parent etc and she was getting all hyper emotional about it.) The counselor looks at me and says "If you're determined not to go, I hope we don't decide to not give you your diploma or something." Wink and laugh.

    I needed my diploma right away in order to qualify for summer school at junior college. Two days after graduation, high school people are still telling me they "lost" my diploma and insinuating that maybe I failed a class or something and the diploma was revoked (and we both know they are just messing with me because they can.) Finally counselor calls me and says meet them in the parking lot, takes my diploma out of the trunk and hands it to me laughing "You're lucky it didn't get thrown away by accident."

    Don't mess with the conformity people I guess, they will beleager you with petty games.
    I do not condone the actions of your teachers. In fact, it's fair to say that I hate people like that. They should respect other people's wishes even if they do not coincide with their own. After all, in the grand scheme of things, what difference does it make?

    Personally, I'm looking forward to my next university graduation. It'll be the third and the best so far: I'm hoping to get a special award this time haha.

    Seriously though, I know it make my mom proud (ISTJ) and it goes some way towards making up for the hell I put her through when I was young. I just wish my father were around to see my continuing successes

    I'm hoping to get one of those soft caps one day instead of a mortar board at graduation for a PhD

    NB. It should be noted that I find the process of learning to be most enjoyable. It is unfortunate that for most jobs, it is qualifications that count, so acquiring them is a necessity.

  9. #59
    reborn PeaceBaby's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by heart View Post
    ...so take your self-righteous judgment and apply it somewhere else where it'll do more good.
    Quote Originally Posted by heart View Post
    You made a pretty strong statement about people who didn't go to graduation. You got a response in kind.
    I can only imagine the pain you had to deal with growing up so fast heart. I send you these:

    I want to gently point out though that although kyuuei's post was blunt, yours felt harsh.

    Quote Originally Posted by heart View Post
    It's a group conformity thing. Non-conformers threaten the group. The school called and harassed my mother, using guilt provoking language on her.
    These are the people who are supposed to nurture and help you, yet have seemingly no compassion, empathy or insight at all. I commend you for your strength of will to not be pressured into attending. Again, I send you these: It would have been nice if they had tried to simply facilitate your attendance.

    Quote Originally Posted by heart View Post
    There are sometimes reasons why people begin to hate ritual and ritualistic dogma though.
    I agree. Doing something just because you are supposed to is certainly not anything I advocate. But I admit there can be value in meaningful ritual.

    Quote Originally Posted by CzeCze View Post
    Buuuuut - dammit, I WANTED to go to my graduation! All THREE times - middle school, high school, and college. Even when my own parents were unenthusiastic or a no show. Honestly, I think people should be happy that their parents wanted to see them walk - my parents are unsentimental people.

    But, me, myself, and I - I wanted to go honestly and truly! I earned that damn walk with the corny speeches and all the faces I didn't recognize or just felt antipathy for.
    I relate to this ... this is how I feel too. I paid for it myself, and I did this and ... I'M GOING!

  10. #60
    reborn PeaceBaby's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Quinlan View Post
    Is it not possible to do all of those things in your own way? Rather than a cookie cutter ceremony?

    I celebrate my achievement through quiet contemplation and reflection.

    I don't feel a need to "mark" stages of my life, my life is continous and fluid, I'm not sure of the purpose of marking it.

    I am proud of myself whenever I think of my achievement, I don't need someone else to tell me/show me/be involved at all, for me to feel that way.
    Certainly - I guess it's hard to know whether graduation would be meaningful to you if you never attended though.

    I see your prespective though, and admire your quiet confidence expressing it.

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