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Thread: Do you do this?

  1. #41
    Senior Member ThatsWhatHeSaid's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sytpg View Post
    Well I can relate a bit then. It's empathy, pure and simple. I feel like understand the motivations behind a post and I can put myself in their shoes. I dislike conflict which I know won't lead to anywhere, though, so I refrain from addressing some posts every now and then, myself.

    Actually feeling bad...a sad story will make me feel sad to a certain extent, yes. If your dog was run over I'm not going to cry over it, though, but I understand your pain.
    An interesting experiment to tease some of this apart would be to see if the empaths can detect how a person might be feeling without any contact with them. Like, say, if they were behind a curtain and silent.

    The other question remains, though, about whether you are feeling YOUR feelings in response, or feeling THEIR feelings. I really want to know.

    I understand the pleasure derived from harmless façades so you don't need to tell me your type, but do you actually know your four letter code or what?
    No problem. INTP.

    LOL. The entire site seems to think I'm an extrovert, but I swear, I'm actually introverted and need a lot of time alone to charge up. I hate parties and don't trust other people, in general. I spend a lot of time quietly mapping things and I love accuracy in language. Hate not having the exact right word.

    The ENTPenis comes in, I guess, in the way I generate ideas and strong Ne. Also, my debate skills aren't incredibly strong always, and I lose stamina in conflict (e.g., I can't for the life of me debate with BlueWing because I just want to GTFO). Sense of humor, maybe, too. I also can't stand bluemonday, and she thinks she's INTP.

  2. #42
    Senior Member Moiety's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ThatsWhatHeSaid View Post
    An interesting experiment to tease some of this apart would be to see if the empaths can detect how a person might be feeling without any contact with them. Like, say, if they were behind a curtain and silent.
    I personally don't believe in such a thing. Visual cues or some sort of data is needed. Trying to explain how and why you empathize with someone is like trying to explain N to an S. The reason why it's not easy to give concrete examples for other people to improve their Ne (for example) is because these functions are as much conscious as they are subconscious. Doesn't mean it's magic, of course, just that the brain works at speeds you can't consciously analyze.

    Quote Originally Posted by ThatsWhatHeSaid View Post
    The other question remains, though, about whether you are feeling YOUR feelings in response, or feeling THEIR feelings. I really want to know.
    Whatever we feel when we empathize, it's always our response imo, since it's always skewed by perception. If you are the best actor in the world and you make me feel sorry for you in some way, I'll still feel sad despite the fact what you just told me was a complete lie.

    It's true that I have a good BS detector (ENFPs tend to), but that doesn't mean it's perfect or mystical in any way.


    Quote Originally Posted by ThatsWhatHeSaid View Post
    No problem. INTP.
    I see. You can still be NT and be proficient with F, anyway.

  3. #43
    Senior Member Amira's Avatar
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    Question for all people.

    When you read someone's post or hear someone talk, do you feel the feelings they feel? Do you have emotional, physical reactions to other posters? There are some people whose posts I can't read because I get empty and tense in my back. I'm talking like -- it's OBVIOUS. Don't just think and try and give me a crazy guess. If it's not strong, just don't say anything.
    No, not really. At least, I don't think so. I do, however, read posts and mentally categorize people in certain ways. Hard to explain, but I usually know quite well IRL also if someone is a potential friend/good conversation partner or if they are not on the same wavelength as I am. I also usually can tell approximately how honest someone is, if they are a drama queen, if they are liable to work hard or not, etc., just by observing their interactions with others. Online my "criteria" or whatever you want to call it are different. I'm not really hard on people despite what it might sound like, it's just that I can't help noticing things. I like all kinds of people but I guess I have high standards as to who I respect and want to be closest to.

    Follow up question: Are you uncomfortable with errors? Do you fix people's lives?
    Honestly, I would love to "fix" people's lives. However, there is the whole matter of personal choice, even if they are doing something totally stupid to themself. I will try to interject tactful (I think tactful, who knows if I really am!) suggestions sometimes along the lines of, "I heard that doing x works really well, you might want to try that." I used to be more bossy but have been really working on it in recent years.


    Random questions: Are you obsessed with yourself? With your own mind? I think MBTI does that to you. It sends you off into a thinking spiral.
    I hope I learned my lesson about that years ago. It could but I don't want to let it.


    I always wonder how you feelers can pick up so many subtle things. I also always wonder what vibes I give off. Probably anxiety a lot of the time, trying to be perfect... (Me, perfectionist? Hee hee.) Have I mentioned I like my ENFP sis 'cause she helps me R E L A X?

  4. #44
    reborn PeaceBaby's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ThatsWhatHeSaid View Post
    Good replies from everyone. Very interesting.

    @blue: shut up.

    @PeaceBaby and Toonia: I identified a lot with your posts, but not 100%. I can't stop fixing people, though.

    @Sytpg: When I read a post by some people, I feel like I take on all the feelings and motivations that they have. I feel like I immediately understand where they're posting from and what their intent is. It helps me understand people, but I also don't like feeling certain things. Usually, anxiety, but also confrontational feelings. So I end up ignoring those people or situations.

    A few weeks ago, I started feeling physical stress in my body around people, as well as feelings. I brought it up to a friend and she verified it was what she was feeling, but I can't be sure. I also want to know how this is happening...am I 1) making this up? 2) reading body language, which I'm really good at or 3) feeling their feelings through some spooky psychic thing?

    Also I'm pretty sensitive to things. Loud sounds scare the effin' crap out of me. I think it relates.
    The intention of your post intrigues me.

    I don't believe you are making it up. Personally, I have found I can become emotionally over-stimulated, where other people or difficult environments (esp ones full of conflict or pain) have too much "effect" on me. I notice every nuance, every feeling, and it can seem like "too much".

    When I was in my 20's, I had a collection of "needy" friends. (I don't say this in any derogatory sense whatsoever btw; I chose these situations and my response.) These were people who needed emotional support, or seemed enveloped in pain, or stuck in a hard place in their lives. I wanted to help them and "fix" what I perceived as the broken parts so badly. I also knew that they were generally neglected by others in some way, and I wanted to help them revalue themselves.

    It took many years for me to realize that although you can be a catalyst for change in someone else's life, you can't "fix" them or change them yourself. You can even inspire and motivate people. But you cannot "fix" them. Change only comes from within.

    I still do attract people who need me for my ear - my ability to listen and empathize. But I see more clearly now what they are looking for, and try not to let myself become over-extended.

    I would advise you be cautious - that this additional sensing you are experiencing may be a signal to take better care of yourself and stay in balance.

  5. #45
    Nerd King Usurper Edgar's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ThatsWhatHeSaid View Post
    Question for all people.

    When you read someone's post or hear someone talk, do you feel the feelings they feel? Do you have emotional, physical reactions to other posters?
    I feel nothing.

    My heart is as numb as a syphilis sore.
    Listen to me, baby, you got to understand, you're old enough to learn the makings of a man.

  6. #46
    Senior Member ThatsWhatHeSaid's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by PeaceBaby View Post
    The intention of your post intrigues me.

    I don't believe you are making it up. Personally, I have found I can become over-stimulated if you will, where other people or difficult environments (ones full of conflict or pain) have too much "effect" on me.

    When I was in my 20's, I had a collection of "needy" friends. (I don't say this in any derogatory sense whatsoever btw; I chose these situations and my response.) These were people who needed emotional support, or seemed enveloped in pain, or stuck in a hard place in their lives. I wanted to help them and "fix" what I perceived as the broken parts so badly. I also knew that they were generally neglected by others in some way, and I wanted to help them revalue themselves.

    It took many years for me to realize that although you can be a catalyst for change in someone else's life, you can't "fix" them or change them yourself. You can even inspire and motivate peopple. But you cannot "fix" them. Change only comes from within.

    I still do attract people who need me for my ear - my ability to listen and empathize. But I see more clearly now what they are looking for, and try not to let myself become over-extended.
    I have a collection of similar needy people, although most of my close friends (2-3 people max at any given point) are people who are self-sufficient. The savior role gets tiring, even though it can be satisfying.

    The thing about not fixing people is super-interesting. I was just talking about that with my roommate. Interesting stuff.

    I would advise you be cautious - that this sensing you are experiencing may be a signal to take better care of yourself and stay in balance.
    I kinda like the super-psychic powers, tho.

    Quote Originally Posted by Edgar View Post
    I feel nothing.

    My heart is as numb as a syphilis sore. I'm an INTJ.
    FYP, my Russian mobster friend

  7. #47
    reborn PeaceBaby's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ThatsWhatHeSaid View Post
    The savior role gets tiring, even though it can be satisfying.
    This is especially where you need to maintain balance.

    Be careful of the lure of being the saviour. And it is very alluring, very validating even. It makes you feel good about yourself. But if you over-extend, and you collect "clingers", you need to think really carefully about whether you are helping them, or if their neediness is just feeding your own sense of self-worth. If they never change, and you never move on, you are both just stuck in a cycle with no growth.

    Edahn, what enneagram type are you?

  8. #48
    Senior Member ThatsWhatHeSaid's Avatar
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    I'm not sure, and I don't take tests with more than 25 questions until it counts towards a degree. :P

  9. #49
    veteran attention whore Jeffster's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by MacGuffin View Post
    I do sympathy (Fe) more than empathy (Fi).
    I don't think sympathy = Fe or empathy = Fi. It's not that simple.
    Jeffster Illustrates the Artisan Temperament <---- click here

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  10. #50
    Intriguing.... Quinlan's Avatar
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    Not on this site but on others, there are posters/blogs that feel like emotional black-holes and I avoid them like crazy.

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