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  1. #21
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    Quote Originally Posted by targo View Post
    *giggles*

    I finally got around to reading that

    so easy

    come on you can do it!
    If it was easy I wouldn't be asking. I suspect everyone else also has a problem with this. Am just going to have to lie, and take a situation where I've seen someone get angry.

  2. #22
    @.~*virinaĉo*~.@ Totenkindly's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sona View Post
    If it was easy I wouldn't be asking. I suspect everyone else also has a problem with this. Am just going to have to lie, and take a situation where I've seen someone get angry.
    Well, Sona, there have been lots of times on the forum here where you have seemed very angry to me. (Such as your discussion with Lateralus. You might not classify it as anger, but truly it was...)

    I'm not sure why you're avoiding just picking a real example from your life and exploring it. I'm not trying to poke you here, but you seem unwilling to embrace the moments in your life where you've been angry... and that's why you have trouble managing the anger. If you don't recognize it and deal with it, it will build and eventually burst, causing lots of damage to yourself and others.

    There's nothing to be ashamed of, if that's a factor here at all. It's just part of being human. religious factors try to institute guilt over anger, but I think a mature outlook includes comprehending and exploring anger and learning how to deal with it. We're allowed to feel anger; it's not a sin.
    "Hey Capa -- We're only stardust." ~ "Sunshine"

    “Pleasure to me is wonder—the unexplored, the unexpected, the thing that is hidden and the changeless thing that lurks behind superficial mutability. To trace the remote in the immediate; the eternal in the ephemeral; the past in the present; the infinite in the finite; these are to me the springs of delight and beauty.” ~ H.P. Lovecraft

  3. #23
    Senior Member Sahara's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sona View Post
    If it was easy I wouldn't be asking. I suspect everyone else also has a problem with this. Am just going to have to lie, and take a situation where I've seen someone get angry.

    Do you remember the only time you said you felt love for a girl? how you wish you had fought for her?

    Isn't that an emotion?

    You will get way better scores if you use a true to you emotion, if you have an issue using the anger as an example, then use that one time you felt love.

    Sit down now with a pad and a pen and think about that time, take yourself back to it, what kind of physical sensations did it cause? stuff like that. Jot down the first things that come to mind.

    I know you have emotions, I have seen you going emo before all over the place.

    What about fear? you just have to describe it
    "No one can be free of the chains that surround them"

  4. #24
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jennifer View Post
    Well, Sona, there have been lots of times on the forum here where you have seemed very angry to me. (Such as your discussion with Lateralus. You might not classify it as anger, but truly it was...)
    What was I angry over? I know I've been really angry twice on this forum. Firstly, the the P.I.G avatar woman. And then Lat, and I don;t even know what I was angry over.

    I'm not sure why you're avoiding just picking a real example from your life and exploring it.
    Its embarrassing, I have to explain this to a women, although I do prefer I have to speak about it to a woman then a man. But still its damn embarrassing. They ask me too many questions and get into my head. They are psychologists, and without you knowing you end up speaking and then regret why you told them that. In fact the report they are writing about me is massive. They would be writing anything about me. We don't get to read them. And I can tell they act differently with me. They be nice to me. It just seems surreal its like I want to get angry at them, but somehow I can't. Its just the way they talk to me.

    I'm not trying to poke you here, but you seem unwilling to embrace the moments in your life where you've been angry... and that's why you have trouble managing the anger. If you don't recognize it and deal with it, it will build and eventually burst, causing lots of damage to yourself and others.
    The thing is when am angry am angry. I don't rember things when I'm angry. I could have a massive angry argument with say the lady at Greg's just because she said I should say "please" and I don't understand where all that angry just came from in go. And then like a few hrs later I'll completely forget what I was angry over and I'll sit there thinking why was I angry. Then what gets me more angry for being angry over stupid things. Then I tell myself now I'm being angry for being angry, maybe I shouldn't be angry but then am at a conflict with myself telling myself am so angry am calming myself down or tricking my self into calming my anger. Then I think I don't have to fear anyone I'll be angry if I want to be angry.

    There's nothing to be ashamed of, if that's a factor here at all. It's just part of being human. religious factors try to institute guilt over anger, but I think a mature outlook includes comprehending and exploring anger and learning how to deal with it. We're allowed to feel anger; it's not a sin.
    I would do it, If i knew I was the only person who would read it. I mean who's to know they could be laughing about me behind my back. Saying thats like maybe his angry because he has a small penis. I don't know. You know how its like. Its just strange that I don't know if they are egunily being nice with me or just trying to trick me.

  5. #25
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sahara View Post
    Do you remember the only time you said you felt love for a girl? how you wish you had fought for her?

    Isn't that an emotion?

    You will get way better scores if you use a true to you emotion, if you have an issue using the anger as an example, then use that one time you felt love.

    Sit down now with a pad and a pen and think about that time, take yourself back to it, what kind of physical sensations did it cause? stuff like that. Jot down the first things that come to mind.

    I know you have emotions, I have seen you going emo before all over the place.

    What about fear? you just have to describe it
    Jesus, that would be so embarrassing. They would laugh their asses off after I leave. I never got to marry her, they probably use that and say I'm angry because of that. Which am not because, they will laugh and say oh look at that saddo he can't get over a girl.

  6. #26
    Senior Member Sahara's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sona View Post
    Jesus, that would be so embarrassing. They would laugh their asses off after I leave. I never got to marry her, they probably use that and say I'm angry because of that. Which am not because, they will laugh and say oh look at that saddo he can't get over a girl.

    I highly doubt that somehow, you must get a grip on your paranoia.

    Personally i would never laugh, I would empathise very strongly, love lost and all.

    What is this assignment for exactly? study? probation?
    "No one can be free of the chains that surround them"

  7. #27
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sahara View Post
    I highly doubt that somehow, you must get a grip on your paranoia.

    Personally i would never laugh, I would empathise very strongly, love lost and all.

    What is this assignment for exactly? study? probation?
    Part of probation. My probation officer she gave me it and told me to complete it by the end of the week. And she will look at this etc, because she is also a psychologist. Then she will pass it onto her other psychologist female friend. Sit around and talk about it. I told her I would do stuff like this. As my "friend" fucked everything up for me, and she was so pissed off with me she wanted to get be sent down. She had written a report which she was going to pass to the judge and my lawyer had a copy. basically, in that she had written "highly intelligent, not willing to learn or reform will rationalize self out of responsibility" in fact this woman is pretty clear, because there is a book store across probation and I bought a law book from there, and she had seen be going in so when I left she went into the store and asked them what book I bought and they told her I bought a law book, and she was practically having an orgasm over this in in fact she called me in the next day to talk about. So I had to get my self out of that, I couldn't say I was going to study law again so I told her I bought it for my mate who was studying A Levels. I don't, then doing sneaky things like that. And wanting to know everything about me, I told her I keep an on-line journal and she was really surprised. lol its only a journal. Whats the point getting excited over it.

    So anyway I'm being really good with and trust her a little more, because she didn't have me sent down and let me have one final chance. So am doing this to impress her, and to keep my side of the promise./

  8. #28
    Senior Member ptgatsby's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sona View Post
    The thing is when am angry am angry. I don't rember things when I'm angry. I could have a massive angry argument with say the lady at Greg's just because she said I should say "please" and I don't understand where all that angry just came from in go.
    That's why you are in anger management. The key word being management. See Jennifer's post on bottling up emotions.

    The only way you will grow... to become stronger... is to embrace your emotions rather than let them control you... You don't think losing control is strong do you? Strong isn't about not having emotions... it's about having control over your emotions. If you can't do that... well...

    People look up to those that have intense drive, strong will and the moral courage to speak out. Those are leadership traits... powerful traits. Lashing out uncontrollably is weak, something people look down upon. As hard as it is to do now, working through the emotions... learning to express them like this, and then in smaller progressive amounts, will make you stronger all around.

    This might be one of the defining excersizes you do in your life, if you let it be. I'd take it seriously and I'd do it honestly.

    edit: And after reading the post above, the psychologist knows it too. That's why you were asked to do it. Forget judgment... this is about helping you grow.

  9. #29
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    Psychologists aren't going to laugh at you. They work with people who have many difficulties every day. If they were to laugh at you that would only reflect badly on them as professionals and not you.

    I suggest you take something with you to write on when you're going about every day life and try to notice when you feel angry. Once you notice it, try to recognise and consider the questions on your hwk and find somewhere quiet to fill them in. It's difficult to stop yourself in the heat of the moment but this is what you need to learn to do.

  10. #30
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    Quote Originally Posted by dissolved girl View Post
    Psychologists aren't going to laugh at you. They work with people who have many difficulties every day. If they were to laugh at you that would only reflect badly on them as professionals and not you.
    Exactly. Cling to that idea, Sona, if you cling to anything here. There are many many people who would NOT laugh at you (especially the professionals, who are in their line of work because they WANT to help people with their problems)... and if they acted differently, it would not be a reflection on YOU, it would reflect badly on THEM.

    I empathize with what you responded to me with, and I understand how convoluted and confusing the reasoning can get (I have written journal entries to myself that sound much like what you're saying, where you're angry about getting angry over being angry, etc...) That's the typical mark of the introverted intellectual (IxTx type), as far as I can tell.

    Right now, you do have a lot of self-pride and can't bear the thought of potentially being laughed. Okay. That's where you are, then. Much of the laughter realistically is inside of you... unless you have spent a lot of time around people who WOULD laugh at you for admitting such things. (Is that what the male Muslim culture is like? Honestly? )

    All I can say is that there are other large groups of people who do not treat each other that way and who consider that sort of behavior on their part to be immature. It sucks to not remember what you were feeling or what happened during a part of your life where emotions overwhelmed you... if not frightening to have that "black spot" in your memory. It might always be hard for you. But I think at some point you'll have to face those things.

    Anyway, other people are giving you more practical information, while mine is more general, so I will stop. I'm simply saying I feel bad that you have those sort of experiences, I am trying to "recalibrate" your thinking so you know that alternatives to your perceptions exist, and I want to encourage you to be brave and push ahead and embrace all of you... not just the logical parts.
    "Hey Capa -- We're only stardust." ~ "Sunshine"

    “Pleasure to me is wonder—the unexplored, the unexpected, the thing that is hidden and the changeless thing that lurks behind superficial mutability. To trace the remote in the immediate; the eternal in the ephemeral; the past in the present; the infinite in the finite; these are to me the springs of delight and beauty.” ~ H.P. Lovecraft

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