Hey Evan, if you're talking about what you were accused of doing to Jack in the drunk thread, that doesn't count as manipulation whether it was true you did what they said you did.
Yeah, that wasn't too clear but I think you get my gist.
No I don't think of that as manipulative (or, if I did, I would make the case that it was manipulation, but still not wrong). Thinking about the subtleties made me want to bring up manipulation as a concept.
I've never seen convincing someone of an idea as being manipulative if you make a reasoned case. My understanding of manipulation is to get people to act without their entire consent. This is accomplished by withholding information, instilling fear or intimidation, undermining the person or their confidence, using exaggeration and flattery to distort their perceptions, or providing false information. If the person is in a position to give full consent to act in response to your desire in a positive way, then that is a different category from the manipulation I have described.
The first man to raise a fist is the man who's run out of ideas. H.G. WELLS
The first principle is that you must not fool yourself, and you are the easiest person to fool. FEYNMAN If this is monkey pee, you're on your own.SCULLY
I for one detest head games. If you want someone to do/stop doing something then ask them. If they refuse and you have no direct authority over them deal with the situation as it calls for. One's efforts in trying to obtain a given outcome/action from another person all depends on the interaction between the two.
I like to be direct and honest. The only way to deal with conflict is head on. Trying to manipulate someone is not dealing with conflict head on, IMHO. It is "talking through the daisies." Also, if I detect someone is trying to manipulate me I tell them to piss off and go about my business. I just don't have time or energy for such tomfoolery.