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  1. #11
    Junior Member Analysisfailed's Avatar
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    I've found that manipulating people takes the challenge out of life, I mean, if you can force someone to agree with you how is that fun?

    Also, some things I'd prefer were by their choice. If you manipulate them, is that really how they feel?

    I am still plenty willing to manipulate someone if they threaten myself or anyone I care about.
    "Clarity of mind means clarity of passion, too; this is why a great and clear mind loves ardently and sees distinctly what it loves." - Blaise Pascal

    "I pledge allegiance to the flag of the Union of Soviet Socialist Republics of unified Russia, and to the Socialist State for which it stands, one nation, under Lenin, with Equality and Vodka for all."

  2. #12
    Senior Member Anja's Avatar
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    That's such a good point, Analysis.

    My mother was a master manipulator. I was well into my thirties when I began to feel sorry for her. She'd never allowed herself the opportunity to know whether people did things for her because they loved her. Or only because she "made" them do it. Sad.
    "No ray of sunshine is ever lost, but the green which it awakes into existence needs time to sprout, and it is not always granted to the sower to see the harvest. All work that is worth anything is done in faith." - Albert Schweitzer

  3. #13
    Emerging Tallulah's Avatar
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    People resent being manipulated because it makes them feel like objects or pawns instead of human beings. That being said, there are degrees of manipulation, and some manipulation can become necessary to get things done. For instance, convincing an egomaniac that your idea was really their idea, if they are the person in charge and it's for the greater good.
    Something Witty

  4. #14

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    Manipulation perpetuates fantasy. You can make the world do or be anything you want. But it is so much more fulfilling to actually see it as it is and be part of it. To understand the problem rather than win the contest. Achievement in almost every aspect of life is overrated. It is a superficial reward to prop up ego. Get there for the love of it, not because they dangle some label, or prize in front of you. In a way chasing that label or prize makes you the manipulated. They create the game, you follow. You reach what they set you, you think, "now I'm labelled as this, I am this." or now I won. Won what? The imaginary contest in your head? Almost all the time, manipulation is played on this field. In genuine interaction, it is rarely applicable.
    Freude, schöner Götterfunken Tochter aus Elysium, Wir betreten feuertrunken, Himmlische, dein Heiligtum! Deine Zauber binden wieder Was die Mode streng geteilt; Alle Menschen werden Brüder, Wo dein sanfter Flügel weilt.

  5. #15
    wholly charmed Spartacuss's Avatar
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    lol @ deeming a fortuitously favorable outcome through catfights "manipulation."
    Ti (43); Ne (41.8); Te (33.7); Fi (30.5); Ni (27.5); Se (24.7); Si (21.5); Fe (17.3)
    The More You Know the Less You Need. - Aboriginal Saying

  6. #16

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    Freude, schöner Götterfunken Tochter aus Elysium, Wir betreten feuertrunken, Himmlische, dein Heiligtum! Deine Zauber binden wieder Was die Mode streng geteilt; Alle Menschen werden Brüder, Wo dein sanfter Flügel weilt.

  7. #17
    Senior Member bluebell's Avatar
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    I wrote this in my blog at the other place nearly a year ago:

    Someone at work recently pointed out to me that I have a negative reaction to influencing/manipulating people.

    I really dislike it because it seems so insincere. And I know that we're all expected to do it, because you get better outcomes (in regards to projects and keeping the team cohesive etc) that way. I don't mind it so much with dealing with other organisations, because I know it's all part of the game but I really don't like doing it with people I work with.

    The core of my reaction to it is a bit complicated and multi-layered. At a surface level, it's because I dislike insincerity. At a slightly deeper level, it feels like out and out manipulation.

    Underneath that, I realise that I lose respect for people if I'm playing to some of their weaknesses (eg susceptibility to flattery) and they fall for it - like how can they not notice that's what's happening?

    Then under that is a loss of trust. And under that, a desire to be inscrutable. And again, the dislike of insincerity.

    Not fun. I think I need to find a way of seeing it in a different light.
    ...so much smoke pouring out of each chromosome.

  8. #18
    Senior Member Anja's Avatar
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    True story: Once when I needed some quick cash I worked for two weeks as a telemarketer. I was their top salesperson. But I had to quit because I started to dislike myself. Heh.
    "No ray of sunshine is ever lost, but the green which it awakes into existence needs time to sprout, and it is not always granted to the sower to see the harvest. All work that is worth anything is done in faith." - Albert Schweitzer

  9. #19

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    Quote Originally Posted by Anja View Post
    True story: Once when I needed some quick cash I worked for two weeks as a telemarketer. I was their top salesperson. But I had to quit because I started to dislike myself. Heh.
    I've got the same problem. I'm good at manipulation, but I get a conscience about it.
    Freude, schöner Götterfunken Tochter aus Elysium, Wir betreten feuertrunken, Himmlische, dein Heiligtum! Deine Zauber binden wieder Was die Mode streng geteilt; Alle Menschen werden Brüder, Wo dein sanfter Flügel weilt.

  10. #20
    Senior Member Moiety's Avatar
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    I don't believe in manipulation. I do believe in moral superiority, though, and I make an effort to not give other people chance to call me a hypocrite EVER. That way I can point out their bad actions with a clear conscience.

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