I understand your paradigm... but there are other paradigms under which to view a marriage relationship than as a purely business-like arrangement with sex traded for security. In fact, that seems to be the most shallow paradigm of them all, if you look at all the possibilities and actually have been married for any real length of time.
And what does this sort of **** have to do with Sahara right now? (It seems rather like some woman shows up raped and bleeding on your doorstep, and you stand around talking to other people in her proximity about whether or not she brought it on herself.)
You had already dug yourself a deep-enough hole before *I* had ever come along.