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  1. #31
    Senior Member Sahara's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by cafe View Post
    Religion is just an excuse for this kind of stupidity. It's really not unusual for white Anglo men over here to kill former partners (sometimes along with the kids) despite the fact that we have no set tradition of honor killing or anything like it. Women can get protective orders, but they have no teeth or real protection.

    It was last year, I think, when a girl at my older daughter's school was a victim of a multiple murder. Her mother's ex killed her, her sister, and her mother. We also had a recent case of a guy drowning his sons in a lake while he had them for visitation.

    Why do they think these men are just going to magically stop being violent? And why is race and/or religion an excuse for something that happens across all races and religions?
    Wow, that's just so bad, and you are right, I have seen stories of non religious people doing just as horrible things.

    I don't know why they think they will magically stop being violent, they say that the violence was directed at me so the kids are safe lol because everyone knows that it causes NO damage whatsoever to a child who sees their mother beaten.:rolli:

    They made him promise, so they did their duty.

    Ok, really good night now, too much going on in the noggin.
    "No one can be free of the chains that surround them"

  2. #32
    @.~*virinaĉo*~.@ Totenkindly's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by cafe View Post
    Women can get protective orders, but they have no teeth or real protection.
    And in fact getting the protective order sometimes ups the level of the violence... because now the man is more desperate and the woman thinks she is "safe."

    We also had a recent case of a guy drowning his sons in a lake while he had them for visitation.
    I read about those things weekly... and I know I don't hear about them all, I only hear about the ones that make my local or the national news. It's horrific. I cannot imagine letting my kids disappear, wondering if I would ever see them again because my ex would decide they'd want to get revenge upon me for disobeying him.

    Why do they think these men are just going to magically stop being violent? And why is race and/or religion an excuse for something that happens across all races and religions?
    Ditto.

    I am just not even sure how the law can be made in such a way to fix things. Idealistically, it would be nice for the community itself to set the standard and take care of its own... but the world is no longer very tightly knit.... not enough to do THAT.

    Seriously, if it was feasible for Sahara and her children to flee here (or anywhere else safe in the world), I would contribute as much as I could to the tickets. I hate the thought of not knowing what's going on with her, and wondering whether her absence for a few days is because she's just busy... or because something far worse has occurred... and not having ANY way to even find out.
    "Hey Capa -- We're only stardust." ~ "Sunshine"

    “Pleasure to me is wonder—the unexplored, the unexpected, the thing that is hidden and the changeless thing that lurks behind superficial mutability. To trace the remote in the immediate; the eternal in the ephemeral; the past in the present; the infinite in the finite; these are to me the springs of delight and beauty.” ~ H.P. Lovecraft

  3. #33
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    Do you have some other people you could move in with or stay with? (Just to look for some more ideas, though this still may not help.)

  4. #34
    Per Ardua Metamorphosis's Avatar
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    I don't understand why anyone thinks that a father has a right to see his kids if they are not safe with him. Procreation doesn't automatically bestow power on someone. Besides, if he were not allowed to see them it would only be until they were 18 anyways, right? (assuming it is like the U.S.) ...so the argument that he shouldn't be kept away from his kids for life is ridiculous

    Sorry, Sahara...hope everything turns out well.
    "You will always be fond of me. I represent to you all the sins you never had the courage to commit."

    Reason is, and ought only to be the slave of the passions, and can never pretend to any other office
    than to serve and obey them. - David Hume

  5. #35
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jennifer View Post
    Seriously, if it was feasible for Sahara and her children to flee here (or anywhere else safe in the world), I would contribute as much as I could to the tickets. I hate the thought of not knowing what's going on with her, and wondering whether her absence for a few days is because she's just busy... or because something far worse has occurred... and not having ANY way to even find out.
    Same here. I'm having trouble focusing on anything else at the moment, this thread is very, very worrying.

  6. #36
    Senior Member Lateralus's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jennifer View Post
    Seriously, if it was feasible for Sahara and her children to flee here (or anywhere else safe in the world), I would contribute as much as I could to the tickets. I hate the thought of not knowing what's going on with her, and wondering whether her absence for a few days is because she's just busy... or because something far worse has occurred... and not having ANY way to even find out.
    Same here. I would gladly contribute to make sure she's safe.
    "We grow up thinking that beliefs are something to be proud of, but they're really nothing but opinions one refuses to reconsider. Beliefs are easy. The stronger your beliefs are, the less open you are to growth and wisdom, because "strength of belief" is only the intensity with which you resist questioning yourself. As soon as you are proud of a belief, as soon as you think it adds something to who you are, then you've made it a part of your ego."

  7. #37
    Senior Member cafe's Avatar
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    Me too.
    “There are two novels that can change a bookish fourteen-year old’s life: The Lord of the Rings and Atlas Shrugged. One is a childish fantasy that often engenders a lifelong obsession with its unbelievable heroes, leading to an emotionally stunted, socially crippled adulthood, unable to deal with the real world. The other, of course, involves orcs.”
    ~ John Rogers

  8. #38
    Rubber Nipple Salesperson ladypinkington's Avatar
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    My heart just goes out to you and you are so in my prayers! Can you leave your country and move away if necessary? Can you appeal to a higher court?
    Me and hubby made an RPG Nutrition Game
    Play and Vote July 14th to Aug 14th
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  9. #39
    Protocol Droid Athenian200's Avatar
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    I think this is a terribly dangerous state of affairs. I don't think you should have to be anywhere near this... man... no, this SOCIOPATH without a legal presence nearby. If you have no other options, I think you should consider giving up your kids for adoption or something rather than risk letting your ex-husband near you or them, if that could work. Something bad might happen to you if you allow him near you. Or perhaps you could attempt to flee the country to France or somewhere? I really don't think you should suffer that man to get anywhere near you. Does that make sense? I think perhaps you should even consider having him... "taken care of," if you know what I mean.

  10. #40
    にゃん runvardh's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by athenian200 View Post
    I think perhaps you should even consider having him... "taken care of," if you know what I mean.
    I think that a person who can be found with the will and resources would probably like the guy and ain't into charrity work...
    Dreams are best served manifest and tangible.

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