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  1. #1
    Rubber Nipple Salesperson ladypinkington's Avatar
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    Default The ANTI fortune cookie time.

    Okay- let's make anti fortunes.

    You will inherit great wealth, and then the next day you'll die.
    So make out your will today.

    LOL
    Me and hubby made an RPG Nutrition Game
    Play and Vote July 14th to Aug 14th
    http://www.appsforhealthykids.com/ap...ing-vegetables

  2. #2
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    Default

    Remember what happened to your sister in the basement!

  3. #3
    Senior Member Alpha Prime's Avatar
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    You'll do it with your dreamgirl on the couch, in the kitchen, on the bed, in your neighbour's backyard, even on the beach! Yup! You'll be texting each other. That's ALL!
    Hit like a heavyweight, breathe deep, meditate
    Make the whole crowd get loud, make 'em levitate
    I ride through my city like a presidential candidate
    L-A-X, Phantom double-R, and accelerate

  4. #4

    Default

    You will get sick. I did not wash my hands.

  5. #5
    Habitual Fi LineStepper JocktheMotie's Avatar
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    Default

    It puts the lotion on its skin or else it gets the hose again.



  6. #6
    Striving for balance Little Linguist's Avatar
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    Default

    "You will breathe sometime within the next six minutes or die."

    "Rest assured that the dress does *indeed* make you look fat."

    "You will die a poor, lonely bastard."

    "Although you will have the most fabulous sex in your life, you will die of a heart attack from shock shortly thereafter."

    "No, you definitely will not achieve all your heart's desires. Suck it up."

    "The greater the aggression, the more obvious the results. Crying babies get the milk bottle first."

    "If you don't understand how it works, read the instruction manual. If you can't read, use a hammer. If that fails, use a gun."

    "Wisdom is for wimps. Screw someone over today."

    "Any day that is not spent bitching about the government is a day not fully lived."

    "There are only two certainties in life - not death and taxes, but stupid people and late trains."

    "Men are assh*les, women are b*tches."

    "If you piss off a man, he'll beat you up. If you piss off a woman, she will stab you twenty times in your sleep. Moral: don't piss anyone off."

    "This is but a fleeting fart in light of eternity."

    "Human beings suck."

    "Your dog will shit in your bed this evening."

    "The world will end by the time you finish reading this. If it doesn't, you will die a slow, painful death."

    "Your boss hates your ass, and you will not get a raise. So don't even try."

    "DROP IT!"

    "You will definitely never achieve self-realization being the stuck-up, arrogant, greedy asshole that you are!!!"
    If you are interested in language, words, linguistics, or foreign languages, check out my blog and read, post, and/or share.

  7. #7
    Rubber Nipple Salesperson ladypinkington's Avatar
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    Default

    ^^^ wow- did you make all of those- they were very good.
    I think we have found your calling,lol.
    Me and hubby made an RPG Nutrition Game
    Play and Vote July 14th to Aug 14th
    http://www.appsforhealthykids.com/ap...ing-vegetables

  8. #8
    Striving for balance Little Linguist's Avatar
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    I did make all of them up within the space of about 3-5 minutes....

    If only I could channel my creativity into practical, useful things...I'd be a millionaire!!!!
    If you are interested in language, words, linguistics, or foreign languages, check out my blog and read, post, and/or share.

  9. #9
    Senor Membrane
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    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Little Linguist View Post
    If only I could channel my creativity into practical, useful things...I'd be a millionaire!!!!
    That would make a perfect fortune cookie for me...

  10. #10
    @.~*virinaĉo*~.@ Totenkindly's Avatar
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    You will step out in the street and get hit by a bus... if not today, then tomorrow.

    Your life will suck and then you will die.

    Your wife is not sleeping with another man while you are reading this. (They are very much awake.)

    You're ugly and will never amount to anything.

    Today is the best day of the rest of your life; everything gets worse from here.

    Your mother makes fun of your nose behind your back.
    (PS. She's also not your mother.)

    Fortune cookies for gorillas are sold separately.

    Germs are invisible and deadly.
    This slip of paper was covered with three trillion of them.
    "Hey Capa -- We're only stardust." ~ "Sunshine"

    “Pleasure to me is wonder—the unexplored, the unexpected, the thing that is hidden and the changeless thing that lurks behind superficial mutability. To trace the remote in the immediate; the eternal in the ephemeral; the past in the present; the infinite in the finite; these are to me the springs of delight and beauty.” ~ H.P. Lovecraft

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