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View Poll Results: Are you home?

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  • Yes

    21 47.73%
  • No

    12 27.27%
  • The life of a gypsy is more my thing

    11 25.00%
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  1. #31
    DoubleplusUngoodNonperson
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    My home exists entirely in my head, so yes on technicality. I have no home other than in the "Kingdom of God".... lolz

  2. #32
    RETIRED CzeCze's Avatar
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    I concur, home is a state of mind. Not that I necessarily always feel "at home", but I do like travelling and being in different spaces. Places are "home" and they are not. Growing up bicultural and bilingual also probably plays a part in that.
    “If you want to tell people the truth, make them laugh, otherwise they'll kill you.” ― Oscar Wilde

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  3. #33
    No moss growing on me Giggly's Avatar
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    This is an interesting question, Berberella. I have an older cousin who spoke to me about this a few times. Her parents moved her around a lot as a child. She said she hated moving and resented her parents for it.

    When she became an adult, she also started to move around. This was because she said she never felt settled no matter where she was and what she was doing, and she was just searching for happiness.

    She said she always felt a longing or yearning for that something else or that something more that would make her finally feel settled or give her that feeling of being "home". The longing was so strong within her that it would cause her to up and move or change her scenery every couple of years or so, whether that was moving to a new place or getting a new job or a new man. She had two children she was doing this with and other family members were pulled into it too. Those who loved her would inevitably go along with it because we loved her. But the thing is, she was continuing the pattern of her childhood, you see, and she knew this, but in her mind she just had to do it.

    Then one day, she said she realized that her search was silly and that she just needed to appreciate the gifts that were right in front of her eyes. So she stopped wandering. I can't say if she was happy at that point or not, but I think she simply stopped because she just got too old and tired to keep doing it. But the thing is, her children were almost done with HS by then, and they resented her for what she did too-they are same age as me and talked to me about it. Children don't understand (or care) about adult struggles for happiness. They like and need stability, even if it's boring and not quite up to the adults standards. I can imagine that that's quite a conundrum for a parent who feels the natural urge to wander.

    Personally, I feel at home right now but I know that this is not where I will settle. I have always had a remarkable ability to adapt to new physical environments very quickly and very well, to the point of it feeling like "home" within weeks. I don't know if that's good or bad.

  4. #34
    12 and a half weeks BerberElla's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Hmm View Post
    This is an interesting question, Berberella. I have an older cousin who spoke to me about this a few times. Her parents moved her around a lot as a child. She said she hated moving and resented her parents for it.

    When she became an adult, she also started to move around. This was because she said she never felt settled no matter where she was and what she was doing, and she was just searching for happiness.

    She said she always felt a longing or yearning for that something else or that something more that would make her finally feel settled or give her that feeling of being "home". The longing was so strong within her that it would cause her to up and move or change her scenery every couple of years or so, whether that was moving to a new place or getting a new job or a new man. She had two children she was doing this with and other family members were pulled into it too. Those who loved her would inevitably go along with it because we loved her. But the thing is, she was continuing the pattern of her childhood, you see, and she knew this, but in her mind she just had to do it.

    Then one day, she said she realized that her search was silly and that she just needed to appreciate the gifts that were right in front of her eyes. So she stopped wandering. I can't say if she was happy at that point or not, but I think she simply stopped because she just got too old and tired to keep doing it. But the thing is, her children were almost done with HS by then, and they resented her for what she did too-they are same age as me and talked to me about it. Children don't understand (or care) about adult struggles for happiness. They like and need stability, even if it's boring and not quite up to the adults standards. I can imagine that that's quite a conundrum for a parent who feels the natural urge to wander.

    Personally, I feel at home right now but I know that this is not where I will settle. I have always had a remarkable ability to adapt to new physical environments very quickly and very well, to the point of it feeling like "home" within weeks. I don't know if that's good or bad.
    Yes, alot of my moves were from foster home to foster home to childrens home etc, and it does seem to have affected by ability to feel stable.

    I know I need stability for the kids which is why I doubt I will move again (unless I hit the jackpot lol) my eldest child was with me for many of the moves and he is settling in to this house, and fears the thought of moving again.

    I just know I will get unhappy again, or less I know, than it is I worry I will.

    I guess since all of the being dumped from one place to another as a teenager in state care, I have always dreamed of coming home and finally feeling content in where I am at.
    Echo - "So are you trying to say she is Evil"

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  5. #35
    No moss growing on me Giggly's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by BerberElla View Post
    I guess since all of the being dumped from one place to another as a teenager in state care, I have always dreamed of coming home and finally feeling content in where I am at.
    Sure, but that is just a decision that you make.

    "I am home." "I am content."

  6. #36
    12 and a half weeks BerberElla's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Hmm View Post
    Sure, but that is just a decision that you make.

    "I am home." "I am content."
    I tried when I first moved in here, I felt that way too, I remember saying "This is my home now". I just feel a restlessness coming on again. I know it's because the veneer has cracked and I see things I didn't that have sort of ruined the idealistic vision I painted.

    Anyway I guess I just need to break through this, a few more years and maybe I will see it as home.
    Echo - "So are you trying to say she is Evil"

    DeWitt - "Something far worse, she's an Idealist"

    Berb's Johari Berb's Nohari

  7. #37
    ^He pronks, too! Magic Poriferan's Avatar
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    I haven't moved much. I've only lived in 6 different buildings. Three counties, one state. I lived ten years in one town.

    Even still, I don't have a sense of home. I only agree that getting back to my house makes me feel secure. Even then, you might say that much of my life I've found my room, rather than the whole house, to be secure. The rest of the things listed I do not feel and have not felt.

    I've never owned a house though. The problem might be that the places I've lived are always owned and inhabited by others.
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  8. #38
    No moss growing on me Giggly's Avatar
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    I lived in the same house for my entire childhood. It was awesome.

    Since I turned 18, I've moved 3 times.

  9. #39
    Senior Membrane spirilis's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Hmm View Post
    I lived in the same house for my entire childhood. It was awesome.

    Since I turned 18, I've moved 3 times.
    I lived in the same place until age 22, moved once and planning on moving this summer (buying my first house).

    In some ways I consider myself as tending towards too much stability and not enough excitement/different experiences. There's never been any question where "home" is for me, but certain areas and landscapes have special meaning as a sort of "home away from home" where I frequent (namely, the nearby mountains).
    intp | type 9w1 sp/sx/so

  10. #40
    Senor Membrane
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    I am home, yeah. I've been home in many places. When I move away from here, I will move to some house or apartment and it will become my home.

    The time when I wasn't sure if I was home was when I moved away from my dads. It took me something like a year to speak about my new home as a home.

    EDIT: I remembered that the other time I wasn't sure about having a home was when my parents broke up. It took me even longer time to refer to either of their houses as "home".

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