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Thread: normal reaction?

  1. #11
    Senior Member Array
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    Jun 2008


    Quote Originally Posted by luminous beam View Post
    It's directly affecting her because roomate's mother is in prpl's face by handling roomie's responsibilities. It should be prpl and her roomate discussing and handling problems, but instead it's prpl's and roomie's mom as partners, when prpl never consented to that. She was expecting things to be normal and for her and roomie to handle shit together, no unwanted 3rd party involved.
    The operative word in my quote being, "WHEN". The situations that do directly affect her, I understand why she would be frustrated. Yet, the general goings on that are only between her roommate and her mother are their own business.

  2. #12
    にゃん Array runvardh's Avatar
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    Jun 2007
    6w7 sx/so


    I try to interact with those kinds of people as little as possible and when a mutual responsibility comes up I tend to talk down to them a lot...
    Dreams are best served manifest and tangible.

    INFP, 6w7, IEI

    I accept no responsibility, what so ever, for the fact that I exist; I do, however, accept full responsibility for what I do while I exist.

  3. #13
    ♪♫♪♫♪♫ Array luminous beam's Avatar
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    Feb 2008
    2w1 sx/so


    Quote Originally Posted by 01011010 View Post
    The operative word in my quote being, "WHEN". The situations that do directly affect her, I understand why she would be frustrated. Yet, the general goings on that are only between her roommate and her mother are their own business.
    Yeah, you're right in regards to the way her roomie's and mother's relationship is, that's their own business. The thing is, if it's an ongoing problem, and with her being NF and having the susceptibility to be subjective to things, all this will most likely not go away until both parties separate and/or the issue is confronted head on and perhaps resolved, but it sounds like the former is the better option seeing that the mother is controlling and whatnot.

  4. #14
    Senior Member Array Anja's Avatar
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    May 2008


    I wonder how much you sound like mom when you "get on" her to do things. It could be setting up a conflict for you.

    She has probably learned that if she doesn't do anything somebody will eventually do it and she knows how to use that knowledge to her benefit.

    I suggest to step back and just take care of yourself as best you can until you can make different arrangements. If I were in your place I'd mention something like the cable once and ask her what the two of you should do about it. After that I'd make arrangements to do my viewing someplace else and let her go without if she can't provide for herself.

    The same with anything you need to do for the benefit of both of you. Take care of yourself and do what you are able to disentangle from the power struggle. The silent power struggle from her end.

    Could be she's gotten good at waiting people out. Refuse to play her game. Anything you can do to remove yourself from needing her to take any action will free you from the position of trying to get her to do something.

    So try to remove any dependence you have on her to get your needs met. Now you know you need your own mailbox key try to think of any other things you need to have for yourself so you don't have to depend on her reliability.

    It sounds like in areas where you have had to do business in tandem with her you will end up having to deal with her mom cuz that's the way these two have it set up. So I'd recommend stepping aside until you can change your situation. I certainly wouldn't expect either of these two to do anything in your behalf.
    "No ray of sunshine is ever lost, but the green which it awakes into existence needs time to sprout, and it is not always granted to the sower to see the harvest. All work that is worth anything is done in faith." - Albert Schweitzer

  5. #15
    heart on fire Array
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    May 2007


    Quote Originally Posted by prplchknz View Post
    Is it perfectly normal to get pissed off if your room mate's mom handles everything for your room mate? I mean it just doesn't seem right to me, she's 21 yet when evers their a problem its me or her mom making phone calls. I refuse to discuss issues with my room mate because I know I will get a call from her mom, and it's like NO! if i wanted to talk to you I would have contacted you your daughter doesn't do shit so please back the fuck off.

    There's no excuse to why her mom handles everything.
    I've got friends my age who still have their mommies holding their hands and it makes me sick.

    One of them when her mother comes over, the mother yanks open all the drawers and checks the closets to make sure her daughter is all clean and neat enough. I'd never want to have to put up with that as an adult, but one has to if one is taking a lot of money and practical help from mother I suppose...

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