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  1. #11
    The Destroyer Colors's Avatar
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    My thoughts are usually jumbled, so it helps to get them out somehwere, sort through and get to the essence and the product of them. It's healing to get out bad thoughts.

    And when I occasionally look back at past entries, it can really lend a sense of perspective to see where I've been. Memory is so tricky, it's nice to have little reminders.

    Also, if it's meant to be public, it's a good way to share how I'm feeling without the pressure for my friends to respond or for me to be fast or clear right away.

  2. #12
    @.~*virinaĉo*~.@ Totenkindly's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Athenian200 View Post
    You're very interesting and emotionally complex, but very difficult to understand. My attitude tends to be that the past only matters in terms of how it impacts the present. I would often rather forget the past and deal with what I am today. Your perspective confuses me. I don't know why.
    I look at life as a collection of patterns -- a system.

    Patterns involve complex data points in time.

    Who I was in the past is part of the pattern of my life that helps dictate my future.

    I could just ignore my entire past, but then it's building from scratch rather than building systematically, using the pieces I already have to help me find a consistent picture of myself across time. I don't want a fractured reality, I want something that is consistent and "fits together."

    (I did reach a point, though, last summer where I make allowance for myself to disturb the past rather than letting it wholesale dictate my future like I used to.)


    So many things I don't understand... the obligations, the sense that things are so universal and inevitable, that things apply in such a way, the whole sense of certainty in meanings. It's so strange.
    Again, it's a system. If you do something at one point, it has a definable impact elsewhere. Things are connected, not disjointed, and cannot be considered in isolation.

    I guess... thanks for sharing?
    Aw, gee you're welcome!!!!
    "Hey Capa -- We're only stardust." ~ "Sunshine"

    “Pleasure to me is wonder—the unexplored, the unexpected, the thing that is hidden and the changeless thing that lurks behind superficial mutability. To trace the remote in the immediate; the eternal in the ephemeral; the past in the present; the infinite in the finite; these are to me the springs of delight and beauty.” ~ H.P. Lovecraft

  3. #13
    Protocol Droid Athenian200's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jennifer View Post
    I look at life as a collection of patterns -- a system.

    Patterns involve complex data points in time.

    Who I was in the past is part of the pattern of my life that helps dictate my future.

    I could just ignore my entire past, but then it's building from scratch rather than building systematically, using the pieces I already have to help me find a consistent picture of myself across time. I don't want a fractured reality, I want something that is consistent and "fits together."

    (I did reach a point, though, last summer where I make allowance for myself to disturb the past rather than letting it wholesale dictate my future like I used to.)
    That actually explains a lot. But I guess to me, there just isn't a consistent picture. I feel like I constantly hop between various conceptions of myself. What you're describing sounds almost like a prison to me. I would probably be bored by a consistent picture.

    Also, there's the issue that it sounds really, really complicated to keep track of all those pieces. It would involve so much thinking, and so much of it would be limited to the frame of your personal experiences, and not really have anything to do with how other people see you, or your goals. Don't get me wrong, I like to think carefully about abstractions or specific systems, but I feel like I'm a bit too simple-minded to think THAT much. I just want to know what I'm dealing with, and what will be beneficial in dealing with it.


    Again, it's a system. If you do something at one point, it has a definable impact elsewhere. Things are connected, not disjointed, and cannot be considered in isolation.
    But if you get even one piece of data wrong, your idea of the system become flawed. Also, how can you be so certain that you aren't missing some of the connections, or that some of the ones you've seen aren't due to coincidences in your experiences, confirmation bias, etc? You seem to be starting off with the assumption that your mind can model everything well enough to consider everything in connection.

    It just makes everything into one big system... it leaves no breathing room. Your system is not centered on yourself and how things apply to you. Wow, that's kind of scary. No wonder you saw all these limitations on yourself, and mixed up ethical beliefs with physical potential for choice, chaining yourself to ideals you'd accepted. If that's what life looks like to you, I guess you couldn't help it.

    I guess the other thing about it, is that it takes a lot of truths that make sense from particular perspectives, and tries to reconcile/flatten them all into a single paradigm that's completely consistent with itself, but not with present reality or any specific situation.

    It also seems like your system forces a certain perspective on truth... that all of it must be universal. It seems to allow little room for situational truths... room to accept and take advantage of things that are true in this specific situation, but wouldn't be true in other, similar situations.
    Aw, gee you're welcome!!!!

    Thank you VERY much for explaining all this. I've been trying to figure out what it is about you, why you see all these things that don't exist for me, why you don't see things that exist for me. You finally expressed a lot of it in a way I could understand.

    :blushing: I'll stop derailing the thread now. Sorry! I was just really curious.

  4. #14
    Diabolical Kasper's Avatar
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    A way for me to clarify my jumbled thoughts, goof around a bit and gain perspective from others. Its a way to express myself, something I dont often do in person.

    The difference between private and public is comfort at having my thoughts out there, whenever possible I'm brutally honest and open in public as insight from others can help but there will always be some things I have to keep for myself.

  5. #15
    Senior Member Moiety's Avatar
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    Me keep a journal? lol, tchya right. I keep telling you guys, whatever your type, your procrastinating skillz are NOTHING compared to mine.

    I actually tried keeping one. Two weeks straight and then nothing more for more than an year.

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