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View Poll Results: Delayed Intelligence?

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  • I suffer from delayed intelligence, too

    9 56.25%
  • Most of the time, I think of what I want to say right on the spot.

    2 12.50%
  • I wish I had delayed intelligence, so maybe my mouth wouldn’t get me into so much trouble.

    4 25.00%
  • Other

    3 18.75%
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  1. #1
    Senior Member INTJMom's Avatar
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    Talking Giving to get - OR - What you sow, so shall you reap?

    T o whomever it was who accused me of "giving to get", last night on Ventrilo,
    my Ni would now like to respond!
    Ni is equivalent to "delayed intelligence".
    That's when you think of the perfect thing to say after it's way too late.

    Anyway, I forgot who you are - darned NT - so I can't send you a PM.
    But you know who you are!

    Back to the point:
    I stated on Ventrilo last night that I was working on sending out 100 Christmas cards
    at the same time that I was online.
    Then someone else said he only sends out a couple of cards.
    Then I explained that the reason I send out so many cards is because I like to receive cards,
    so I figured if I wanted to receive cards, I need to send cards.
    Then someone else said - and you know who you are! -
    that my motivation for sending out Christmas cards was selfish!
    Ha! Well! *feigned indignation* :steam:

    So just for the record I would like to inform you, kind sir,
    that half of the people on my list are elderly relatives and friends of my parents who never reciprocate.
    I send them a card out of the love in my heart,
    knowing that they enjoy hearing from me.
    So there.


    Nevermind.

  2. #2
    Dhampyr Economica's Avatar
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    From Metamorphosis' blog a while back:

    Quote Originally Posted by Metamorphosis View Post
    From work today:

    I accidentally short changed a table $10. Sorry, table, I'm not used to giving change on a meal that's $4 at Chili's. So, I go back to the table.

    Guy: Hey, you only gave me $6 and I gave you a $20.
    Me: Oh, sorry. One second. *walks around corner to get money out* *comes back with $10

    and the table people were talking obviously loud so I can hear, stuff like "Yeah, he wasn't even apologetic, or anything. Ridiculous."

    Me: *thinking...I said sorry, wtf*
    Me: Me?
    Girl: Yeah *angry face*
    Me: It was a legitimate mistake. If I was going to rob you, I'd do it to your face. *walks off*

    *gets left an $8 tip*

    people confuse me so much
    Quote Originally Posted by Economica View Post
    I totally trust you that this is how it actually happened - and I'm delighted to hear it - but it so sounds like the kind of comeback I usually think of only after it's too late (even just by seconds). Every once in a blue moon my timing (and deadpan execution) is just right though. I revel in it afterwards when that happens.

    I'm curious; is it the same for you, or can you boast of a better batting average than mine?
    Quote Originally Posted by Metamorphosis View Post
    You're totally spot on. I have to either be 100% comfortable or just 100% not care to think great responses up in the moment. Otherwise, they only come when it's too late to say it.

  3. #3
    Protocol Droid Athenian200's Avatar
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    That wasn't much of a comeback, honestly. It was simply a rationalization for believing that you are not selfish. I think "It takes one to know one" would have worked better. You could have also questioned the value of being being unselfish, or whether any act is truly unselfish. All you did was agree with the value they presented, and find a way to poke a hole in their reasoning for believing that you violated it.

    I personally think that the person was projecting onto you by accusing you of being selfish. It means that if they did that, it would be because they were selfish. It doesn't mean you were doing it for selfish reasons.

    But I do know what you mean... I've often said something kind of dumb in the moment and then thought of a better response later on. Sometimes I think of it right then at the right time, but not always.

  4. #4
    Senior Member INTJMom's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Athenian200 View Post


    That wasn't much of a comeback, honestly.
    ...
    It wasn't intended to be a comeback.
    Comeback are usually somewhat rude, insulting and hurtful.
    I quit doing that a long time ago.

    But I did want to make the point that there's two sides of the same coin.
    If I sat at home every Christmas griping and complaining and feeling badly about the fact that I hardly get any Christmas cards, when I only sent out 5 cards myself, who's fault is it that I don't get cards?
    It's actually more selfish for me to receive cards, but not reciprocate them.
    It is a well-established principle of life that if you want to reap the benefits of something,
    you're probably going to have to do something to earn it.

    If I want more friends, will they just show up at my door?
    No, I have to make myself friendly, and then I will have friends.

    You're right about everything you said.
    I decided to do this.

  5. #5
    DoubleplusUngoodNonperson
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    Quote Originally Posted by INTJMom View Post

    So just for the record I would like to inform you, kind sir,
    that half of the people on my list are elderly relatives and friends of my parents who never reciprocate.
    I send them a card out of the love in my heart,
    knowing that they enjoy hearing from me.
    So there.
    There's a much better way to rationalize it than that.... You just should have clubbed said NT over the said with Adam Smith's "self-interest is for the greater good based on the social contigencies of man" thing. in fact you can pretty much easily deny selfishness/altruism outright once you interject the maxim that we're a pro-social species.

  6. #6
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    Quote Originally Posted by INTJMom View Post
    Then I explained that the reason I send out so many cards is because I like to receive cards,
    so I figured if I wanted to receive cards, I need to send cards.
    Then someone else said - and you know who you are! -
    that my motivation for sending out Christmas cards was selfish!
    Ha! Well! *feigned indignation* :steam:

    So just for the record I would like to inform you, kind sir,
    that half of the people on my list are elderly relatives and friends of my parents who never reciprocate.
    I send them a card out of the love in my heart,
    knowing that they enjoy hearing from me.
    So there.
    You just proved him/her right. Seriously, is there such a thing as an unselfish act?

    To use your example: you send out some cards to people who you know won't send you one in return, but you describe knowing that they enjoy hearing from you. Unless you can claim that it makes you feel terrible to give them that joy, it is still a selfish act because it makes you feel good too. If you get something positive out of the act it is partially selfish. Nothing wrong with that at all.

    On the topic of delayed intelligence, I often blurt things out on the spot but I also think of great comebacks days later when I replay conversations in my mind.

  7. #7
    Senior Member INTJMom's Avatar
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    So I guess I'm a horrible selfish person.

  8. #8
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    Quote Originally Posted by INTJMom View Post
    So I guess I'm a horrible selfish person.
    Yes, how dare you bring joy into people's lives, you should be ashamed.

    Actually what I was saying is that we are all selfish by nature since we are human and that being a little bit selfish is not a bad thing. If there was never anything it it for us we would stop doing 'it'.

  9. #9
    ByMySword
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    Quote Originally Posted by Economica View Post
    From Metamorphosis' blog a while back:
    Yeah, Meta and I are exactly alike in this instance.

    If I care about the situation, I often am so taken aback that I'm speechless or I overanalyze my responses to make sure they're perfect, but my overanalyzing takes too much time, and I miss my chance for an awesome response.

    If I don't care, its anything goes. In these situations, my responses are solid gold.I've actually started to trigger this mentality even in situations when I do care, so its a development I'm working on perfecting.

    Edit: Hey, I'll admit I'm selfish to a point. I don't care. I don't think its necessarily a bad thing always.

  10. #10
    Protocol Droid Athenian200's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by INTJMom View Post
    So I guess I'm a horrible selfish person.
    No, you're not. The point is that there's no such thing as truly unselfish behavior, thus you shouldn't beat yourself up for doing something that people appreciate just because your motivations might be partially selfish.

    Anyone who tells you otherwise just wants to put you down and be condescending/superior. Please don't believe what they said has any meaning. It doesn't.

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