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  1. #41

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    Quote Originally Posted by whatever View Post
    now we get into the interesting debate between connotative meanings and denotative meanings of words, but I probably shouldn't go there

    Do you tell someone that their new haircut looks like a 3 year old went to town with thier play scissors?

    When you see someone who you really dislike, but who has power over your job, are you nice to them or do you say what you think?

    Do you pretend to be happy when your grandma knits you a sweater in a color and pattern that you loathe for Christmas?

    These things could be construed as hypocrisy- presenting yourself as nicer than you really are- but if people didn't do them all of the sensitive people would continually have thier feelings hurt, and a lot of us wouldn't have jobs

    OK OK I do these things! I'm such a hypocrite for saying I'm a hypocrite.

    I was just being nice to Grandma, bless her heart.

    Here is the truth of the matter. I don't like it when others preach their morals to me and tell me to follow them while living by another set of rules themselves.

    Don't talk to me about connotative meanings, I have an emotional response to that word.

  2. #42
    Senior Member ThatsWhatHeSaid's Avatar
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    I think it's blown out of proportion.

  3. #43
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    I think the main issue I have with the charge of hypocrisy is frequently, people take it to mean something contrary to their values.

    It neglects the fact that there could be other values in higher priority to the person being called the hypocrite.

    We choose the path we wish to operate. Sometimes minimizing pain on others means not telling the truth? E.g. if I turn down a guy who's wooing me because he has a partner. Do I tell the partner if I know he'd return to her if I reject him? What purpose would the truth serve her?

    Things are not always black and white, especially in the realm of relationships. I find the ideal that someone always has to stick to what they say to be considered truthful/not a hypocrite a bit unflexible.

    It neglects the fact that sometimes, you learn more later which could cause you to revise everything you've believed/thought was correct earlier.

    To external eyes, that shift in perception and stand is an example of hypocrisy, but if one does not do that shift, it becomes a lie to yourself too, isn't it.

    So, a hypocrite is merely someone who runs counter to our personal values priority system, no?

  4. #44
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    Quote Originally Posted by aelan View Post
    So, a hypocrite is merely someone who runs counter to our personal values priority system, no?
    No, but most people don't know how to use words very well, so that might be what they mean when they say it.

  5. #45
    Senior Member Silent Stars's Avatar
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    Integrity is one of the most important things to me, and hypocrisy directly contradicts that, so obviously I would have a major problem with it in any form.

  6. #46
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    Quote Originally Posted by Silent Stars View Post
    Integrity is one of the most important things to me...
    When I was a little boy, my chaplain looked at me with wide eyes and said that integrity was a real thing for me. And he was right.

    But as I have grown older, I have seen that integrity has more of a grasp on me than I have on it.

    I don't know where it comes from. And I don't know what it means. To say I am obsessed with integrity would give the wrong impression. It's more I have an iron rod of integrity down my spine.

    I recognise that it is not very realistic and doesn't do me much good, but I am loathe to get rid of it.

    Why am I so attached to it? Or perhaps why is it so attached to me?

    I don't know and I can barely even start to guess at an answer.

    Can you imagine - can you imagine - me going to my therapist and complaining that I suffer from the tyranny of integrity.

    Would she laugh or would she ask how integrity makes me suffer; or perhaps how integrity makes me ridiculous?

  7. #47
    Senior Member Silent Stars's Avatar
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    She'd probably do the last two, though she'd change 'makes you ridiculous' to 'makes you feel ridiculous,' since it's really not an objectively ridiculous thing; it just seems that way because most of the rest of the world doesn't hold those same standards, so it's obviously not going to mesh well.

  8. #48
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    Quote Originally Posted by Silent Stars View Post
    She'd probably do the last two, though she'd change 'makes you ridiculous' to 'makes you feel ridiculous,' since it's really not an objectively ridiculous thing; it just seems that way because most of the rest of the world doesn't hold those same standards, so it's obviously not going to mesh well.
    Dear Silent Stars, would you like to be my therapist?

    You seem to be perceptive and well balanced with social nous.

    Of course you would keep a professional distance as well as a professional curiosity. And we could conduct the therapy here, in the open, on Central.

    And as we live in the attention economy, you would be paid in attention. Not only in my attention but in the attention of all the members.

  9. #49
    Senior Member Silent Stars's Avatar
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    Well....sure! I could certainly try.

    It would probably be better if you made a new thread for that, though, just so we don't hijack this one.

  10. #50
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    Quote Originally Posted by Silent Stars View Post
    Well....sure! I could certainly try.

    It would probably be better if you made a new thread for that, though, just so we don't hijack this thread.
    What should we call it, the Silent Stars Therapy Thread or simply Victor's Therapy, or perhaps a combination of the two?

    And of course, no hypocrisy.

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