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  1. #81
    Broud Balestinian G-Virus's Avatar
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    From the posts of others, I am going to add judgmentalism to my list. I know I have probably done this before and feel so shitty about it, but none of us has the right to judge others. Who knows who is better than who truthfully, and I always try to kick my own ass whenever I start doing this.

  2. #82
    Occasional Member Evan's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by G-Virus View Post
    From the posts of others, I am going to add judgmentalism to my list. I know I have probably done this before and feel so shitty about it, but none of us has the right to judge others. Who knows who is better than who truthfully, and I always try to kick my own ass whenever I start doing this.
    What do you consider "judgmentalism"?

    Making judgments about other people is inescapable. It's necessary. It's even a good thing. If you don't judge the world around you, how can you narrow down the possible decisions you're going to make?

    It's when you become closed off -- when you start looking for reasons to validate your judgment and dismissing reasons that don't -- that it becomes a negative thing.

  3. #83
    Broud Balestinian G-Virus's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by evan View Post
    What do you consider "judgmentalism"?

    Making judgments about other people is inescapable. It's necessary. It's even a good thing. If you don't judge the world around you, how can you narrow down the possible decisions you're going to make?

    It's when you become closed off -- when you start looking for reasons to validate your judgment and dismissing reasons that don't -- that it becomes a negative thing.
    The other day I saw some one go on a two day drinking binge and sleep in the side walk and piss himself and other things of that gross nature. I immedietly said to myself, oh god what a loser. Next thing I know, I meet him at the hospital and it turns out he just finished his M.D. and working their as an Intern in the ER. All this and I called him a loser, so what I am saying is that keep your eye on people, as they go through ups and downs and withhold judgement or keep it flexible, as you do catch people at different points.

    I hope that makes sense.
    Seek freedom and become captive of your desires, seek discipline and find your liberty.

    "If you go looking for something in particular, your chances of finding it are very bad, because of all the things in the world, you're only looking for one of them. If you go looking for anything at all, your chances of finding it are very good, because of all the things in the world, you're sure to find some of them."

  4. #84
    darkened dreams labyrinthine's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by G-Virus View Post
    From the posts of others, I am going to add judgmentalism to my list. I know I have probably done this before and feel so shitty about it, but none of us has the right to judge others. Who knows who is better than who truthfully, and I always try to kick my own ass whenever I start doing this.
    That addresses that whole irony of feeling the need to punish the cruel, feeling superior to the arrogant, intolerant of the intolerant, judging the judgmental, snapping back at rude people, etc. It is so persistent with so many perfect mirror images. It makes for a bit of a brain teaser. How to escape all that?

    One thought I had is that it can help to separate the individual from the behavior, realizing that people are shaped by forces that maybe didn't shape us, that we are flawed (probably even moreso in some people's eyes), and that any impression or conclusion about another person is not absolute.
    Step into my metaphysical room of mirrors.
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    So I guess it means there is trouble until the robins come
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  5. #85
    Occasional Member Evan's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by G-Virus View Post
    The other day I saw some one go on a two day drinking binge and sleep in the side walk and piss himself and other things of that gross nature. I immedietly said to myself, oh god what a loser. Next thing I know, I meet him at the hospital and it turns out he just finished his M.D. and working their as an Intern in the ER. All this and I called him a loser, so what I am saying is that keep your eye on people, as they go through ups and downs and withhold judgement or keep it flexible, as you do catch people at different points.

    I hope that makes sense.
    I feel ya; we agree.

  6. #86
    Broud Balestinian G-Virus's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by toonia View Post
    That addresses that whole irony of feeling the need to punish the cruel, feeling superior to the arrogant, intolerant of the intolerant, judging the judgmental, snapping back at rude people, etc. It is so persistent with so many perfect mirror images. It makes for a bit of a brain teaser. How to escape all that?

    One thought I had is that it can help to separate the individual from the behavior, realizing that people are shaped by forces that maybe didn't shape us, that we are flawed (probably even moreso in some people's eyes), and that any impression or conclusion about another person is not absolute.
    I think that this is why the idea of a God judging others is so attractive. A perfect one to judge all those who are imperfect, seems like a nice copout.
    Seek freedom and become captive of your desires, seek discipline and find your liberty.

    "If you go looking for something in particular, your chances of finding it are very bad, because of all the things in the world, you're only looking for one of them. If you go looking for anything at all, your chances of finding it are very good, because of all the things in the world, you're sure to find some of them."

  7. #87
    mod love baby... Lady_X's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by G-Virus View Post
    The other day I saw some one go on a two day drinking binge and sleep in the side walk and piss himself and other things of that gross nature. I immedietly said to myself, oh god what a loser. Next thing I know, I meet him at the hospital and it turns out he just finished his M.D. and working their as an Intern in the ER. All this and I called him a loser, so what I am saying is that keep your eye on people, as they go through ups and downs and withhold judgement or keep it flexible, as you do catch people at different points.

    I hope that makes sense.
    absolutely...you never know the whole truth of someones situation or what you would do in it.
    There can’t be any large-scale revolution until there’s a personal revolution, on an individual level. It’s got to happen inside first.
    -Jim Morrison

  8. #88
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    "The more intellectually blind a person is, the more dismissive they are of actual accomplishment in others. People are more likely to feel they are the master of their domain so to speak when their perception of that domain is small and easy to comprehend. The more one comprehends about just how big everything is, how many people have gone before and already thought our thoughts and performed our skills, how can a person think they are so unique and above others? It is blindness especially when some knack of thought or skill is all it takes to catapult someone into thinking they are superior to the unwashed masses in any significant way"

    well said

  9. #89
    Senior Member niffer's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by G-Virus View Post
    To me arrogance is the biggest turn off from a person, followed closely by two-facedness and jealousy.

    I just never think that anyone should think of themselves as all high and mighty or holier than though. To do so shows a lack of maturity. It is also intriguing to see how the most accomplished individuals are most of the time the most humble. If you are really the hot shit that you are, people will recognize it without your help.

    I dont say it as if I have never fallen victim to being arrogant, I am sure I have but I think it is really immature.
    Seconded. Especially the pretentiousness that comes with it. I don't mind if it's a dumb jock kind of open boastfulness, but failed attempts to mask it when you are being "subtly" haughty/pretentious are just sad and infuriating.
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  10. #90
    movin melodies kiddykat's Avatar
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    That's so true. We shouldn't judge others so harshly, unless we judge ourselves first. I definitely agree. We're not all perfect. However, the things that turn me off in others are traits or values that are opposite from mine- too toxic to deal with.<- Natural coping mechanism. We tend to like people/situations don't beat us down.

    Atrocious qualities that rub me the wrong way: Vibes I get/or actions that I notice are usually.. cold, 2-faced, dishonest, cruel, narrow-minded, shallow, pretentious, uptight know-it-alls.. it's this venomous feeling I get from them that turn me off. Makes me want to keep my distance. No how many times I tell myself to not judge, their consistent & persistent actions/attitudes start to consume me- I can't help it but to find myself turned off, and seek avoidance.

    Just from my observations- I also think that arrogance stems from insecurity. For instance, take truly intelligent, brainiac people as an example- they're too busy to walk around and boast about themselves. They're too preoccupied in their own worlds that they really don't have the time to walk around and put others down in order to place themselves on pedestals. In fact, they tend to be oblivious and drowned in their own thinking and imagination, and take interest in others' ideas when it strikes a chord to their own reoccurring thoughts. They tend to be happy/humble. Last thing they would do is to condescend in order to make themselves feel better about who they are. Why should they, when they don't feel a need to compensate. They're too busy just being who they truly *are*. That's what I notice.

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