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  1. #1
    heart on fire
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    Default Elderly Are Also Equal Adults!

    Quote Originally Posted by FineLine View Post
    I'm not into kids, pets, and very old people. If I can't relate to them as adult equals, then I tend not to want to invest time in them. Or I resent them for requiring more attention or effort from me than they're giving back to me.

    FL
    The wording of this statement really irks me. This is a prime example of why the elderly are not respected in our culture and often not treated as *equal adults* with the same rights as other adults. How arrogant to be able to say that if a person moves slower, either physically or mentally than a 50 something year old then they are not "equally adult" or something. We've got this mindset that they all have dementia and are into their second childhood or something.

    It is the equating someone as being as active and functional as you "adult equal" that gives me the issue. If you had just simply said that you can't relate to people who aren't as wonderful and blessed with health and vigor as you then I probably could have passed the post by without remarking.
    Last edited by heart; 07-15-2007 at 01:49 AM.

  2. #2
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    Quote Originally Posted by heart View Post
    The wording of this statement really irks me. This is a prime example of why the elderly are not respected in our culture and often not treated as *equal adults* with the same rights as other adults. How arrogant to be able to say that if a person moves slower, either physically or mentally than a 50 something year old then they are not "equally adult" or something. We've got this mindset that they all have dementia and are into their second childhood or something.

    It is the equating someone as being as active and functional as you "adult equal" that gives me the issue. If you had just simply said that you can't relate to people who aren't as wonderful and blessed with health and vigor as you then I probably could have passed the post by without remarking.
    I agree. I was talking about the ones who are so old that they've gone more than a little foggy. I'm over 50 myself, so when I said "very old" I meant very old.

    I should have clarified. Basically I meant that if I have to talk "baby talk" to someone in order to relate to them (toddlers, pets, and the very senile).

    FL

    [Edit:] By the way, keep in mind that this started as a rant thread. There's a tongue-in-cheek element to what gets posted here (or there was yesterday, anyway; things seem to have turned more serious today).

  3. #3
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    The term "very senile" is a very different statement than "very, very old" and that's was got to me.

    I hate when people baby talk mildly demented elderly. They treat them like they are children and they aren't children. They are adults who already put in their time and are due respect as equal adults even if they need more time to understand what the people around them are saying. They are not children, but adults with physical disabilities and I wish more people looked at it like that.

    Then there was the ignoramus at the mall back when my Dad was alive and I was caring for him. Some guy in his early 50's. I was out with my Dad on a Friday night to get an ice cream at the food court and watch the people go by. Dad moved very slow after his stroke. We were making our way to a table and this 50 something ignoramus puts his hand out as if to stop us and looks at my Dad and starts laughing and then asks: "Are you out for your weekly walk or something? Looks like you should have started out yesterday!" He and his wife then turned to each other and started laughing.

    My Dad looked like he was going to cry and asked "Well...What did that guy mean?"

    I said "Don't worry, he is just some insecure jerk who cannot face the prospect of his coming old age."

    That guy had the gall to glare at me and then said "Can't you take a joke?". Yeah, I just love jokes told at the expense of the weaker and helpless to stave off the fears of the able bodied. JERK.

  4. #4
    shoshaku jushaku rivercrow's Avatar
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    Once Boomers hit their 70s and have to start facing reality -- I don't think we can build them back better, stronger faster, thank god this body wears out eventually -- then the focus will turn from younguns to elder care.

    For instance.

    A couple years ago, the local department of transportation decided to work on a road near me. There is an assisted living home on that road; both elderly and "needs assistance" folks live there. (A step-son of a former co-worker does, too.) Many of those who use wheelchairs will go up to the local grocery store. This is an important activity--everyone needs to feel some control over their lives.

    The DoT tore up the sidewalk and connecting ramps around the home, slapped some very rudimentary, gravelly, unlevel replacements in. Then, the construction (destruction?) moved to a different section, leaving the place a shambles. (I think three or four sections of the same one mile strip were fucked up at the same time, with no visible work on any of them for weeks.

    One day on the way home, I watched an 80+ old gal in a power chair sway and bobble across the "sidewalk," into the street (!!), and down these lumpy ramps. She had groceries in a plastic bag strapped to the back of her chair and I was terrified she was going to pitch right out of the chair.

    I immediately contacted the DoT and tracked down the "project manager" for this piece of work. I got the section reprioritized and finished in a week or two. Having several sections of the same road destroyed is bad enough for the drivers without causing any additional hardship.
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  5. #5
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    Quote Originally Posted by rivercrow View Post
    Once Boomers hit their 70s and have to start facing reality -- I don't think we can build them back better, stronger faster, thank god this body wears out eventually -- then the focus will turn from younguns to elder care.
    You are probably right about that. I can help but be jealous of that because when I was helping my Dad, everything was such a BATTLE and even medical people being so clueless about how to deal with disability in an older person with respect and letting them keep some diginity. I think for so many people their own fears of what they might have to deal with in the future paralyzes their wits.

    The incident I was talking about the 50 something dude happened back in 1998 so he might be more sympathetic in dealing with more issues by now, depends on his genetics I guess.

    Hey, good for you that you got that sidewalk fixed! Such a little thing to make such a big difference in so many lives.

  6. #6
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    Quote Originally Posted by FineLine View Post
    [Edit:] By the way, keep in mind that this started as a rant thread. There's a tongue-in-cheek element to what gets posted here (or there was yesterday, anyway; things seem to have turned more serious today).
    I hope you understand that I was directing my comment to your wording and not you personally.

    If you had simply said "very senile" as opposed to "very, very old" I would not have had the same objections. Not all people who are very, very old are senile and not all people who require a person to slow down when speaking are senile either.

  7. #7
    にゃん runvardh's Avatar
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    I try to give everyone a blanket about of respect with out basis on age; thing is it's up to them to gain or lose it, again unrelated to age. Demands of unwarranted respect tends to be met with civility proportional to the setting at the time. I may hate a person's method of operation, but that doesn't mean everyone needs to suffer for an ignoramus' sins...
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  8. #8
    shoshaku jushaku rivercrow's Avatar
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    From the ChildFree rant thread ... to the other end of life.
    Who rises in the morning, looks in the mirror and says, "I think I will do something stupid today?" -- James Hollis
    If people never did silly things nothing intelligent would ever get done. -- Ludwig Wittgenstein
    Whaling is illegal in Oklahoma.

  9. #9
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    Quote Originally Posted by runvardh View Post
    I try to give everyone a blanket about of respect with out basis on age; thing is it's up to them to gain or lose it, again unrelated to age. Demands of unwarranted respect tends to be met with civility proportional to the setting at the time. I may hate a person's method of operation, but that doesn't mean everyone needs to suffer for an ignoramus' sins...
    When I say "respect" I mean as fellow adults. I hate when people start being disrespectful or condesending to someone just because they speak slower or move slower. It is not really a sign of what is going on inside of them.

    We're all going to age and that's just part of being human.

  10. #10
    にゃん runvardh's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by heart View Post
    When I say "respect" I mean as fellow adults. I hate when people start being disrespectful or condesending to someone just because they speak slower or move slower. It is not really a sign of what is going on inside of them.

    We're all going to age and that's just part of being human.
    Yeah, I'm waiting for the day when my dad is in a nursing home, causing them trouble because he's trying to help someone else. Then I laugh when I think I might cause the same trouble, ^_^.
    Dreams are best served manifest and tangible.

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