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  1. #361
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jennifer View Post
    Are you admiring me or manipulating me?

    This seems like a limited interpretation of the scenario.
    You sound like you badly got hurt by a woman in your life.
    I don't admire you because you always go for the shallow solution.

  2. #362
    @.~*virinaĉo*~.@ Totenkindly's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Victor View Post
    I don't admire you because you always go for the shallow solution.
    I do?

    I admire you anyway, you're quite abstractedly brilliant; but when you say stupid things like this and blame it on me, it rather pisses me off.
    "Hey Capa -- We're only stardust." ~ "Sunshine"

    “Pleasure to me is wonder—the unexplored, the unexpected, the thing that is hidden and the changeless thing that lurks behind superficial mutability. To trace the remote in the immediate; the eternal in the ephemeral; the past in the present; the infinite in the finite; these are to me the springs of delight and beauty.” ~ H.P. Lovecraft

  3. #363
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    Quote Originally Posted by Silent Stars View Post
    hmm....I've never told a girl not to cry. I usually just end up crying with them. lol
    This is the perfect way to undermine a women's anger - cry with her.

    It is completely subversive.

    And it is unconsciously hostile to the woman.

    If you love the woman, see through her tears to her anger and let her know you will listen to her anger.

    Most of us are too afraid to listen to a woman's anger, but you will be doing her a very good turn if you can put aside your fear for a while and listen to her anger.

    She will very likely tear strips of you, but don't take it personally - just remember you love her.

    There is no courage without fear and it takes courage to listen to a woman's anger rather than cry with her.

    And women love courageous men.

  4. #364
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jennifer View Post
    I do?

    I admire you anyway, you're quite abstractedly brilliant; but when you say stupid things like this and blame it on me, it rather pisses me off.
    So Jennifer, you are angry at me for saying stupid things and blaming it on you.

    Is that correct?

  5. #365
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    I can see what you're saying Victor about tears and anger... to add my own tuppence worth, I think that anger itself means different things for men and women - in society generally, women are not encouraged to feel or express anger, their role is traditionally one of peacemaking and nurturing, and angry women who show their anger are seen negatively, as unfeminine.

    Conversely, men are expected to show anger, in fact, and it's associated with general manliness.

    Maybe this could be why a woman cries when she's angry - she's upset at herself for BEING angry at all, so this is why the two emotions of anger and sadness are always associated. Whilst for men, it's silly to cry when you're angry because you've every right to be angry - you're a man and you're showing your strength by confronting whatever it is with your anger. There's no guilt involved like there is for the woman.

    Stereotypically speaking, of course.
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  6. #366
    Senior Member Silent Stars's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Victor View Post
    This is the perfect way to undermine a women's anger - cry with her.

    It is completely subversive.

    And it is unconsciously hostile to the woman.

    If you love the woman, see through her tears to her anger and let her know you will listen to her anger.

    Most of us are too afraid to listen to a woman's anger, but you will be doing her a very good turn if you can put aside your fear for a while and listen to her anger.

    She will very likely tear strips of you, but don't take it personally - just remember you love her.

    There is no courage without fear and it takes courage to listen to a woman's anger rather than cry with her.

    And women love courageous men.
    I don't cry on purpose, I can't help it...it just happens in those situations because I have such a strong sense of empathy. I am an INFJ, after all.

    And as for the last part of what you said, I do both.

  7. #367
    Senior Member Anja's Avatar
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    Anger is a somewhat deceptive emotion in that it usually masks another, more painful, emotion underneath it. Often when a woman cries and says she's angry what she is really expressing is hurt.
    "No ray of sunshine is ever lost, but the green which it awakes into existence needs time to sprout, and it is not always granted to the sower to see the harvest. All work that is worth anything is done in faith." - Albert Schweitzer

  8. #368
    The High Priestess Amargith's Avatar
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    Dunno about the other galz here, but for me crying is a way to release the stress my frustration and anger are causing. I also have the same reaction after being incredibly stressed about something and suddenly that stress is relieved. Can't really help it...
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  9. #369
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    ...I think this might also be why female emotions just seem much more complex, why they seem to always be feeling more than one thing at a time - I think the expectations of what a woman is "alllowed" to feel are much narrower, so whenever she does feel something outside of those parameters then all the value judgements of female society come attached to it, causing her to judge herself and become thereby confused - you have anger, disappointment at yourself for being angry, sadness at the "loss" of your womanhood, your failure to live up to expectations of your social role, confusion at how this can be when you feel sure that you have been wronged and that anger is a natural response, worry about whether this means you will continue to be accepted as a woman... all these things mingle in all the time, whereas for a man, it seems more acceptable to simply feel what he feels and bulldoze the world on account of it.

    Except when it comes to sadness... sadness seems to denote attachment to something, needing something, and since independence and detachment are valued in males and signs of masculinity, anything that suggests weakness or vulnerability or dependence on something, threatens that masculinity or the role the man is expected to play. So I think men might attach fear to sadness in a way that women wouldn't, being "allowed" to cry and attach to things in a way men are not. ...and then with fear being also an emotion men are not allowed to show, these things translate into frustration which then distills into anger. And you're allowed to show anger, you're a man. So... yeah, maybe in fact, anger in males can denote just as complex an emotional process as tears in females. Sorry yeah, I'm thinking aloud as I type lol

    Again, stereotypically, traditionally speaking. Of course, it's all horse shit.

    edit - scrap the bold part - it's not that they're narrower, they're just different, it's just as narrow for men but different parameters.
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  10. #370
    Senior Member Silent Stars's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Amargith View Post
    Dunno about the other galz here, but for me crying is a way to release the stress my frustration and anger are causing. I also have the same reaction after being incredibly stressed about something and suddenly that stress is relieved. Can't really help it...
    Yeah, I'm the same way.

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