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  1. #341
    & Badger, Ratty and Toad Mole's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jennifer View Post
    Until about 1 second later, when the thought came to mind: "Tell that to the child whose mom just beat the dickens out of him with a rolling pin, rather than just withdrawing and getting depressed."

    Sigh.

    Realism hits idealism head-on.
    Realism wins.
    Men are trained to deal with anger in a conscious and enlivening way.

    I was trained to deal with my anger in a socially enlivening way by playing football for many years.

    And I was trained to control and use my anger constructively through amateur boxing.

    I know of no woman who has played football and boxed.

    And yet I know women, like yourself, who feel frustrated and angry but are only able to express their anger destructively.

  2. #342
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    Quote Originally Posted by Synarch View Post
    Boredom is rage spread thin.
    Good on you Synarch, this is a very good point.

  3. #343
    @.~*virinaĉo*~.@ Totenkindly's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Victor View Post
    I think you should have stopped there as it is very nice to be admired.
    Is that what it's like to be a guy?

    (Sorry, had to tie this all back in! )

    Quote Originally Posted by Victor View Post
    Men are trained to deal with anger in a conscious and enlivening way.

    I was trained to deal with my anger in a socially enlivening way by playing football for many years.

    And I was trained to control and use my anger constructively through amateur boxing.

    I know of no woman who has played football and boxed.

    And yet I know women, like yourself, who feel frustrated and angry but are only able to express their anger destructively.
    Um.... I don't know what Australia is like, but I am pretty sure the experience here in the States is that it is predominately the men who commit the violent crimes (even if female crime is on the rise), men who are far more physically abusive of their female spouses and children, and men who do not know how to constructively handle their anger in comparison to women. It's such common knowledge, I don't remember the last time I heard someone try to assert the opposite.

    Another case where realism trumps theory.
    "Hey Capa -- We're only stardust." ~ "Sunshine"

    “Pleasure to me is wonder—the unexplored, the unexpected, the thing that is hidden and the changeless thing that lurks behind superficial mutability. To trace the remote in the immediate; the eternal in the ephemeral; the past in the present; the infinite in the finite; these are to me the springs of delight and beauty.” ~ H.P. Lovecraft

  4. #344
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jennifer View Post
    Is that what it's like to be a guy?

    (Sorry, had to tie this all back in! )
    Fortunately you like to be admired just as I like to be admired.

    So all we need to do is find what we admire in each other.

  5. #345
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    Quote Originally Posted by Victor View Post
    Fortunately you like to be admired just as I like to be admired.

    So all we need to do is find what we admire in each other.
    Do you have big mus-kles? Hmmm....

    *bats eyes*
    "Hey Capa -- We're only stardust." ~ "Sunshine"

    “Pleasure to me is wonder—the unexplored, the unexpected, the thing that is hidden and the changeless thing that lurks behind superficial mutability. To trace the remote in the immediate; the eternal in the ephemeral; the past in the present; the infinite in the finite; these are to me the springs of delight and beauty.” ~ H.P. Lovecraft

  6. #346
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jennifer View Post
    Um.... I don't know what Australia is like, but I am pretty sure the experience here in the States is that it is predominately the men who commit the violent crimes (even if female crime is on the rise), men who are far more physically abusive of their female spouses and children, and men who do not know how to constructively handle their anger in comparison to women. It's such common knowledge, I don't remember the last time I heard someone try to assert the opposite.

    Another case where realism trumps theory.
    Yes, Jennifer, you are quite right.

    Men bully physically.

    While women bully emotionally.

    If you doubt this, read, "Odd Girl Out", by Rachel Simmons.

    And while men engage in physical bullying, women engage in emotional group bullying.

    Emotional group bullying is immediately emotionally painful and does long term psychological damage.

    And emotional group bullying is easy to conceal and almost impossible to stop.

    You can stop male bullying by simply standing up to the bully.

    But if you stand up to female emotional group bullying, it only make it worse.

    The advantage of female bullying is its deniability.

  7. #347
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jennifer View Post
    Do you have big mus-kles? Hmmm....

    *bats eyes*
    I like to be admired, not manipulated.

    Just like you.

  8. #348
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    Men bully emotionally. It's usually just the threat of violence or submission.
    "Create like a god, command like a king, work like a slave."

  9. #349
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    And quite often a woman's tears are emotional bullying.

    And these tears give a double message - the first is, comfort me - and the second is, I am going to emotionally hurt you.

    No wonder the man is confused and doesn't know what to do, so quite reasonably, he asks her not to cry.

  10. #350
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    Quote Originally Posted by Victor View Post
    And quite often a woman's tears are emotional bullying.

    And these tears give a double message - the first is, comfort me - and the second is, I am going to emotionally hurt you.

    No wonder the man is confused and doesn't know what to do, so quite reasonably, he asks her not to cry.
    God, you're cynical. What happened?
    "Create like a god, command like a king, work like a slave."

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