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  1. #271
    Senior Member millerm277's Avatar
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    i can do anything i want and probably make it look easy.
    Well said.

    Quote Originally Posted by Mondo View Post
    It's to be a guy.
    There isn't as much drama involved as there seems to be for women.
    Agreed. I have not fought, or even had a disagreement that lasted longer than an hour or two, with any friends of mine in years. (Actually, for that matter....with anyone).
    I-95%, S-84%, T-89%, P-84%

  2. #272

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    Hard.



    Bwahahahahahahahaha. K sorry. That was lame. I'm so going now.

    *holds stomach on the way out*
    "The purpose of life is to be defeated by greater and greater things." - Rainer Maria Rilke

  3. #273
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    Well this was an interesting read. But dammit I always miss out on the good threads.

  4. #274
    Senior Member substitute's Avatar
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    Something that's happened recently at the home educating families' group locally has prompted me to write something in preparation to address the committee in protest against the boys at the group meetings constantly being told off for play fighting, and against the automatic assumption that when the boys do this, it's a negative thing that should be discouraged, or that to allow them or encourage them to do it would be to encourage them to violent and aggressive behaviour.

    So I thought I'd copy some of my notes into here, since it seems pertinent.

    Thing is, Iím thinking most kids go to school, right? And they spend most of the day around kids their own age, and they have long break times where they go out and play. Iím thinking particularly boys here, but it can go for girls too I guess. The kids run around like lunatics in the playground, they have play fights, contests, clubs and all sorts, itís just a pretty normal part of growing up and experimenting socially with what works and negotiating their place in the world, I think, and especially with the boys, knowing as I do how much of a difference testosterone makes to a personís energy levels, they really do need that time to run around and get it out of their system. In the case of home ed kids, they donít get as much time around other kids as they would at school Ė or in a society where kids didnít go to school as a normal thing, like say a hundred years ago or something, theyíd still see a lot more of other kids, playing in the fields, out in the streets, that sort of thing, than they do nowadays with people being much more protective over their kids, and urban life generally meaning that kids are ferried in cars to arranged things, and thereís a lot less skittles/bike riding/whatever in the streetsÖ

    So, especially for the boys who have no brothers or none of a similar age to them, it can be really frustrating, you have all this energy bottling up and nothing to do with it either because of social/cultural reasons or just the weather or, like my kids, you donít have a garden to play in and by the time the other kids come home from school itís dark outside anyway. Having experienced myself 25 years of my life running on estrogen and then the last 6 or so on testosterone, I know it makes a HUGE difference to your energy levels and not only that, but emotionally youíre completely different. Beforehand, my emotions were far less intense but much more complex Ė I could feel a dozen things at once and the difficulty of dealing with them came from having to spend time communing with them as it were, to try to find out and identify all the different ones and how they interacted with each other, what caused them etc etc. But since Iíve been having doses of testosterone injected every 2 weeks itís a different story. There is a MUCH smaller actual range of emotions, for a start Ė Iím far less able to attune to them as well, so itís not as obvious to me (even if it is to others) when Iím feeling something. And when I *do* feel something, itís generally much more intense. The range of emotions tends to be: anger, fear, jealousy, happiness, sadness, lust. That seems to be about it. And I very rarely feel more than one at a time. The more extreme a situation is, it doesnít make me feel more emotions, but just intensifies the one or two at most that I do feel.

    If you imagine an analogy could be something like, before I had testosterone, emotions were like a rainbow full of dozens of shades of colours all melding into each other all the time and crossing and mixing over, wrapping round me and pretty obvious so I couldnít really ignore them. But now, itís more like one of those animť cartoons, where you see the character jump up in the air and behind him thereís just this rush of intense, rich colour, rarely more than two colours, that speeds uncontrollably along with him as he moves, but always behind him, so he canít see it himself without consciously trying, though anyone facing him can see them, usually. And I think thatís one of the reasons why men do tend to bottle up their feelings more Ė because you have to, when theyíre so intense and sorta, you know, itís likeÖ well, basically I can see how entire countries have been laid completely waste by ruthless war because this is what male emotions want you to do, itís how they make you feel. The only way to not destroy yourself and everyone around you is to learn to control and repress them. Bit like Vulcans, not just repressing them but for the same reasons the Vulcans do, because theyíre just not as manageable as humansí lol or in this case, womenís, you donít have the wherewithal to manage them! lol

    So, when guys bullshit around and have their competitive banter and playfight and get into competitive games, itís basically a really necessary catharsis for this sort of stuff, itís the most harmless and constructive way for men to be able to keep on top of their emotions, an outlet that doesnít result in scorched earth!

    So Iím thinking, especially for home ed boys, where they donít get to blow it all off in the playground two or three times a day with other boys who get it and know what itís about, it seems a bit harsh to tell them at one of the few places they get the chance to do this, that they have to sit around like little girls playing with dollies and drawing pretty pictures LOL I donít think itís fair on the boys and I donít think it would in the long term have the desired effect of discouraging violent or aggressive behaviour. When boys muck around like that theyíre not really being aggressive or violent, though it might look that way to someone who doesnít get itÖ theyíre actually helping each other work through their emotions, strange as it might seem.
    Ils se dÔŅĹmerdent, les mecs: trop bon, trop con..................................MY BLOG!

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  5. #275
    meh Salomé's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by substitute View Post
    I know it makes a HUGE difference to your energy levels and not only that, but emotionally youíre completely different. Beforehand, my emotions were far less intense but much more complex Ė I could feel a dozen things at once and the difficulty of dealing with them came from having to spend time communing with them as it were, to try to find out and identify all the different ones and how they interacted with each other, what caused them etc etc. But since Iíve been having doses of testosterone injected every 2 weeks itís a different story. There is a MUCH smaller actual range of emotions, for a start Ė Iím far less able to attune to them as well, so itís not as obvious to me (even if it is to others) when Iím feeling something. And when I *do* feel something, itís generally much more intense. The range of emotions tends to be: anger, fear, jealousy, happiness, sadness, lust.
    How fascinating! You have a unique perspective on this. I wonder if this is true universally? Have you spoken to other people with similar experiences?
    Quote Originally Posted by Ivy View Post
    Gosh, the world looks so small from up here on my high horse of menstruation.

  6. #276
    Senior Member substitute's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by bluemonday View Post
    How fascinating! You have a unique perspective on this. I wonder if this is true universally? Have you spoken to other people with similar experiences?
    yeah, they mostly say the same things.
    Ils se dÔŅĹmerdent, les mecs: trop bon, trop con..................................MY BLOG!

    "When it all comes down to dust
    I will kill you if I must
    I will help you if I can" - Leonard Cohen

  7. #277
    „Āę„āÉ„āď runvardh's Avatar
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    substitute, you're really making me think about seeing the doctor...
    Dreams are best served manifest and tangible.

    INFP, 6w7, IEI

    I accept no responsibility, what so ever, for the fact that I exist; I do, however, accept full responsibility for what I do while I exist.

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  8. #278
    meh Salomé's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by substitute View Post
    yeah, they mostly say the same things.
    This explains everything. It's all testosterone's fault! You need to write a book... at least.
    Quote Originally Posted by Ivy View Post
    Gosh, the world looks so small from up here on my high horse of menstruation.

  9. #279
    @.~*virinańČo*~.@ Totenkindly's Avatar
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    Female emotional states are definitely far more complicated and nuanced.

    Quote Originally Posted by runvardh View Post
    substitute, you're really making me think about seeing the doctor...
    lol, maybe sub can share a few T shots with ya.
    "Hey Capa -- We're only stardust." ~ "Sunshine"

    ‚ÄúPleasure to me is wonder‚ÄĒthe unexplored, the unexpected, the thing that is hidden and the changeless thing that lurks behind superficial mutability. To trace the remote in the immediate; the eternal in the ephemeral; the past in the present; the infinite in the finite; these are to me the springs of delight and beauty.‚ÄĚ ~ H.P. Lovecraft

  10. #280
    Senior Member substitute's Avatar
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    It's generalized runvardh... there's always variation between individuals, but what I say nonetheless I do think holds true, generally, in most cases I mean.

    Jennifer, yeah, i guess you're getting it the other way round huh?

    Bluemonday - nah, other people already have, way better. They finished them and everything.
    Ils se dÔŅĹmerdent, les mecs: trop bon, trop con..................................MY BLOG!

    "When it all comes down to dust
    I will kill you if I must
    I will help you if I can" - Leonard Cohen

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