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  1. #1
    Senior Member Bella's Avatar
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    Default Loved, Liked or Understood?

    Someone once, very sincerely, said that he understood me, and it was so wonderful a moment I nearly fainted and fell off my chair. (It was platonic and he wasn't trying to get me to shag him)
    Up till now, his words have had more impact on me than "I love you" or "I like you"

    "I love you" - meh - mothers can love without liking or understanding, and what's the use in that? (For me at least)

    "I like you" - it's not too bad I suppose, I'm still deciding if it's better than 'understand', but I doubt it.

    I think if you're understood by someone, you'll most likely be liked anyway. In my humble opinion.

    So which one of the three do you/would you prefer to hear. You can pick one or you can arrange them in order of importance.
    (And I suppose someone will say that they'll want to hear different things depending on whether it's a platonic or romantic relationship - go ahead.)
    yesiknowimamiserablegrouchnowgoawayovmeleor

    It's Mizzz ST, thank you...

  2. #2
    On a mission Usehername's Avatar
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    Probably "understood"; however, it's hard to say because I already have needs met knowing that there are people in my life that love me.
    *You don't have a soul. You are a Soul. You have a body.
    *Faith is the art of holding on to things your reason once accepted, despite your changing moods.
    C.S. Lewis

  3. #3
    mod love baby... Lady_X's Avatar
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    understood...loved and liked
    and i agree....anybody can like you...many can love you but very few will really ever understand you

  4. #4
    Earth Exalted Thursday's Avatar
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    to be understood is to be loved.
    the person(s) may not be so affectionate towards you, but it is being acknowledged for who you are that is most gratifying and scarce.

    Not to mention that being liked is a bit self-indulgent, and evanescent.
    I N V I C T U S

  5. #5
    Senior Member LindseyLadybug's Avatar
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    I think when I heard this story, it really made the distinction clear.

    There was a rabbi who said that he had discovered the meaning of love from a drunken peasant. The rabbi was visiting the owner of a tavern in the countryside. As he walked in, he saw two peasants at a table; both were gloriously inebriated. Arms around each other, they were protesting how much each loved the other. Suddenly Ivan said to Peter, "Peter, tell me, what hurts me?"

    Bleary-eyed, Peter looked at Ivan, "How do I know what hurts you?"

    Ivans answer was sharp and swift, "If you dont know what hurts me, how can you say you love me?"


    *Understood
    *Loved
    *Liked

    If someone tells me they love me yet doesn't even try to understand me, I have a hard time believing their love is sincere. However, if someone tells me they understood me (and I know they truly do), I would know they love me because otherwise they wouldn't care enough to take the time to try and understand me. Like is pretty broad...it doesn't mean much to me.

  6. #6
    / booyalab's Avatar
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    I don't want people to say "I understand you." because 1. they can't understand me as a person 2. They can understand specific things I say, but I can already tell from their responses. If the comprehension evident in their responses contradicts their claim that they comprehend me. I'm just going to get annoyed and wonder if they think I'm stupid.
    I would like to hear "I like you", though. I can't usually tell.
    I don't wanna!

  7. #7
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    Most of all, I'd like to be in a position where people don't understand me but who are curious about me and try to understand me.

  8. #8
    Senior Member millerm277's Avatar
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    Hmm. I'd say understand. (assuming I agree that they do.), because I take a very long time to figure out, and it does require a lot of thinking to understand my motives and the way I typically think. Which isn't to say that someone will understand every little thing I do, because I don't even know why I do some things, but to understand my actions, goals and thought process.

    "Like" doesn't mean much, too vague. "Love" is good, but "Understand" carries more weight for me.
    I-95%, S-84%, T-89%, P-84%

  9. #9
    @.~*virinaĉo*~.@ Totenkindly's Avatar
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    I think I feel most loved and liked when I first feel that I'm known and understood.

    (I have people who say they like me or love me... but it leaves me sort of "meh" if there is no connection of being understood. I mean, I can value it as a sign of commitment from them -- but until I feel they understand me, I feel no decent connect.)
    "Hey Capa -- We're only stardust." ~ "Sunshine"

    “Pleasure to me is wonder—the unexplored, the unexpected, the thing that is hidden and the changeless thing that lurks behind superficial mutability. To trace the remote in the immediate; the eternal in the ephemeral; the past in the present; the infinite in the finite; these are to me the springs of delight and beauty.” ~ H.P. Lovecraft

  10. #10
    Senior Member niffer's Avatar
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    You may love me or like me, but there is no connection until you understand me. Once knowledge about me has been exposed, once somebody has awareness of my wheres and whys and hows...then I am human. I am validated. That is the best feeling ever.
    sparkly sparkly rainbow excretions

    Quote Originally Posted by ThatGirl View Post
    holy shit am I a feeler?
    if you like my avatar, it's because i took it myself! : D

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