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  1. #31
    Senior Member ceecee's Avatar
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    Being understood and accepted was more important than love for me. Or even being liked. When it all came from the same person it was more powerful than I can express.

  2. #32
    On a mission Usehername's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by millerm277 View Post
    In my case, it pretty much does. In order to "understand" me, it takes spending a lot of time with me, and also me being comfortable enough with someone to open up a bit. By that point, it can be pretty sure that they accept me anyway.
    What about someone who puts in the time to do this, but then once they understand you, they decide they don't like or love you?

    They still understand you, but it would probably hurt even worse because their rejection comes from being "in the know" of your true self.
    *You don't have a soul. You are a Soul. You have a body.
    *Faith is the art of holding on to things your reason once accepted, despite your changing moods.
    C.S. Lewis

  3. #33
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    Quote Originally Posted by Usehername View Post
    What about someone who puts in the time to do this, but then once they understand you, they decide they don't like or love you?

    They still understand you, but it would probably hurt even worse because their rejection comes from being "in the know" of your true self.
    Yeah, they didn't love you, they loved their ideal. Of course.

    The important thing is, if you're liked or loved minus understanding, it's false affection.

  4. #34
    On a mission Usehername's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jack Flak View Post
    Yeah, they didn't love you, they loved their ideal. Of course.

    The important thing is, if you're liked or loved minus understanding, it's false affection.
    The bolded is clearly true, but unless I'm misinterpreting your sentence, I don't see how what I stated previously is wrong.

    If x person puts in the time and effort to get to know y person, assuming y person allowed enough relating to happen for x person to "understand" it's still very possible to have x person not like or love y person.
    *You don't have a soul. You are a Soul. You have a body.
    *Faith is the art of holding on to things your reason once accepted, despite your changing moods.
    C.S. Lewis

  5. #35
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    Quote Originally Posted by Usehername View Post
    The bolded is clearly true, but unless I'm misinterpreting your sentence, I don't see how what I stated previously is wrong.

    If x person puts in the time and effort to get to know y person, assuming y person allowed enough relating to happen for x person to "understand" it's still very possible to have x person not like or love y person.
    Did I say it was wrong? No, and this is most likely because I didn't disagree with it whatsoever.

  6. #36
    On a mission Usehername's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jack Flak View Post
    Did I say it was wrong? No, and this is most likely because I didn't disagree with it whatsoever.
    Ahh. I read your first statement as if there was eye rolling, which I didn't understand.
    *You don't have a soul. You are a Soul. You have a body.
    *Faith is the art of holding on to things your reason once accepted, despite your changing moods.
    C.S. Lewis

  7. #37
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    Quote Originally Posted by Usehername View Post
    Ahh. I read your first statement as if there was eye rolling, which I didn't understand.
    Naturally. Your failure to perceive intent in my posts has been consistent.

  8. #38
    On a mission Usehername's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jack Flak View Post
    Naturally. Your failure to perceive intent in my posts has been consistent.
    That's because you explicitly say things such as, "I don't like you." Stating,
    Of course.
    in a short sentence when you're only communicating through text and you've told me you don't like me makes this a very plausible conclusion. If it was anyone else stating it, I wouldn't have questioned it.

    And btw, the opposite is true--you fail to perceive my intent in my posts all the time. You're certain that because you hate me and we've had a fair history of disagreements that I must hate you. I don't.
    *You don't have a soul. You are a Soul. You have a body.
    *Faith is the art of holding on to things your reason once accepted, despite your changing moods.
    C.S. Lewis

  9. #39
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    Quote Originally Posted by Usehername View Post
    That's because you explicitly say things such as, "I don't like you." Stating, in a short sentence when you're only communicating through text and you've told me you don't like me makes this a very plausible conclusion. If it was anyone else stating it, I wouldn't have questioned it.
    "I don't like you" was indeed stated explicitly, so there would be no misunderstanding. It doesn't mean that every one of my posts on the forum after that post has the hidden meaning of "I don't like you" as well. It's already understood. There's little point in re-stating it constantly.

    And btw, the opposite is true--you fail to perceive my intent in my posts all the time. You're certain that because you hate me and we've had a fair history of disagreements that I must hate you. I don't.
    But here you go again. I haven't thought you hated me, so you are wrong again. I recommend you no longer attempt to perceive intent in my posts.

  10. #40
    On a mission Usehername's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jack Flak View Post
    "I don't like you" was indeed stated explicitly, so there would be no misunderstanding. It doesn't mean that every one of my posts on the forum after that post has the hidden meaning of "I don't like you" as well. It's already understood. There's little point in re-stating it constantly.


    But here you go again. I haven't thought you hated me, so you are wrong again. I recommend you no longer attempt to perceive intent in my posts.
    This only works if our interaction can be tactful and respectful, because if you don't like me it's logical to assume there are going to be sarcastic remarks here and there (which is difficult to read over the 'net). I wasn't aware we were both operating under this standard of mutual tact. Is this the standard between us? Because then I won't be misreading so many of your posts.

    If so, then that works well. I expect use of the eye-rolling smiley when I'm supposed to read intent.
    *You don't have a soul. You are a Soul. You have a body.
    *Faith is the art of holding on to things your reason once accepted, despite your changing moods.
    C.S. Lewis

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