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  1. #31
    にゃん runvardh's Avatar
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    I want kids one way or another. I'm cool with adoption, but I'm a greedy bastard and would like to pass on a few genetic aptitudes if I find the right kind of willing woman. That said, if other people don't want, that's fine. But if we all stop, humanity will have to resort to cloning by the time 2120 comes around or die off. Now, some people my not care if the species survives or not, but I'm one who does - again, I'm a greedy bastard.

    Outside of all that I'd rather a woman I can be with over spreading my genes. I'll even pass up on adopting for the right woman; but she'll have to damn well be the right woman and have a damn good reason for me not to. I'm not the kind of guy who just wants the kids for show, and I will put in most to all the care if needed (If I don't find someone by the time I turn 45 I'm adopting, period).
    Dreams are best served manifest and tangible.

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    I accept no responsibility, what so ever, for the fact that I exist; I do, however, accept full responsibility for what I do while I exist.

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  2. #32
    Emerging Tallulah's Avatar
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    I've never felt the need to have my own biological children. I always thought it wouldn't matter so much for me personally if I were informed I couldn't have kids--if anything, it would relieve that external guilt I have from time to time for never wanting them.

    I know I'd love my own kids IF I had them. But it would essentially be an act of faith--taking a leap and assuming that I'd never regret that choice. I know I couldn't be the sort of mother that is all about playdates and soccer games on the weekends and just sort of Kid Central 24/7. I feel like I might be too self-absorbed to be a good parent. But that might change if I had kids, who knows? I am an excellent mother to my dog.

    I always thought I'd be okay with adopting, but then I wonder, would I be able to handle the inevitable, "You're not my mother! I want to find my REAL mother!" stuff. I suspect I wouldn't. I also wonder if I'd be okay with helping to raise someone else's kids.

    It's strange; I'm well over the age where people are expected to have kids, and yet ME having kids seems soooo hypothetical. I can't imagine it being an immediate reality.
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  3. #33
    On a mission Usehername's Avatar
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    I'm pretty keen on being a mom at some point. Definitely something on my Life List.
    *You don't have a soul. You are a Soul. You have a body.
    *Faith is the art of holding on to things your reason once accepted, despite your changing moods.
    C.S. Lewis

  4. #34
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    Because it feels so good......

    Seriously, I really want to be a father some day. A lot of emotion attached to this disposition. There is just something wonderful about life.

  5. #35
    @.~*virinaĉo*~.@ Totenkindly's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tallulah View Post
    I know I'd love my own kids IF I had them. But it would essentially be an act of faith--taking a leap and assuming that I'd never regret that choice.
    It always is, hon.
    Always.

    Just like getting married.
    Or picking a career.

    There's a statement by Jesus in the Bible that I'll mention just because I find it interesting: "Where your treasure is, there will your heart be also." Sometimes it's misquoted as the opposite, which gives it different meaning. But when you look at it this way, it's saying, "What we choose to prioritize and commit ourselves to and sacrifice for becomes what we value."

    I don't think it's fail-safe, I think some things are so big that it's hard to get over just by making commitments; but I think that when we invest in something, it becomes important to us BECAUSE we've invested in it, even if we felt little beforehand. The commitment gives it add'l value.

    It's always a mix to me as well. Having kids closed off some options for me, and really complicated matters in other areas. But I think my kids are wonderful people, they changed me radically for the better, and I'm glad they alive, regardless of how things go with them.

    I know I couldn't be the sort of mother that is all about playdates and soccer games on the weekends and just sort of Kid Central 24/7.
    Yeah. Me neither. That's just not really me, although it's not bad to do sometimes

    I feel like I might be too self-absorbed to be a good parent.
    I have that too. It's hard feeling myself being compared to other women who are much more the standard ISFJ supermom type who doesn't seem to exist except in relation to her kids; but I'm just accepting I am what I am.

    I always thought I'd be okay with adopting, but then I wonder, would I be able to handle the inevitable, "You're not my mother! I want to find my REAL mother!" stuff. I suspect I wouldn't.
    Silly girl. That's why you either adopt overseas or make sure you kill the parents up front.

    I also wonder if I'd be okay with helping to raise someone else's kids.
    I wondered that too. I didn't end up feeling that way at all, my daughter is my daughter through-and-through. I think your sense of detachment protects you a bit here, you normally won't take it too personally if an adopted kid needs to learn their past.
    "Hey Capa -- We're only stardust." ~ "Sunshine"

    “Pleasure to me is wonder—the unexplored, the unexpected, the thing that is hidden and the changeless thing that lurks behind superficial mutability. To trace the remote in the immediate; the eternal in the ephemeral; the past in the present; the infinite in the finite; these are to me the springs of delight and beauty.” ~ H.P. Lovecraft

  6. #36

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    Note: I hope to adopt as well as have biological children. (I also think rescuing my dog is one of the best things I've ever done.)

    If you're looking for a rational reason as to why people choose to reproduce there are plenty, though I doubt many people act on the urge for those biologically programmed reasons. The rationale for many people who want to have children may not appeal to you since you do not have the desire yourself. The reasons also vary by person, so if you mean to ask me why I would like to reproduce I will be completely honest; the desire to create a living legacy that will (maybe) perpetuate the positive contributions I feel this world is in need of tugs at my well-anchored heart strings.

    However, I don't begrudge others their lack of desire to reproduce. To each their own. *tips hat*
    "The purpose of life is to be defeated by greater and greater things." - Rainer Maria Rilke

  7. #37
    Senior Member TheLastMohican's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Haphazard View Post
    There are too many people. Do we really need any more?

    Think about it.
    It would be nice if the population of the world was magically halved; we would certainly have an increase in prosperity and peace. Still, we have to consider reproduction on the level of individuals. Most individuals think they are special (in a good way). If only the smarter (or healthier, better-looking, more imaginative, however you want to balance out the traits) 50% of the population would reproduce at a constant rate while the bumber 50% ceased reproduction, we would have a rapid and desirable shift in the gene pool, so it it's a bit narrow to just say that nobody should reproduce. Somebody has to, and it might as well be the ones with the best genes. The trouble is that we're never going to get that kind of organization. Those who are simple-minded/ignorant and never consider this kind of global balance will continue to reproduce like crazy, and it would not be a good idea for all who are sharp enough to recognize the problem to cease their own reproduction, because then we have a dysgenics landslide, and our world population is going to keep rising in the long run anyway, depsite our efforts.

    In short, there's nothing we can do about it. If we all reproduce, populations rise. If some of us stop, population increase slows, but then comes back with a vengeance and is soon beyond any control.

  8. #38
    Senior Member cafe's Avatar
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    Kids were always a part of the life and family I wanted to create. I'm sure part of that is rooted in a desire to sort of recreate the childhood I believe I would have liked to have had myself.

    Why did they need to be my biological children? I wanted to breastfeed and that is way easier to do at the end of a pregnancy than through other means.

    And I wanted to have my children young. I saw how hard it was for my mom to keep up with my youngest brother and believed she did a better job with me than with him. No one is going to approve an adoption to two 21 year olds.

    I also wanted my husband's child because I was afraid if something happened to him I'd be left with no part of him otherwise.

    None of these things are particularly rational, but I think they are still pretty human and I'm very happy with my family.

    I think that I could love an adopted child because I kind of have an overactive maternal instinct, but I'd be a little nervous about having one very close in age to one of my biological children.

    I do not believe that we will adopt because, just as I anticipated, I'm getting too old for that stuff. I like it that my bunch are relatively self-sufficient and I enjoy the conversations they are more able to engage in now. And I have naughty plans for my husband in our empty house in approximately a decade.
    “There are two novels that can change a bookish fourteen-year old’s life: The Lord of the Rings and Atlas Shrugged. One is a childish fantasy that often engenders a lifelong obsession with its unbelievable heroes, leading to an emotionally stunted, socially crippled adulthood, unable to deal with the real world. The other, of course, involves orcs.”
    ~ John Rogers

  9. #39
    Courage is immortality Valiant's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Haphazard View Post
    I'm one of those people who believe that people should not reproduce.
    Maybe people in general shouldn't... -_- I'm sick of bad parents. Really, really sick of it... The worst part is that they don't know that they are really crappy parents themselves.

    Mightier than the tread of marching armies is the power of an idea whose time has come

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