Ill start, I remember walking home from the bus stop and one of the guys wanted to throw punches with me. I thought to myself "this is it, time to see what your made of." He threw down his backpack and I threw down mine as tough as I could, stupid backpack!
just then my mom came driving around the corner. She pulls over and yells out the window "DONT YOU HURT MY BABY!" At which point I simply reached over and pulled up my back pack. I walked to the car and said, "thanks a lot mom, guess I wont be cool again this year" in a half sarcastic voice.
I ran into one of my good friends on campus and we got to chatting and decided to go back to the joural office to chat some more (we hadn't seen each other all summer and had a lot of catching up to do). Neither of us were completely sober (it was later in the day on a party weekend) and we were walking down the hallway with our arms around each others waists from the back. Outside of the office door I ran into one of my professors who never really liked me and I distinctly remember getting this look from her that said "SLUT"
Human beings make life so interesting. Do you know that in a universe so full of wonders, they have managed to invent boredom? -Terry Pratchett
I remember the day my grandmother's neighbour's son taught me how to fire a paintball rifle. He told me to aim at the transformer box and pull the trigger. I did, and I hit it pretty close to dead center with a nice, satisfying thunk and splat. Decided then that guns were kind of cool, but very scary when in my hands.
Still... I need to go have a paintball war with friends some day.
"I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference."
Mine's a two part story. I'm not sure if it's self depricating or purely vain... but it's an excerpt from my time as a young guy with no concept of human sexuality and a blatent lack of observational skills.
First is a couple of years ago when I was 14 or 15. I was hanging out with some friends and a couple of girls they knew who I had just met. One of them, who was a year older, from another school, and fairly attractive, was blatently hitting on me from all over the place -but I was too dumb to even notice at the time. She was complimenting me in many ways, including SPECIFICALLY how my facial structure/hair colour/eyes/skin colour all supposedly compliment eachother (like who says that? What. The. Fuck.), and then making as many excuses as possible to be with me/sit beside me/hug me/ect. She also complimented me on my personality and humour, specifically how I was like the best of both worlds between my witty, nerdy friend and my chiseled athletic friend. She did everything but rape me and I had no idea she was coming on!! As you may have assumed, I didn't go for it because I had no idea it was there. I was sexually oblivious, and a timid, shy kid.
Part two happened a couple of months ago. I was walking in the neighborhood mall with one of my friends who was there that fateless night and we heard "Hello *insert friend's name here*!" from behind us. My friend (who still knows her) turned around, saw her waving and smiling as she walked by, and said hello back to her. I said to my friend "thats *insert her name here*, isn't it?". He said, yep, and after he confirmed that she had in fact come on to me in all the ways I earlier described, I was instantly like " " in my mind. How did I let that happen?! My soul became filled with regret over missed opportunities. It's like if someone gave you a winning lottery ticket and you used it as toilet paper, only to realize what it was after you flushed it down. She had incredible brown hair and a nice body, too, just like that night so long ago.
To this day my memory of these events sticks out like a sore thumb. Never again!