“Pleasure to me is wonder—the unexplored, the unexpected, the thing that is hidden and the changeless thing that lurks behind superficial mutability. To trace the remote in the immediate; the eternal in the ephemeral; the past in the present; the infinite in the finite; these are to me the springs of delight and beauty.” ~ H.P. Lovecraft
You don't have to act so mature all the time. It's OK to be you, to have fun, to enjoy people as you do, to be open to new experiences, and to be a bit irresponsible sometimes. There is no perfection, so you can stop trying now. Popularity only celebrates your mask. You can't be all things to all people.
You've got a good thing going, don't let it go because you want to please the old folks. Step back a bit, focus, relinquish some control. Don't own the fear of others, trust what's in front and inside of you. Remember that nobody knows you better than you do yourself. Don't believe anyone who tells you otherwise, they will throw you so far off you may never find your way back again.
Rebounding is for basketball. In this case, letting go is much wiser than forgiving, forgiving, and forgiving. Some things don't need to be thought over and analyzed. Digging will only get you deeper. Don't let the shock prevent you from running like hell. Somethings are better left alone and unknown. Trust yourself, or face the consequences of going against what you know to be true.
Also, you don't have to be so sensitive and contrary sometimes. You can absorb and accept what people tell you, even when you don't agree. No need to announce "Red" when someone says "Green" unless you really care about something. Seriously...When you listen closely to other people you learn more about who they are. It's easier for you to understand them, to meet their needs that way, which is where you find so much of your joy.
Don't room with InFpFeR. Yall can be BFFs down the hall from each other. It's close enough.
Stay optimistic, stay happy, don't forget all the things that you have to smile about even when the shit hits the fan.
Oh, and in 2002, buy real estate in that little neighborhood you love so much. You know the model, the Juniper Springs. Sell it in 2005. Smartest move ever!
You've Been Forewarned,
There is a thinking stuff from which all things are made, and which, in its original state, permeates, penetrates, and fills the interspaces of the universe.
This is you. From the future. Wow, huh? I know how curious you are about your future and stuff, so I'm gonna tell you some things that might prepare you for what will come. Remember: don't tell anyone about this.
The new millenium will not be THAT special. We won't be sucked into a massive universe filled with ultramodern things and blue glitters. The new millenium will be quite normal. Next year there will be chosen a new leader in the USA, George Bush, who will screw up massively according to some. He will start many wars, but you don't have to be afraid of anything. After George Bush the first colored president of the USA wil be elected in 2008. I don't know yet what he will bring the world. After all, it's just 2009 and he hasn't done many things yet. In the Netherlands a controversial politician called Pim Fortuin will gain popularity, but it's not necessary to be that much against him as your dad. Fortuin wil get killed before election day. Don't tell anyone about any of this, because it might change your fate. You will stay totally unharmed, at least until 2009. And no, the world is NOT going to end in the near future and you will NOT die within ten years.
Now, I'm going to prepare you for the things you will have to face in your own life. See the friends you have right now? You won't have any contact with them in 2009. Most of them will move. To other towns, to other countries. Some of them will turn out to be too uncool for you and some of them will get too slutty for you in three years. Don't know what slutty is? Search it up in the dictionary. It's on the bookshelf next to the computer. Hey, have I already told you that there will be 3 computers in your house in 2009? Modern, huh? By the way, in the summer of 2005 you will move. That's fine, because when you arrive in your new house, you will get a cat.
No, you will not get married when you're 15, like Sleeping Beauty. You will be too depressed for boys at that moment. When you're 12 and you're going to high school, you will enter a whole new and strange world. It will feel like you're being taken hostage on an alien spaceship and that feeling will not go away during the six years you will spend there. It will be a very strange world, like in "Alice in Wonderland", but then creepier. The people there will be een stranger. They will be the exact opposite of you and they will even almost make you kill yourself when you're 14. But always remind that getting your revenge is much more fun that ending your life and letting your enemies win. I know revenge has always been your strongest point. Whatever people say, don't you ever let that vengeful aspect of your personality go. It will save your life and your happiness.
Some other thing: don't go join the judo club and the batminton club. Those clubs will be an ever bigger disappointment than ballet. Don't drink alcohol in case of emergencies like when you have to make sure you won't lose "the love of your teenage years" at super important graduations (remember this one for when you're 17). Don't pull out your hair out of your head because people say that guys find it attractive when your 12, because it's not. And when you're afraid that your teachers will call your parents because you have been bad, just make sure that no one can call you. It's that simple.
I hope you're not disappointed. You probably are and I understand. Your life in 2009 will be so much different than you think. It will be absurd. The exact opposite of what you actually want. But never give up on hope. Don't. Remember that vengeful feeling. Do you feel it? Revenge can be used in any situation. The bad things you're going through at the moment, are a good reason for revenge in the future. Revenge makes you more creative. So don't you ever give up on that. And don't you ever forget that you're awesome. If there was a Nobelprize for Awesomeness, you'd win it.
P.S.: Don't listen to your father's theory about "social" and "intellectual" people. Social people are not any less than intellectual people. There are even people who are social AND intellectual. You also have people who are none of both. You are not an intellectual, like your father tries to tell you. At least, you will grow up to be an unintellectual. There will be no one out there who will hate reading as much as you! Enjoy your time with reading Roald Dahl for now, you will never ever read a book for fun again after you're 16.
I was sitting outside the classroom waiting to go in, and I saw an airplane hit the tower. The TV was obviously on. I used to fly myself and I said, "There's one terrible pilot."
- George W. Bush -
and yeah, what you suspect is true. life after college is downhill. But it flattens, and starts up again once u have time outside of work. Trashy, uneducated girls spend all their time thinking of ways to relationship brain you. you can't compete, so don't try to beat them, just disassociate and detach and let them win. in the meantime, try a mohawk. guys grow their hair annoyingly long nowadays, but the ones nowadays who remind you of you when u were younger have a semi mohawk w a zero blade on the sides, called a fauxhawk or some shiet like that.
Though you admire your sister, there is one single issue where you don't want to take her advice. Keeping a diary to sort out your feelings is NOT going to help you. Contemplating your navel will only make the bad feelings worse. Just write stories instead where the main character does everything and dares everything you want to do and dare. Those stories aren't worth shit, as the main is a total Mary Sue, but they will help you better than any diary can do.
Oh yes - there is a solid, stone moon outside to look at, too.