When do ISTPs share their deeper emotions?

[Lauren Ashley]

Originally Posted by A Schnitzel

You seem to be operating on the assumption that ISTPs have deep emotions.

Right...nevermind then.

[millerm277]

@Lauren Ashley, generally, our emotions are relatively fleeting, which makes expressing them not a useful thing to do. (Ex: I can be angry as hell, two minutes later I'm back to normal, and quite happy I didn't lash out before.)

Also, we are (usually), very private people, which means that it's less likely that we will share "deeper emotions" easily. (Like love, sadness, etc..). That kind of thing, for the most part, is kept inside.

[kendoiwan]

Err... The things I keep inside stay inside unless I find a reason to share. I'm not for saying things for the sake of saying them.

[eclare]

This is from awhile back but:

The truth is- I feel that I almost always do (share my emotions). I'm a very transparent person. And yet misunderstandings persist amongst people whom I respect and interact with on a fairly consistent basis that I don't.

This type of thing caused a lot of angst (mostly one-sided) at the beginning of my relationship with my ISTP boyfriend. Our conversations would go like this:

Me (an INFJ): Tell me how you feel!
Him: I just did.
Me: But I mean how you reeeaaally feel.
Him: Seriously, I just did.
Me: But that cannot POSSIBLY be how you really feel.
Him: No it really is.

Then I would get upset and end the conversation. I would come back later and say something like "So I was thinking about our fight earlier..." and he'd respond "What are you talking about? We've never had a fight."

It took me many long months to realize that I had to take him at his word.

[Doppleganger]

I'm sure it's been said 10,000 times already, but I only share my feelings with people I'm really close to. Even then I don't feel that they're important.

[bronte]

Originally Posted by eclare

This is from awhile back but:


This type of thing caused a lot of angst (mostly one-sided) at the beginning of my relationship with my ISTP boyfriend. Our conversations would go like this:

Me (an INFJ): Tell me how you feel!
Him: I just did.
Me: But I mean how you reeeaaally feel.
Him: Seriously, I just did.
Me: But that cannot POSSIBLY be how you really feel.
Him: No it really is.

:

Ive come to the conclusion that asking my husband how he 'feels' is a complete waste of my breath! He either doesnt 'feel' with the sort of depth I would about something (which is a very mixed blessing anyway) or he doesnt have the words to describe his feelings.

The kids can make him very angry but it lasts for about 5 mins and then he dosnt want to talk about it. Neither does he get passionate about anything - he is mildly enthusiastic about sport, running, the outdoors and beer

I've come to really appreciate the calm and he makes me laugh - alot. (sometimes unintentionally - he's just brought me a cup of tea in bed, wearing my pink slippers and told me that 'the kitchen is now closed madam')

[eclare]

Yes - the calm and the laughter is what makes the relationship special, although we keep one another intellectually stimulated as well.

One thing that drives me nuts, though, is that he constantly asks what I'm thinking. How do I explain that I am thinking everything and nothing at the same time? My usual response is "I don't know yet. I'll let you know once I've figured it out."

[bronte]

can go with the intellectual stimulation too - though its different say from the sort of discussions i have a work - he doesnt go in for long discussions but has a sharp insight and a very quick wit

just thought again about the title of the thread - when do istps share their deeper emotions - perhaps it should be how - I can 'see' when something has moved him or upset him though its rare that he wil verbalise it and he then tends to 'do' something to displace that feeling.

[Colors]

Originally Posted by bronte

just thought again about the title of the thread - when do istps share their deeper emotions - perhaps it should be how - I can 'see' when something has moved him or upset him though its rare that he wil verbalise it and he then tends to 'do' something to displace that feeling.

Well, although I'm not so much with the "replacing" my feelings with things, I can identify with simply not having the words to talk about my emotions. I guess it take practice, just like everything else, but sometimes I get so frustrated that I can finally trust/get someone to listen to my concerns and it's like 'ARGH. WORDS. BLEH.' inside my head.

Words are so tricky and flighty anyway. Actions speak for themselves.

[phoenity]

Originally Posted by eclare

Yes - the calm and the laughter is what makes the relationship special, although we keep one another intellectually stimulated as well.

One thing that drives me nuts, though, is that he constantly asks what I'm thinking. How do I explain that I am thinking everything and nothing at the same time? My usual response is "I don't know yet. I'll let you know once I've figured it out."

Him asking you what you're thinking is the same as you asking him what he's feeling.