ESTP conversations

[DirtyHarry25]

I'm and ESTP and I feel like my conversations aren't as good as they should be. I'm more of the guy who gets straight to the point and doesn't give too many details (unless they ask). But my biggest thing is that I sometimes have a problem with starting topics. I'm so in-tuned to my environment that I find myself forgetting there's a person around to talk to. When someone brings up a topic, I can talk about it and run along with it. It's just starting them. Any others have this problem and what do you do?

[spirilis]

Heh, I have the EXACT same problem, and I can't say I've come up with a solution. I blame it on introversion but I'm guessing that's not it. Once the conversation's going I do more than get to the point, in fact I usually diddle-dawdle around it endlessly until I'm there, but starting the conversation is still an exercise in futility for me.

[Haphazard]

Sounds familiar... actually...

[ThatGirl]

You just started this topic. How did that happen?

[Kleinheiko]

yes, I know exactly what you mean. And coming from another SP, you can probably relate to me more than those last three NT's who posted. I try to think in advance of conversations to start. Sometimes I'll even google "conversation starters."

For me though, due to my introversion, I sometimes can't even carry on a conversation that has been started.

[Jeffster]

Originally Posted by Kleinheiko

yes, I know exactly what you mean. And coming from another SP, you can probably relate to me more than those last three NT's who posted. I try to think in advance of conversations to start. Sometimes I'll even google "conversation starters."

For me though, due to my introversion, I sometimes can't even carry on a conversation that has been started.

For me it's like, I'll always think of the perfect thing to say when the conversation's already over and it's too late. Every once in awhile I have good timing, and then it's like people are amazed I suddenly said something really funny and timely. But a lot of the time, it takes me a few minutes and then the window is shut. I've gotten a lot better about that at work, though. My reaction time has been quicker in terms of the thoughts to speech part, haha.

[alicia91]

I'm like that too unless I have a bunch of info to tell someone who I know is interested in it or if someone tells me something interesting then I'm known to sometimes go into 'ask too many questions mode.'

I'm more of the guy who gets straight to the point and doesn't give too many details (unless they ask).

I'm extremely good at giving a summary. When someone asks where we went on vacation I'm really good at giving a brief, accurate statement. I know that I should really improve in this area, but at the same time I'm very annoyed by people who talk to much and people like my husband and best friend (both extreme Es)who tell very long-winded stories. That's really annoying IMO. I guess a happy medium would be best.

[Athenian200]

Originally Posted by DirtyHarry25

I'm and ESTP and I feel like my conversations aren't as good as they should be. I'm more of the guy who gets straight to the point and doesn't give too many details (unless they ask). But my biggest thing is that I sometimes have a problem with starting topics. I'm so in-tuned to my environment that I find myself forgetting there's a person around to talk to. When someone brings up a topic, I can talk about it and run along with it. It's just starting them. Any others have this problem and what do you do?

You're really an ESTP, right? No joke? I didn't think any would come, I figured they all had better things to do than talk to us. Hmm... you must be really bored, huh?

I know what you mean about starting topics, except that in my case it's because I'm so in my head and can't see how to push any of my ideas out into a real expression until I see something expressed (such as what someone else says) that I can use as structure for it, because it's so amorphous. It's like I have to wait for the opportunity to express it. For reference, I'm pretty sure I'm an INFJ (your shadow), but I've been typed as every IJ type.

Well, what I do is I learn about a few subjects that would appeal to a lot of people, and try to lead something they say into an area that I can say a lot about. Sometimes I just look around the room, and back over the things I've done or thought recently for something that gives me an idea of something to talk about. All I really need is a "spark," and another person to keep it going. If that makes sense.

[Schizm]

What do you mean by so tuned into your environment? I get so much stimulation from high sensory situations that I have to leave the place. Are you aware of like the whips of people's hands from across the room with your back turned? How deep does this go? Will you notice a rose petal falling form 100 feet away while someone speaks to you if you it's in your field of vision? Your type is the representative type of James Bond. I always thought that was really neat. The idea of a smooth operating sociopath.

[htb]

Originally Posted by DirtyHarry25

I'm and ESTP and I feel like my conversations aren't as good as they should be. I'm more of the guy who gets straight to the point and doesn't give too many details (unless they ask). But my biggest thing is that I sometimes have a problem with starting topics. I'm so in-tuned to my environment that I find myself forgetting there's a person around to talk to.

You just described the prototypical ISTP.

Congratulations, you're on the first step to recovery!