ESTP and ISTJ

[Paul3144]

How do ESTPs perceive ISTJs and do they get along well?

["?"]

The Personality Page has a section for relations. They have theory on natural partners that believes your dominant function should pare well with the same dominant function of different attitude, i.e., ESTPs will do well with both ISJs:

You may be interested in understanding how we came to the conclusion that certain types are ideal for each other. Our type pairing is a result of combining observation, research, and understanding of Jungian psychological type. Observation and research of married couples shows that there is a definite trend in types that are attracted to each other, and in type combinations that have the longest lasting relationships. Our understanding of psychological type helps to see that these types typically have the same dominant function, but with a different attitude.

In Jungian terms, "functions" refer to the four core traits: Intuition (N), Sensing (S), Feeling (F), and Thinking (T). The term "attitude" refers to the direction of the function, i.e. Introverted (I) or Extraverted (E). So, for example, a person with a personality type of ISFP has a dominant function of Introverted Feeling. More specifically, Feeling in the dominant function, and its attitude (or direction) is Introverted. A person with this personality type is likely to be most attracted to, and fit best with, a person that has Extraverted Feeling dominating their personality. Extraverted Feeling dominates the personality types ESFJ and ENFJ. We therefore determine that the ISFP's natural partner is the ESFJ or the ENFJ.

Our natural attraction to people who share our dominant function, but who use it in a different direction works very well for us. We not only flip-flop the Introverted or Extraverted trait, but we also flip-flop the Judging or Perceiving trait. In this way, the partner that we choose for ourselves will have a very different approach to dealing with the world. If we are laid-back and indecisive, our partner will be structured and decisive. If we are reserved, our partner will be outgoing. For all of our apparent differences, we will share a common vision of what's truly important in life.

For people whose personality types are dominated by Decision Making functions, (i.e. Thinking or Feeling), their ideal partners will include both Sensing and Intuitive types. Many people have problems communicating effectively with people who do not share their same preference for Information Gathering. So, if you have a very strong preference for Sensing or Intuition, you will need to give the personality type with the same preference a higher value as a likely natural partner. For example, an ISFP who strongly prefers Sensing will work best with an ESFJ, rather than an ENFJ.

Although we believe firmly that this model works very well to help in finding and maintaining healthy relationships, it is important to remember that it's just a tool. We offer guidelines to help you understand the kinds of things that you value in a relationship, rather than guidelines that you need to follow strictly. Two well-developed individuals of any type can make a relationship work. And work is a key concept here! There is no such thing as an effortless relationship. Don't use this model as an excuse to dump your relationship.

On the other hand, other theories like Keirsey’s, believes that total opposites do attract, therefore the best partner for ESTP would be the reversal of their functions (INFJ).

[Lookin4theBestNU]

On the other hand, other theories like Keirsey’s, believes that total opposites do attract, therefore the best partner for ESTP would be the reversal of their functions (INFJ).


Not exactly 'total'. Keirsey theory is that opposites attract except in Sensing and Intuition. He describes early on in the book that if people are opposite in this department it will be "like two strangers in a strange land". Theoretically (according to Keirsey) the ISFJ/ESTP or ISTJ/ESFP would be ideally matched. He goes on throughout the book in the relationship sections to describe how SJ/SP couples are suited so well and will share commonality in communication. The artisan/guardian pairings seem natural in his view. I do want to point out as well that he states that any two types can make a relationship work which I certainly believe! MBTIc doesn't have many ESTPs so it may take awhile to get a specific response on their view of ISTJs. I hope you get one though!

[PinkPiranha]

My ESTPs and ISTJs seem to LOVE each other. Not a bad dynamic at all.

["?"]

Originally Posted by Lookin4theBestNU

Not exactly 'total'. Keirsey theory is that opposites attract except in Sensing and Intuition. He describes early on in the book that if people are opposite in this department it will be "like two strangers in a strange land". Theoretically (according to Keirsey) the ISFJ/ESTP or ISTJ/ESFP would be ideally matched. He goes on throughout the book in the relationship sections to describe how SJ/SP couples are suited so well and will share commonality in communication. The artisan/guardian pairings seem natural in his view. I do want to point out as well that he states that any two types can make a relationship work which I certainly believe! MBTIc doesn't have many ESTPs so it may take awhile to get a specific response on their view of ISTJs. I hope you get one though!

That is true, however at Lifexplore he does show INFJ, then the obvious choice of ISFJ in saying:

The relative rarity of the ESTP's opposite on the intuitive side, INFJ (about 1 percent compared to the ESTP's 15 percent), means that such matings will be quite infrequent, as they should be. Imagine an oracle married to a wheeler-dealer! We should, however, be mindful that, whatever our own political beliefs, our more spectacular Presidents (J.F. Kennedy, L.B. Johnson, T. Roosevelt, F.D. Roosevelt) were ESTP "promoters" without peer. It would be a fascinating study to check on the temperament of their wives to see if any married their oracular INFJ opposites.

The seemingly correct-and, we can assume, attractive-choice is the ISFJ "conservator." Such complementarily should work out rather nicely, especially if the promoter is male and the conservator is female.

[Mondo]

Eleanor Roosevelt-INFJ

Jackie Kennedy and Lady Bird Johnson- not INFJ's

[onecoolguy]

I'm trying to date one. Posted here.

My experience so far:

On conversation -
The connection is pretty much instant. I'm an ESTP, she's an ISTJ, and the best thing about her is conversations we have, about anything. What amazes me is how an ISTJ is able to complete the topic of conversation, giving me a viewpoint I would have never thought about, and I think this amazement is mutual. Like the matrix, we ESTPs are the red pill and ISTJs are the blue pill. I enjoy speaking my mind in random thoughts to arrive at a conclusion. She is able to organize these thoughts and help me arrive there without even thinking about it. Our types complement each other very well. Some interpretations of the ISTJ type say they are so well-in-tune to their social expectations that they can disguise themselves as extroverts and can do it without struggle. I find this accurate.

On work vs. play -
From a student's perspective, ESTPs study hard during the day because there's a party going on that night. ISTJ's go to the party as a reward to themselves for studying hard during the day. Each has the same endpoint, just a different reason for arriving at there. The two types should be very agreeable towards each other, as the end result - enjoying the party - is the same. The two types should also be equally interested in each others' reasons since the means to get to the desired end is totally different. There's enough agreement with the two to get along great. There's also enough disagreement to keep things moving. To me, this equals very good compatibility.