SPs Inner life

[Pancreas]

Originally Posted by Lightyear

One thing I found with some young SPs is that they are so distracted by the outer world that they don't think that deeply about their emotions. If I asked them about their strengths and weaknesses or how they would characterise themselves they would look at me blankly like it hadn't occured to them before to think about such things, they were just not introspective.

However I have also known especially SFPs who are very aware of their emotions and will talk about them openly.

They may not have been introspective, but they may have just been unsure how to answer the question. If someone asked me to describe myself they’d probably get a blank or confused look, mainly because I wouldn’t know where to start. I know what I’m like, but how do I explain it to them? What do they want to hear? Do they want a list of traits, examples? Are they being open-ended or just unintentionally ambiguous when they actually have a specific idea in mind? While I’m floundering over what they actually want I also have to put something I consider fluid and undefinable into words and not only that, I have to worry about what interpretations they’re going to make after I’ve said it. Did they misinterpret it? Are they seeing emotions or opinions that I don’t actually hold? Are my personal values of words clouding the meaning of what I’m trying to say? Have I somehow offended them after all that?

["?"]

Originally Posted by KLessard

I once read in David Keirsey's work that SPs don't like or don't care to talk about their inner lives, and that this will always create tension in NF-SP relationships.

I agree with most everyone's sentiment as do MBTI theorists. You cannot correlate temperament with type, without making some fundamental changes in the theories. This is probably most pronounced in SP types.

[Jeffster]

Sorry, "?", I love ya, but posting that again gets a big "Duh" from me. Keirsey focused on observable traits that differentiate people, so of course he's not going to describe INTPs and ISTPs as being the same, because they don't come across the same to anyone who's paying attention closely. People harping on Dr. K for not focusing on theoretical stuff that is pure speculation is just silly.

[Bamboo]

Originally Posted by KLessard

Here's a T speaking
No, I doubt STPs would care about emotional inner life.

I care about my emotions to the extent that it effects my outer physical life.

Ponder this one: the master archer who's goal is to hit the target aims less for the physical target and more for the target 'inside of himself'. Get what's inside under control and everything falls into place. Try to force what's going on outside to work and you will screw up.

Simplified: In a real way I "live" via my inner world to connect to reality, but I try to stay away from dwelling on my inner emotions - I don't see a purpose to it.

Occasionally I'll "touch base" and calm down/meditate/gather energy - a process which keeps me in good health and alert, but only stay there with the intention of getting back to reality ASAP. That's where I really care how things are going.

Originally Posted by rhinosaur

But instead of directing my beliefs about the unanswerable questions, my inner life directs the tactics of everyday existence, and helps me be more open with my emotions.

Nice.

[Jeffster]

Originally Posted by KLessard

What do you SPs have to say about this? Certainly the ISFP has a rich inner life?

I think my "inner life" is like anything else, it's situational. There was another topic where somebody did a survey thing and asked "Describe your inner life." I had no idea what to say to that, because like Pancreas said, I didn't know where to start. I don't see some sort of inner picture that I can describe. If you ask me about my emotions related to a certain situation or event in my life, I have no problem sharing, at least attempting to convey the emotions and thoughts that I went through or am going through.

But Keirsey is right in the sense that I will almost always prefer to talk about cool stuff in the external world, mostly because it's easier for me to focus on positive emotions that way, whereas examining my "inner self" often dredges up my fears and insecurities, and that doesn't feel good.

[Kingfisher]

i agree with a lot of what bamboo and rhinosaur have said.

Originally Posted by rhinosaur

I completely agree with Bamboo about the unanswerable questions -- they are usually worthless, and only interesting to a certain point.

i relate a lot to this. "philosophical questions," "spiritual yearnings," etc., are interesting to me up to a point, and then suddenly they are completely uninteresting, irrelevant, worthless. and it is not a point that takes long to get to either, haha.
i just do not think about these things hardly ever, because they seem fruitless. they seem to go nowhere, and thinking philosophically/spiritually like this seems to me to be a giant waste of energy and time.
i would say that i have spiritual yearnings and so forth, and they are important to me, but it is almost as if they are constantly there without me even needing to think about them. if i "open up" to somebody and communicate some kind of spiritual yearning, it is often something that i have not conciously thought about. it is as if the ideas are fully formed in me, but i never conciously think about them.

[Halla74]

Originally Posted by KLessard

I once read in David Keirsey's work that SPs don't like or don't care to talk about their inner lives, and that this will always create tension in NF-SP relationships.
Strangely enough, when I look back, I realize that as an INFX Healer/Counsellor, I've had tons of SPs (often the most extraverted popular types) coming to me for advice and sharing very personal things even if I barely knew them. I was always surprised to discover that inner life in them and to discover that they trusted me so easily. Then again, NFs are always everybody's psychologists, aren't they?

I suppose those were mostly SFPs. What do you SPs have to say about this? Certainly the ISFP has a rich inner life?

That's interesting. I have a great inner life, but I don't feel it necessary to share it in its entirety just for the sake of doing so, I am at peace with myself. I divulge what I must in order for my external on-goings to make sense to those who would be better off knowing my inner motivation/purpose for wanting something to happen.

Also, I find it interesting that you stated INF_ end up being their friend's psychologists. I am 100% ESTP and I have filled the "psychologist" role for my friends time and time again year after year everywhere I have lived. I think the reason confide in me is because I can relate to anyone and I am not judgemental. The reason they come back for more is I offer them possible solutions to their problem that they can execute. I pay my counselor $125 per hour and he asks me questions! But he's really cool and insightful, and we actually crack each other up sometimes.

Cheers!

[wolfy]

Originally Posted by KLessard

I once read in David Keirsey's work that SPs don't like or don't care to talk about their inner lives, and that this will always create tension in NF-SP relationships.
Strangely enough, when I look back, I realize that as an INFX Healer/Counsellor, I've had tons of SPs (often the most extraverted popular types) coming to me for advice and sharing very personal things even if I barely knew them. I was always surprised to discover that inner life in them and to discover that they trusted me so easily. Then again, NFs are always everybody's psychologists, aren't they?
I suppose those were mostly SFPs. What do you SPs have to say about this? Certainly the ISFP has a rich inner life?

I don't mind talking about things related to inner life in general. But my own inner life I don't really don't like to talk about. I prefer to work through things in my own mind as much as possible. In general it makes for a tedious conversation, in my experience.

["?"]

Originally Posted by Jeffster

Sorry, "?", I love ya, but posting that again gets a big "Duh" from me. Keirsey focused on observable traits that differentiate people, so of course he's not going to describe INTPs and ISTPs as being the same, because they don't come across the same to anyone who's paying attention closely. People harping on Dr. K for not focusing on theoretical stuff that is pure speculation is just silly.

Sorry I knew I had posted it elsewhere, but for whatever reasons some get it and some do not. I will edit, but I would never have determined my type from Keirsey's work because I did not see myself in his ISTP description, although I can relate to the SP temperament. Keirsey seems to put too much emphasis on hedonism, when clearly introverted functions will counter any sense of the word.

[Domino]

My ISTP bff sat around talking about all manner of abstract things, including strictly emotional ones. My ESFP bff is very open about her feelings (or at least her willingness to discuss them with me and Jaye) and she ponders deeper meanings all the time, though her method or conclusion may not be my own.