How to make an ISFP fall in L-O-V-E

CzeCze · 09-12-2007, 05:11 AM

I'm intrigued by this ISFP guy and as an ENFP female, I will follow anything that intrigues me until well...it stops intriguing me.

But, considering ISFP-ENFP is a relation of 'semi-duality' (according to socionics) I don't think the intrigue will ever completely wear off.

So yes, my question -- how does one make an ISFP fall in love? Specifically with ME, an ENFP? What things to avoid, what common problems and misunderstandings? What are these relationships usually like?

And why do you think ISFP and ENFP are drawn to each other (or are they?)

Do you think these relationships are reciprocal or does one type benefit more than another?

Thanks!
CzeCze

ygolo · 09-12-2007, 06:45 AM

ISxP's in theory will find Ne Comedic/Deceiving.

And you have an Fi in common. For him Fi is Leading/Dominating, and for you it is Supporting/Overprotective.

So be funny, and take charge of him?

Pay no attention. I have no real people skills. I am trying to synthesize them from books.

Natrushka · 09-12-2007, 11:32 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by CzeCze

I'm intrigued by this ISFP guy and as an ENFP female, I will follow anything that intrigues me until well...it stops intriguing me.

When I saw the title of your thread I thought, "I know what worked for my SIL, but that was with an ENFP, I wonder..."

What worked for my SIL? Believe it or not, being relentlessly pursued - what I'd call stalked. For the life of me, I can't figure out why it works for them, but it does. Watching them interact for extended periods of time can be frustrating; they both openly complain about each other and yet they've been together for 20+ years.

Jennifer · 09-12-2007, 12:27 PM

The Fi is important. You both have it; you both will focus on values in a situation.

[Example: I know in one situation with a close ISFP friend, his priority was who was getting hurt in a situation whereas mine was "what is the best long-term solution for everyone, regardless of feelings." This was typical. ESFPs can get flightly; ISFPs are more quiet and stable with their Fi, like INFP. Actually in some ways they can seem more stable, since N can cause a wild ride, while S is practical.]

ISFPs tend to be meanderers at their own pace. They like to wander around and experience life as it comes to them. In a sense you could label them "sensual" (not "sexual" necessarily -- just sensual!) dabblers.

So you need to be prepared for what could come across as laziness/indifference; they will take their good old time, but they like to play around with everything. Many are tinkerers.

They tend to be liked by just about everyone, though, because they are so easy-going and seem to truly care about others. Usually are considered very "nice."

SFP types emulate N, especially Ne. So really, at first thought, if you can tolerate his slower lifestyle / desire to take it easy, you could find a lot in common. He just might not seem as motivated as you might wish him to be.

Uberfuhrer · 09-12-2007, 02:16 PM

I would think the ISFP would be the easiest to make fall in (and out of) love. Just don't break up with him -- he might cut himself for attention!

Schizm · 09-13-2007, 08:28 AM

Fuck him?

FFF · 09-14-2007, 04:54 AM

I don't know about male ISFP's, but I know how to get the female ones to fall in love with me.

No, really, it's not bad. You just have to be really sweet to them.

runvardh · 09-14-2007, 05:51 AM

Yeah, my brother is pretty laid back; kinda muly when he feels like being unreasonable, but he's been making good progress at growing out of that. Seems happiest piddling with his computer, painting, and helping his friends feel good about themselves while getting them to grow a backbone at the same time.

Yeah, use Fi to connect and Ne to leave pretty bread crumbs for his Se to follow.

arborvitae · 09-15-2007, 06:29 AM

Hmm, I think ISFPs are pretty easy to please. In the beginning, its most important to just be nice. As the relationship progresses, try to be supportive and affirming. We ISFPs often have self-esteem problems

Its also important to genuinely be interested in who this person is and what he cares about. If you probe gently with questions, you'll find out a lot.

As far as how the two types go together - I really don't think too much about personality beyond how a love interest treats me. My INTP boyfriend is kind of a jerk to most people, but he's sweet to me so things are just peachy

I can usually find an aspect of somebody's personality to enjoy, so I'm not picky. Maybe as an ENFP you are intrigued by ISFPs because we're sorta private and take a while to get to know? Your warm extroverted enthusiasm will probably help to draw him out.

I don't know if this helps. I'm just going by personal experience and an online description of ENFPs.

Ok...time for bed. Oh yeah, expect your ISFP to sleep a lot.

FFF · 09-15-2007, 11:57 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by arborvitae

Maybe as an ENFP you are intrigued by ISFPs because we're sorta private and take a while to get to know? Your warm extroverted enthusiasm will probably help to draw him out.

I don't know if this helps. I'm just going by personal experience and an online description of ENFPs.

Ok...time for bed. Oh yeah, expect your ISFP to sleep a lot.

My ENFP friend who I talk to online and on the phone seems to be interested in me because I'm very private and difficult to get to know.

Yes, I've noticed ISFP girls tend to be low energy types.

09-12-2007, 05:11 AM	#1 (permalink)
CzeCze Step Into My Centrifuge Join Date: Sep 2007 Type: ENFP Location: Minor Chords Posts: 3,252	How to make an ISFP fall in L-O-V-E I'm intrigued by this ISFP guy and as an ENFP female, I will follow anything that intrigues me until well...it stops intriguing me. But, considering ISFP-ENFP is a relation of 'semi-duality' (according to socionics) I don't think the intrigue will ever completely wear off. So yes, my question -- how does one make an ISFP fall in love? Specifically with ME, an ENFP? What things to avoid, what common problems and misunderstandings? What are these relationships usually like? And why do you think ISFP and ENFP are drawn to each other (or are they?) Do you think these relationships are reciprocal or does one type benefit more than another? Thanks! CzeCze

09-12-2007, 06:45 AM	#2 (permalink)
ygolo My termites win Join Date: Aug 2007 Type: intp Location: North of somewhere (so not the south pole) Posts: 3,203	ISxP's in theory will find Ne Comedic/Deceiving. And you have an Fi in common. For him Fi is Leading/Dominating, and for you it is Supporting/Overprotective. So be funny, and take charge of him? Pay no attention. I have no real people skills. I am trying to synthesize them from books. __________________ sloan+ Rxua\|I\|; primary Inquisitive; R(82%)L(52%)U(62%)A(54%)I(86%) CTO of IPTN (see Maverick's Sig.) and member of Maverick's Biker Club. Accept the past. Live for the present. Look forward to the future. My Blog I linked some of your blogs; if you feel that is inappropriate, please let me know.

09-12-2007, 12:27 PM	#4 (permalink)
Jennifer The Doctor is IN Join Date: Apr 2007 Type: INtP Location: Free at last. Posts: 14,307	The Fi is important. You both have it; you both will focus on values in a situation. [Example: I know in one situation with a close ISFP friend, his priority was who was getting hurt in a situation whereas mine was "what is the best long-term solution for everyone, regardless of feelings." This was typical. ESFPs can get flightly; ISFPs are more quiet and stable with their Fi, like INFP. Actually in some ways they can seem more stable, since N can cause a wild ride, while S is practical.] ISFPs tend to be meanderers at their own pace. They like to wander around and experience life as it comes to them. In a sense you could label them "sensual" (not "sexual" necessarily -- just sensual!) dabblers. So you need to be prepared for what could come across as laziness/indifference; they will take their good old time, but they like to play around with everything. Many are tinkerers. They tend to be liked by just about everyone, though, because they are so easy-going and seem to truly care about others. Usually are considered very "nice." SFP types emulate N, especially Ne. So really, at first thought, if you can tolerate his slower lifestyle / desire to take it easy, you could find a lot in common. He just might not seem as motivated as you might wish him to be. __________________ Blog: Seasons of Mist

09-12-2007, 02:16 PM	#5 (permalink)
Uberfuhrer Full Circle Join Date: May 2007 Type: ENTP Location: Detroit, Michigan Posts: 8,534	I would think the ISFP would be the easiest to make fall in (and out of) love. Just don't break up with him -- he might cut himself for attention! __________________ "Place quotes in your signature to appear profound." --Uberfuhrer

09-14-2007, 05:51 AM	#8 (permalink)
runvardh Rebel Kitty Join Date: Jun 2007 Type: INFP Location: Alberta Posts: 5,665	Yeah, my brother is pretty laid back; kinda muly when he feels like being unreasonable, but he's been making good progress at growing out of that. Seems happiest piddling with his computer, painting, and helping his friends feel good about themselves while getting them to grow a backbone at the same time. Yeah, use Fi to connect and Ne to leave pretty bread crumbs for his Se to follow. __________________ Dreams are best served manifest and tangible. F does not mean socialy adept, just emotionaly unstable. INFP, 4w5 sx/sp, IEI

09-13-2007, 08:28 AM	#6 (permalink)
Schizm Senior Member Join Date: Sep 2007 Type: INTP Posts: 135	Fuck him?

09-14-2007, 04:54 AM	#7 (permalink)
FFF Five Factor Fan Join Date: Apr 2007 Type: IN?P Location: Louisiana Posts: 687	I don't know about male ISFP's, but I know how to get the female ones to fall in love with me. No, really, it's not bad. You just have to be really sweet to them.

09-15-2007, 06:29 AM	#9 (permalink)
arborvitae Member Join Date: Sep 2007 Type: ISFP Location: Austin, TX Posts: 40	Hmm, I think ISFPs are pretty easy to please. In the beginning, its most important to just be nice. As the relationship progresses, try to be supportive and affirming. We ISFPs often have self-esteem problems Its also important to genuinely be interested in who this person is and what he cares about. If you probe gently with questions, you'll find out a lot. As far as how the two types go together - I really don't think too much about personality beyond how a love interest treats me. My INTP boyfriend is kind of a jerk to most people, but he's sweet to me so things are just peachy I can usually find an aspect of somebody's personality to enjoy, so I'm not picky. Maybe as an ENFP you are intrigued by ISFPs because we're sorta private and take a while to get to know? Your warm extroverted enthusiasm will probably help to draw him out. I don't know if this helps. I'm just going by personal experience and an online description of ENFPs. Ok...time for bed. Oh yeah, expect your ISFP to sleep a lot.

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