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Thread: Socionics - Do you recognize your dual when you encounter them?

  1. #21
    Senior Member Array Chiharu's Avatar
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    My SO and I are duals. I was instantly drawn to him, but I figured that he was less interesting than I thought and that I was reading too much into him. Apparently, he noticed me too but thought that I wouldn't like someone like him.

    Almost textbook, really.
    Be soft. Do not let the world make you hard. Do not let pain make you hate. Do not let the bitterness steal your sweetness." ― Kurt Vonnegut

    ENFP. 7w6 – 4w3 – 1w9 sx/so. Aries. Dilettante. Overly anxious optimist.

  2. #22
    Senior Member Array sulfit's Avatar
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    Some duality descriptions:
    Duality by V. Meged
    Duality: short descriptions

    Quote Originally Posted by msg_v2 View Post
    No. I'm not really sure how to spot an ESFJ, to be honest. I know as an INTP (Socionics INTj) I'm supposed to complain about them all the time (but secretly they're supposed to be exactly what I need), but I'm not really sure if I've interacted with them very much, except for maybe some teachers I may have had in grade school.
    There are a couple of videos of ESFjs towards the bottom: ESFj profile
    They are usually energetic, quick-thinking, active, and warm but don't express their emotions very directly.

    Quote Originally Posted by Such Irony View Post
    ESE is supposedly my dual and yet alot of them grate on me. I'm still skeptical of duality in socionics. I could be mistyping myself or the other person. Also even duals have conflicts at times.
    Besides socionics, there is also matching by enneagram. Some enneagram and instinct combinations on ESFjs grate on me more than others. I knew an ESE 2 sx/so and that was unbearable, but later I met an another ESE who was 6 sp/so and she was very cool.

  3. #23
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    Quote Originally Posted by msg_v2 View Post
    No. I'm not really sure how to spot an ESFJ, to be honest. I know as an INTP (Socionics INTj) I'm supposed to complain about them all the time (but secretly they're supposed to be exactly what I need), but I'm not really sure if I've interacted with them very much, except for maybe some teachers I may have had in grade school.
    A lot of people mistake ESFJ for ENTP and ESTP. ESE's are people like robin williams and louis black.

    @Amargith

    You need to get your personality correct for duality to work. You can still experience duality if your type is wrong, but you'll have to do it without theory and just go off of your gut instead. Your gut interactions with people IRL will always be more correct than your logical understanding of the theory. The only thing I know that points you toward INFp instead of ENFp is your secretiveness, and the fact that you haven't exploded into rage with me, as most ENFP's usually do within 5 minutes of getting to know me.

    Meeting your dual over the internet doesn't work. IT HAS TO BE IN REAL LIFE. This is the only time you will experience all the phermones and invisible bullshit flowing between the two of you. I've met my dual online many many times, and as much as we get along with each other, it doesn't hold a candle to meeting them in real life. The way they behave is enough to make you get excited. What you'll find, is that both duals have to be "open" to notice one another. If they're closed off and guarded against one another, it barely works.

    Anyway, yes I definitely feel the pull of my dual. At first I was very unsure if I wanted to date her or not, thinking, "hmm, I don't think she's my type." Because of this I ignored her for about a week, then saw her again and was like, "why am I being such a pussy?" So I ran up and forced myself to talk to her. After that, she was my absolute favorite girlfriend ever. (Circumstances prevented anything further between us).

    Usually the biggest and most obvious sign is that, when you're done talking, there's a very compelling drive to speak to them again. Its this feeling of, "hey wait, come back!" But this feeling only happens if you open yourself up to that person when speaking to them. The other analogy I use, is it feels as if you're superman, and you just met another kryptonian. Suddenly this person becomes way more important than all the ordinary humans, and there is this sneaking suspicion of utter familiarity between the two. I'm certain this is akin to how people describe as meeting their "soul mate." My brother tests MBTI INTJ and is dating a very obvious ESI, and also describes her as his soul mate (which makes me think he could actually be LIE-Ni).
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  4. #24
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    I actually got off the phone with a gal I suspect is IEI, we have a shit ton in common, (at least she makes it sound that way), and I had to initiate the entire conversation. She would just respond with 2 word enthusiastic answers. Remembering my duality training as an aggressor, I reminded myself not to take this as rejection, so I just kept trying and trying. Toward the end of the phone call, her total conversations started was zero, and we had a good 10 second awkward pause as I waited for her to say something. It didn't work, so I just continued on to ask her out for tomorrow (which I'm hoping is still on, ). When I said goodbye, she giggled and said ok. I got this gut feeling she was playing games with me, and that I passed. I've spoken to several girls of this type, and they've all done this to me.

    I guess we'll see what happens tomorrow. She'll probably flake. They've also all flaked on me. So far everything is going as normal.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Chiharu View Post
    My SO and I are duals. I was instantly drawn to him, but I figured that he was less interesting than I thought and that I was reading too much into him. Apparently, he noticed me too but thought that I wouldn't like someone like him.

    Almost textbook, really.
    My dual has never rejected me when I approach. Never. But I'm also fairly good looking and have my shit together. So I can't speak for the runny nose googly eyed ESTp's out there.

    I've had 2 of them tell me I'm out of their league, which ultimately isn't their decision and I keep talking to them anyway.

  6. #26
    mod love baby... Array Lady_X's Avatar
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    so my dual would be istj or istp?
    There can’t be any large-scale revolution until there’s a personal revolution, on an individual level. It’s got to happen inside first.
    -Jim Morrison

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    Quote Originally Posted by Lady X View Post
    so my dual would be istj or istp?
    Your dual, assuming ENFp (NeFi) for you would be ISTp (SiTe), which translates to ISTJ in MBTI/JCF terms.

  8. #28
    mod love baby... Array Lady_X's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by senza tema View Post
    Your dual, assuming ENFp (NeFi) for you would be ISTp (SiTe), which translates to ISTJ in MBTI/JCF terms.
    right...okay thanks

    well i was married to one forever and i was immediately drawn to him as a friend but i honestly thought it was just a magnetic friend energy....i guess it was for awhile...until it wasn't.
    There can’t be any large-scale revolution until there’s a personal revolution, on an individual level. It’s got to happen inside first.
    -Jim Morrison

  9. #29
    filling some space Array UnitOfPopulation's Avatar
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    My socionics dual is a terrible type for me, I would have nothing to do with such an awful person. My wife is of a completely different type. I don't know what's the purpose of this socionics relationships matrix, even though I very much enjoyed it for theory for a long time.

  10. #30
    You have a choice! Array 21%'s Avatar
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    I can't figure out socionics, but so far EII fits best -- so that makes my dual LSE (ESTj), and assuming that they are something like ESTJs, they can be quite grating at times. However, they can be fairly easy to communicate with and great fun to be around once you learn how to do it, and it helps that they don't get their feelings hurt all the time like feelers tend to do, so I can err a bit on communication strategies (unintentionally) and still don't offend them.
    4w5 sp/sx EII

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