I think Se PoLR (INj) try to avoid it at all costs, until it's at unmanageable levels. Then they might respond with too much and/or sloppy use of Se. I guess the trick is learning how to manage this better. Then again, Ne is much, much better of thinking of ways around problems too. So it has no need to be direct, most of the time.
When people don't care about hurting others, it's often more a power play than simply "not caring". They can change.. you just have to play the game a little bit. Maybe that's too much to ask though.
I have trouble knowing the degree of appropriate Se use. Like you said, I'd much prefer to find ways around problems (Ne) rather than brute force (Se). Yes, it could just be a power play. I often feel powerless to change or influence people. My mindset tends to be, they are who they are, they'll change if and when they'll want to change. I am generally clueless when it comes to trying to 'play the game' with others.
LOL, I can relate. Fe ignoring is a bitch that way. I am not very aware of how I make others feel because I'm so focused on what I'm feeling and whatever awareness I have tends to go in one ear and out the other, even when other people tell me pretty much in my face what I'm doing wrong. I usually don't get it anyway. And when you tell me I'm wrong I just get pissed off unless you do it very suggestively like [MENTION=5494]Amargith[/MENTION] did earlier. It needs to feel like I came to that conclusion. If you force your POV I'll just be stubborn.
Sometimes my perception of how I think I make others feel doesn't always match the reality. I too am often in my own world of my own feelings. However, if someone tells me I hurt them unintentionally, I will feel bad about it and do whatever I need to in order for them to feel okay again. I hate having the blame placed on me for someone's bad feelings.
Yes. I can also intervene but then I tell people more straight up what I think is wrong more in lines with Te than Fe and it only happens if it irks my Fi values. I also don't tend to take sides but I find that both are equally wrong/stupid and I condemn both openly or what I perceive to be the source of the problem. I don't expect their social values to be changed; I simply expect them to conform to rules that we have that govern social etiquette. There's a subtle difference between the two mindsets. Ultimately Fe types just want people to get along but I don't. I don't care what they think or feel of each other as long they don't disrupt my experience on the forum. We got forum rules to deal with that and if you can't follow them, too bad.
The thread with The Great One arguing with DJ Arendee is a good example. I am not going to say that either one is mean to each other because I think they are equally wrong. Fe types tend to be more likely to pick sides like that in contrast, strangely enough, or in some cases, make both sides reconcile.
I'm kind of in between these two points of view. I'd prefer it if everyone just got along but I know that practically, that isn't going to happen, unless you heavily censor content, which isn't desirable either for a good intellectual discussion. There is always going to be some level of dissonance, so as long as it's not affecting me personally, I'm not too bothered by it. I always have the option to ignore the threads where there's too bickering and the like.
Also, I can be pretty unaware of certain forum drama that happens. Maybe it's just because I don't get involved much and stay detached or I'm just not drawn to the sorts of threads where it's more likely to take place or just made uneasy by too much disharmony. Anyway, a moderator says so and so is banned from the forum. To me, it seems to have come out of the blue but the problem may have been going on quite awhile and I just wasn't aware of it.
Actually, I don't mind violence as a last resort despite being Se PoLR. I think a good slap in the face can sometimes say more than thousand words but most importantly, there comes to a point where a person gets so stuck up in their current "energy level" that simply trying to argue them out of it is not going to work. Then a kind but physical reminder helps to break our focus. It works on dogs, I know it also works on humans. LOL. It doesn't mean I think someone should beat someone else up senselessly though.
I would use violence too as a last resort. If some random stranger were to show up with a gun and demand I give him some money, I just might kick him in the nuts. But it's definitely not my preferred manner of acting. I much prefer to calmly reason things out logically.
I don't think Se PoLR has to only appear as a feeling of being against violence or people who swear (well, if that's true, no wonder people think I'm an ESI and then I'm probably am one). It's more about an inability to process Se information and when delivered to you it just makes you feel very uncomfortable. As a perfect example, I'm a big fan of violent movies and games almost to the point where the bloodier the better (as long as it's stylish), but if someone tells me that a chair has only one point of use (Se + Ni), I'll immediately go, "no, think of all the other possibilities you can use a chair for!".
Also, it should be noted before someone says anything, that while I may think that stylish violence is entertaining on the big screen, it doesn't mean I think violence for the sake of power is ok. But controlled circumstances? Yes, definitely. As long someone is not hurt for real.
I like movies with alot of action but not necessarily alot of violence. I don't like violence just for it's own sake. Some movies are bloody and gory just to see how far they can go with it and I don't like that. But if it's violence for the purpose of proving a point and it seems like the best way to get the message across than that's fine.
I can really relate to your chair example. I cringe when I hear people say things like "there is only one use for x."
As far as processing Se information goes, sometimes I have trouble knowing how much force to apply. It's not necessarily anything violence related but can apply to everyday physical objects. For example, I'll be working with some tool or piece of equipment and I pound too hard or not hard enough. I've had times where I've broken objects from unintentionally applying too much pressure or in the wrong spot. I don't know if this is really socionics Se related or not but it reminded me of it. I can be really clumsy with tools and certain physical movements.
