How do SJs experience crushes?

[Usehername]

When you have a crush, does it last for a long or short unit of time?

Do you view your crush as an idealized version of her/himself, oblivious to the real person? Or is it just that you're so forgiving that you don't care about the faults that you see existing?

How much does this crush influence your decisions? (As an NT, I think it influences my feelings but not my final decision. It just makes the decision-making-process take longer b/c of all the feeling getting in the way.)

[girlnamedbless]

-When you have a crush, does it last for a long or short unit of time?
When I first have a crush, I'll have an idea in my head as to how he is. When I start to talk to him, and find out that either he was nothing like I had imagined, or that we have zero chemistry, that crush quickly fades. When I realize something won't work out, I automatically get over him. On the other hand, if nothing like that happens, I'll still like him until he gives me a reason not to.

-Do you view your crush as an idealized version of her/himself, oblivious to the real person? Or is it just that you're so forgiving that you don't care about the faults that you see existing?
I see faults, but faults are what makes a person. I wouldn't stop liking somebody because of their faults, the best part about a relationship is loving people for their faults.

-How much does this crush influence your decisions?
Not much at all. I can still have a crush and make my own decisions.

[Shimpei]

Originally Posted by girlnamedbless

When I realize something won't work out, I automatically get over him.

1. Same here! I try to rationalize or play down my emotions in case the reason doesn't support them.

2. I can't idealize people. When I try to figure out someone, I tend to notice even the slightest negative trait. Then I put up a "balance sheet" and consider if the relationship is worth taking or not.

3. Crushes rarely influence my decisions. I want to stay down-to-earth when it comes to important decisions.

[toonia]

Originally Posted by Shimpei

1. Same here! I try to rationalize or play down my emotions in case the reason doesn't support them.

2. I can't idealize people. When I try to figure out someone, I tend to notice even the slightest negative trait. Then I put up a "balance sheet" and consider if the relationship is worth taking or not.

3. Crushes rarely influence my decisions. I want to stay down-to-earth when it comes to important decisions.

toonia's admiration of Shimpei goes through the roof.

[Jennifer]

Originally Posted by toonia

toonia's admiration of Shimpei goes through the roof.

my admiration was already there. She's very sane and level-headed.

[girlnamedbless]

I just realized somethings about the crushes I have.
I can have a crush on about three different people at once, depending on where I am.
"Out of sight, out of mind." This is very true for me.
I get crushes on boys really, really easily. All it takes is a sweet smile and a good conversationalist. But they die as quickly as they come. Usually, I just lose interest or realize that the boy isn't who I thought he was.

[Sona]

When you have a crush, does it last for a long or short unit of time?

Depends, once I had a crush or I was in love for good 4 - 5 years. I wanted to marry.

Do you view your crush as an idealized version of her/himself, oblivious to the real person? Or is it just that you're so forgiving that you don't care about the faults that you see existing?

Don't care about the faults. The girl I had a crush on had a speech impediment, my cousin sisters used to say to me what the hell do I see in her.

How much does this crush influence your decisions? (As an NT, I think it influences my feelings but not my final decision. It just makes the decision-making-process take longer b/c of all the feeling getting in the way.)

Alot, I wanted to marry her.

But I've only felt once like that for a girl.

[Caffiend]

Originally Posted by Usehername

When you have a crush, does it last for a long or short unit of time?

Do you view your crush as an idealized version of her/himself, oblivious to the real person? Or is it just that you're so forgiving that you don't care about the faults that you see existing?

How much does this crush influence your decisions? (As an NT, I think it influences my feelings but not my final decision. It just makes the decision-making-process take longer b/c of all the feeling getting in the way.)

Wouldn't F vs T play a bigger role in this?

[FDG]

Originally Posted by Shimpei

1. Same here! I try to rationalize or play down my emotions in case the reason doesn't support them.

2. I can't idealize people. When I try to figure out someone, I tend to notice even the slightest negative trait. Then I put up a "balance sheet" and consider if the relationship is worth taking or not.

3. Crushes rarely influence my decisions. I want to stay down-to-earth when it comes to important decisions.

Yuck, what a way to pass over your entire life without living it.

What's the point of emphasizing the negative? People are good. Going out with them is good. Being prudent is useless because you'll see all the opportunities pass by.

[Shimpei]

Originally Posted by FDG

Yuck, what a way to pass over your entire life without living it.

What's the point of emphasizing the negative? People are good. Going out with them is good. Being prudent is useless because you'll see all the opportunities pass by.

I didn't say I wouldn't go out with them. I just stated that entering a serious relationship needs much consideration.