SJs and spontaneity

[deep rain]

SJs, do you sometimes frustrate over your being an SJ? Orderliness, feeling the need for everything to be controlled, being the guardian...

Do you often wish you could be spontaneous and feel "rootless" and free-spirited like SPs?

[sassafrassquatch]

Nope, I'm completely fine with the way I am type wise and feel no desire to be like any of the other types.

[Hirsch63]

Sure I do...but it took a number of years to realize this. I don't exactly regret all my preferences, they suit me fine when I am living alone. The thing is if you decide to share your life with others, these preferences are not endearing or cute...they can lead to mis-understandings...and if we hew to our habitual behaviours we run the very real risk of losing the living situations that we value. In many situations the SJ is handy but in other more personal aspects of life it is simply the wrong tool for the job...and that is not really SJ.

[Beat]

Originally Posted by Hirsch63

Sure I do...but it took a number of years to realize this. I don't exactly regret all my preferences, they suit me fine when I am living alone. The thing is if you decide to share your life with others, these preferences are not endearing or cute...they can lead to mis-understandings...and if we hew to our habitual behaviours we run the very real risk of losing the living situations that we value. In many situations the SJ is handy but in other more personal aspects of life it is simply the wrong tool for the job...and that is not really SJ.

Well said.

[pure_mercury]

I like that I plan things through that are important. I like to be around other types, so this can happen:

Friend: "Wanna go to Montreal this weekend?" (450 miles away)
Me: "YES! Let me get online and get tickets, and book a hotel room, and find everywhere that is good to eat!"

So it works out. The problems occur when I want everything done my way to a T, or someone else is so inept that that can't do the simplest thing, even after having promised they would do it. But I find that I am being more spontaneous the older and more responsible I get, which seems counterintuitive. I guess that working a normal schedule and taking better care of myself means that I leave myself more leeway to do something like take myself out for a $50 dinner, or to drive to the beach 80 miles away one morning with no place to stay. I am an experience junkie.

[Recoleta]

Mmmhmmm...I can relate to what you said above pure_mercury, I'm a lot like that too. I rarely freak out about having control over things...I'm really laid back and will usually go with the flow of what others want. And I do like having "planned spontaneity"...such as travelling on a whim, but planning out stuff to do. The only time I get really annoyed is when I want to do something a certain way or have a specific idea in mind (like a school project) but I am forced to work in a group or with lazy people who won't hold up their end or who want to go in too many different directions. People who promise things and then flake out really do irritate me.

[pure_mercury]

Originally Posted by Recoleta

. People who promise things and then flake out really do irritate me.

That is a very SJ trait, I think, and I definitely have it. Makes me into a good movie producer, though. When I have a major project to oversee, I like things LOCKED DOWN.

[Zergling]

Originally Posted by pure_mercury

That is a very SJ trait, I think, and I definitely have it. Makes me into a good movie producer, though. When I have a major project to oversee, I like things LOCKED DOWN.

That seems like the sort of thing that would annoy just about anyone, except for the very most laid back/unplanned people.

But I find that I am being more spontaneous the older and more responsible I get, which seems counterintuitive. I guess that working a normal schedule and taking better care of myself means that I leave myself more leeway to do something like take myself out for a $50 dinner, or to drive to the beach 80 miles away one morning with no place to stay. I am an experience junkie.

Some of this might just be experience, in that you know enough about how things work that you can still effectively plan out something spontaneous while doing it, rather than having to plan earlier to avoid getting lost.

[pure_mercury]

Originally Posted by Zergling

That seems like the sort of thing that would annoy just about anyone, except for the very most laid back/unplanned people.



Some of this might just be experience, in that you know enough about how things work that you can still effectively plan out something spontaneous while doing it, rather than having to plan earlier to avoid getting lost.

I think that I am probably around some of the more "go-with-the-flow" type people around, being that they are generally wealthy, druggy college students with lots of free time. I am a lot more likely to say "Let's figure it out now, and then go to it."