ISTJ female = often act (or perceived to act) like a male?

[niki]

is it?

I've always felt that.
because now my current girlfriend is an ISTJ (I've mbti-tested her before). and the description of "The Inspector" & other descriptions fits her well.

and I think it's due to her having hard time (even almost none) showing her emotions (as a girl) , and that she's so silent about emotional-things, yet very practical & straightforward in daily-life practical matters, that I often tease her of being more like a guy.

even I (as INFP) often get teased by her to be more like female than male!
maybe due to my very emotional, easily get touched even by simplest-little things surroundings that other 'normal' folks won't notice, me being wishy-washy, etc.

Another similar case is my staff here in my furniture-office.
I haven't tested her, but i'm pretty darn sure she's either ISTJ or ESTJ, and she's also very very straighforward, in work/job related things. and she likes cars/mechanics , that her friends (she told me this) often tease her of being more like a male, than female!
but it's NOT that she doesn't have 'feelings' or emotional-side!
heck, she's also the only person that can 'emotional-talk' with me when it comes to music, or certain particular song (outside the work-setting)!

what do u think?
can anybody (any ISTJ) relate ?

[Jennifer]

Originally Posted by niki

... my current girlfriend is an ISTJ (I've mbti-tested her before). and the description of "The Inspector" & other descriptions fits her well.

and I think it's due to her having hard time (even almost none) showing her emotions (as a girl) , and that she's so silent about emotional-things, yet very practical & straightforward in daily-life practical matters, that I often tease her of being more like a guy.

Does she deal okay with the joking? The females ISTJ types I've known in real life do have some traditionally masculine qualities... but they also have a female self-image and definitely have the particularlity that females can show (even in regards to how the family should be managed and the home maintained). I wonder how much of the joking they can tolerate on the surface but inside it impacts their self-esteem. (I really don't know the answer to that.)... especially in SJ mentality, where one more easily gravitates towards the social norm as the baseline for how someone should behave.

[Deva]

Originally Posted by niki

...I think it's due to her having hard time (even almost none) showing her emotions (as a girl) , and that she's so silent about emotional-things, yet very practical & straightforward in daily-life practical matters, that I often tease her of being more like a guy.
<edit>
even I (as INFP) often get teased by her to be more like female than male!
maybe due to my very emotional, easily get touched even by simplest-little things surroundings that other 'normal' folks won't notice, me being wishy-washy, etc.
<edit>
can anybody (any ISTJ) relate ?

Yes I can relate. I don't find myself have a whole lot in common with my female co-workers -- I don't care for a lot of emotion being shown, and I don't show a lot of my feelings myself. My exterior is usally calm cool and collected. I am also not crazy about children. I don't have much "mothering" instinct, no children of my own and I don't understand the attraction.

Usually women are more interested in "keeping in touch", sending cards to family, presents, etc. It just slips my mind sometimes and I usually just do it out of a sense of obligation. That kind of stuff really doesn't mean much to me. I see myself as much less social than most women (and a lot of men too). I am very introverted. I just don't need a lot of people around me and am extremely independent.

As far as joking goes, I am not crazy about jokesters generally. If I get to a certain level of trust with someone and the jokes are clever - so much the better. I like a good sense of humor in my friends and like to be around people who don't take life so seriously.

My best friend is an INFJ.

[Hirsch63]

Deva it is really great to have a female perspective on our "preferences". I can tell you that I agree with what you cited as applicable to myself. I've been wanting to learn more about these things, as I am new to it and your post gives me some additional insight, Thanks!

[Recoleta]

Yes, Deva...it's nice to have another female ISTJ around. I find much of what you said to be true with me as well.

For me, I've always been that girl that had more guy friends than girl friends (guys are easier to deal with and have much less drama going on). Guys have told me that I'm easy to talk to because I am always direct in my opinions about things (which is great for friendships, but not so great for romance). You always get stuck in that "Yeah, she's cool, but she's just a friend" trap.

When it comes to the emotional side, that stuff is difficult for me to express outloud. I have found the emotional side comes much easier in the company of an emotional guy because seeing them be emotionally vulnerable makes me more comfortable about being vulnerable. My ENFJ guy friend is wonderful for getting me out of my shell and dealing with emotions. However, when I am with my INTJ guy friend, the emotional side almost never comes out because neither of us want to be vulnerable and neither of us are very self-disclosing.

One last thing I have noticed is that it is hard for me to get along well with most other girls. I would bet that about 80% of my female friends are T's (likely XXTJ's), and I can not stand to be around girls that "dumb themselves down" when they are around guys...I think that that is ridiculous. So to answer your OP Niki, yes, I find that in many situations I come across with rather male tendencies.

However, I do like to be treated like a lady, and despite the fact that I am not terribly touchy-feely I do enjoy physical affection from the right people...and I can quite enjoy emotional stuff (so long as the other person takes the initiative to pull me out of my comfort zone).

[girlnamedbless]

I have a close ISTJ friend and she is definitely a tomboy. She walks around in sweats and has her hair up all the time. She knows how to change oil and tires, etc. She doesn't like to show her emotions at all and is a tough girl, but it comes out at the right moments and times. I've known her for four years, so I know when those times are: during a sappy movie or a late night conversation about life. She's really honest, sarcastic, and blunt, but a very very sweet and caring girl during the right moments. I also think being introverted plays a huge part because she is better at expressing her thoughts through writing than words. So I think the ISTJ just needs the right person to bring out their other side.

[LadyJaye]

Originally Posted by Recoleta

Yes, Deva...it's nice to have another female ISTJ around. I find much of what you said to be true with me as well.

For me, I've always been that girl that had more guy friends than girl friends (guys are easier to deal with and have much less drama going on). Guys have told me that I'm easy to talk to because I am always direct in my opinions about things (which is great for friendships, but not so great for romance). You always get stuck in that "Yeah, she's cool, but she's just a friend" trap.

When it comes to the emotional side, that stuff is difficult for me to express outloud. I have found the emotional side comes much easier in the company of an emotional guy because seeing them be emotionally vulnerable makes me more comfortable about being vulnerable. My ENFJ guy friend is wonderful for getting me out of my shell and dealing with emotions. However, when I am with my INTJ guy friend, the emotional side almost never comes out because neither of us want to be vulnerable and neither of us are very self-disclosing.

One last thing I have noticed is that it is hard for me to get along well with most other girls. I would bet that about 80% of my female friends are T's (likely XXTJ's), and I can not stand to be around girls that "dumb themselves down" when they are around guys...I think that that is ridiculous. So to answer your OP Niki, yes, I find that in many situations I come across with rather male tendencies.

However, I do like to be treated like a lady, and despite the fact that I am not terribly touchy-feely I do enjoy physical affection from the right people...and I can quite enjoy emotional stuff (so long as the other person takes the initiative to pull me out of my comfort zone).

Wow, I read this and completely related, and we're opposite types! My twin sister and I have worked in male dominated fields for years ( mechanic and welder, respectively ), and we find it easier in general to deal with men than women. Of course, women that have real sense of themselves are fantastic and all of my female friends have a concrete identity, so there's no strange competitive weirdness, or having to apologize for every little thing that could be perceived as an insensitivity. But we also very much enjoy looking ladylike and being treated like women. Perhaps people, especially other women, are intimidated by the straight forward manner of an ISTJ woman, and mistakenly perceive it as male energy, when really, it's just strength.

[INTJMom]

Originally Posted by niki

is it?

I've always felt that.
because now my current girlfriend is an ISTJ (I've mbti-tested her before). and the description of "The Inspector" & other descriptions fits her well.

and I think it's due to her having hard time (even almost none) showing her emotions (as a girl) , and that she's so silent about emotional-things, yet very practical & straightforward in daily-life practical matters, that I often tease her of being more like a guy.

even I (as INFP) often get teased by her to be more like female than male!
maybe due to my very emotional, easily get touched even by simplest-little things surroundings that other 'normal' folks won't notice, me being wishy-washy, etc.

Another similar case is my staff here in my furniture-office.
I haven't tested her, but i'm pretty darn sure she's either ISTJ or ESTJ, and she's also very very straighforward, in work/job related things. and she likes cars/mechanics , that her friends (she told me this) often tease her of being more like a male, than female!
but it's NOT that she doesn't have 'feelings' or emotional-side!
heck, she's also the only person that can 'emotional-talk' with me when it comes to music, or certain particular song (outside the work-setting)!

what do u think?
can anybody (any ISTJ) relate ?

My daughter is an ISTJ and is very much like you described, but I don't think of her as being like a guy. She wears nice clothes, fixes her hair, and paints her toenails. I was a lot more of a tomboy than she ever was. She is who she is.

Frankly, I'm thankful I didn't have to deal with feelings crises all the time when she was growing up. She's level-headed and reasonable, and I really appreciate that about her.

If that other person were an ESTJ they would be running the office. They have a way of creating chaos and convincing the owner that they should be put in charge because they know how to fix it.

ISTJ and INFP make a good combination, by the way. I am aware of many such combos.

[marmalade]

My mom is ISTJ.

She isn't unfeminine, but she isn't obsessed with being feminine. She mostly wears jeans, but she puts some effort into looking nice. She isn't emotionally effusive except she does show her annoyance very clearly. She is very blunt and this can offend some people.

She has had numerous female friends, but she used to hang out with a retired men's group for breakfast. She doesn't get along with many women, and can feel excluded by other women. She can be kind of a loner.

She is very traditionally feminine in lots of ways though. She is a mother of 3 and had a very strong maternal streak. She does most of the cooking, cleaning, and decorating. She is very interested in people in general and she likes trying to understand people(tertiary Fi?). She appreciates family and friends. She spends a fair amount of time staying in contact with people. She has a long list of people she sends Christmas cards to every year.

She isn't extremely prone to humor. But because my dad has a weird sense of humor, she has learned to detect subtle humor. She doesn't mind being picked on in a humorous manner as long as its lighthearted.

[Taberculosis]

I have like, no girl friends. A total of 4. And two of them are lesbians? So naturally people questioned my sexuality when i was with them.

I could never be a sorority girl because I would go insane.

However, I do like expensive shoes and purses and skin care products but I just consider that being a consumer-whore.

My boyfriend and I clash on the fact that he wants a family and I really do not like kids. They scare me and I am just not the nurturing type.

I am not close to anyone in my family (immediate or extended) so I'm somewhat of a Black Sheep.... I like my family, I just can't seem to get on their "level" and have small talk.

And I'm the second person in my whole family to get a college degree so maybe that explains some of the differences too....