SJ's & Dating Standards?

[wrldisquiethere]

Originally Posted by d@v3

All right, let's hear it SJ's! What are your specific standards for a potential husband/wife or boyfriend/girlfriend? These can be mental,physical,educational, etc... What about age? Working salary?

I guess this is kind of like building your perfect mate. What characteristics would you prefer? Do you think you will ever meet anyone with these exact qualities?

My standards are pretty high. Compatibility in many areas is important to me.

• Like faith and similar values
• Physically attractive (to me)
• Interesting personality
• Similar or compatible goals
• Similar ideas in things such as child rearing, managing finances, and others
• Mutual interests
• Close friendship and companionship
• Chemistry, compatability in physical affection
• Not showy/gushy/extravagant with romantic gestures, but still knows how to make me feel special

I haven't dated much because I didn't see the point in wasting time and emotion on someone I knew I wouldn't be happy with. For a long, long time I didn't think I would find anyone, but I found him! And who it was ended up being quite a surprise to me, because we were casual friends and it just kind of snuck up on me until I realized that he had everything I was looking for.

[spirilis]

Along the same topic-

Question: What are your standards regarding the dating process, and various progress points along the way? E.g. sex before marriage, moving in before marriage (wait until you're engaged or forget about it until you're married?), even simple matters like letting him/her stay over for the night, who pays for the dates, etc?

[d@v3]

Originally Posted by spirilis

Along the same topic-

Question: What are your standards regarding the dating process, and various progress points along the way? E.g. sex before marriage, moving in before marriage (wait until you're engaged or forget about it until you're married?), even simple matters like letting him/her stay over for the night, who pays for the dates, etc?

Well, I'm not for the whole sex before marriage thing. It just seems like it would complicate things, besides, it is an extra "motivation" to actually tying the knot.

I would pay for the dates, or AT LEAST half, if she wouldn't let me pay for all of it. (This helps show her that I am financially stable and able to support her.)

Staying over night? I don't have a problem with that- as long as it is just "staying over night" and nothing more. I mean, what's wrong with that? Chances are neither of us would sleep anyway, we would just lay on the couch and watch tv or something, right?

As for my *shamefully* high standards (and yes, most of these are flexible):
1) Compatibility- Same Religion, Similar Moral Values, Preferrably same political views and similar views on how to raise a family.

2) Preferrably shorter than me, doesn't matter by how much.

3) +/- ~2 to 3 yrs. my age, (preferrably -~2 to 3)

4) Must be physically attractive (to me): Which would probably mean she would be average weight or less, (not too large, not too small).

5) She must be kind (not a bitch), hard working (when/if necessary), loyal, compassionate to others, ehh... you know, all the chracteristics any guy would want out of his lady. Ah yes, she MUST like the outdoors and be somewhat of a conservationist, as I am an outdoorsman. Liking old cars is a plus too.

I think that's everything. So yeah, I'm pretty much never going to find a girl. What a dissapointment!

[wrldisquiethere]

Originally Posted by spirilis

Along the same topic-

Question: What are your standards regarding the dating process, and various progress points along the way? E.g. sex before marriage, moving in before marriage (wait until you're engaged or forget about it until you're married?), even simple matters like letting him/her stay over for the night, who pays for the dates, etc?

I am not afraid to initiate, but in my experience it works better for me when the guy initiates in the steps of emotional intimacy in a relationship. I prefer for him to ask out, him to define the relationship, him to propose with no pressure from me, etc.

I have made the choice to save sex for marriage and have held out for 26 years. I have many reasons for doing so.

Moving in and MOST instances of staying over for the night (there are some exceptions) are going to make it harder to be faithful to my values of saving sex for marriages. So in most cases, I don't believe it's the best choice.

I prefer for the guy to pay for more than I do, but to also let me treat him sometimes. I dislike being showered with gifts (although traditional gifts like flowers make me ) or taken on extravagant expensive dates. I feel bad having a lot of money spent on me so I prefer to keep things simple and don't mind dates that consist of an inexpensive sit-down dinner followed by a long walk in the park.

[raz]

OMG, it's an ESFJ!

[Matthew_Z]

Originally Posted by raz

OMG, it's an ESFJ!

So they DO exist.

[d@v3]

Originally Posted by Matthew_Z

So they DO exist.

I always thought they were a myth, like the ENFP's and their imaginary unicorns!

[saslou]

Along the same topic-

Originally Posted by spirilis

What are your standards regarding the dating process, and various progress points along the way?

I don't mind making the first move, if i get that feeling. Dating, well i don't mind trying anything once. I just take it as it comes.

Originally Posted by spirilis

sex before marriage,

Oh my gosh. Yes, being married to someone you are not sexually compatible is not a good thing, better to test the water first.

Originally Posted by spirilis

moving in before marriage (wait until you're engaged or forget about it until you're married?),

Again, most definitely, he may have awful habits in the house that may drive me insane.

Originally Posted by spirilis

even simple matters like letting him/her stay over for the night,

Yes please.

Originally Posted by spirilis

who pays for the dates, etc?

50/50 all the way. I used to pay for everything, but that's going to change as people just take the piss.

[Take Five]

My ideal girl would be:
1) attractive- a little shorter than me, preferably bunette, good hygiene

2) same religion and moral values

3) more extroverted than me, i feel better and more confident when I know a girl is interested

4) be able to lighten me up and inspire me, some one to check my cynicism

5) sweet, compassionate, caring

6) somewhat orderly, I can't stand a messy house

7) likes to cook is a plus

8) motivation

9) not arrogant

10) likes outdoors

11) not afraid to take initiative

I'd prefer marriage before sex. No moving in until marriage, but staying the night is fine. I pay for the first few dates, then after that we split the cost.

[Giggly]

Lists, Yay!

• Likes me a lot and is nice to me
• Faithful/loyal
• Manly
• Intelligent
• Respectful of people
• Quiet and a bit anti-social