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  1. #1
    Post Human Post Qlip's Avatar
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    Default Your Facebook nuisance

    Argg, my father aggravates the shit out of me on Facebook. The whole reason I originally signed on is to let the family know that I haven't died, because I'm not all that communicative, and there's too many people to notify of my lack of demise.

    But, anything I post I get a comment from my dad, a laborious ask for explanation on throwaway status updates, helpful hints and suggestions on subjects I didn't request them for, uninsightful critiques on absolutely everything. I do love my father, but he is annoying.

    Do you have anybody like that? How do you deal with it? Are you that?

  2. #2
    @.~*virinaĉo*~.@ Totenkindly's Avatar
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    If you want, you can block your dad by default from your feeds and only include him on things you think are important to him. Thus you could limit his input on things you don't see as a good expenditure of time for you. You could probably also restrict his ability to post on your Wall, but he would notice that, I suppose.

    You can also have "the talk" with your dad. I had one with mine when I was in my mid/late 20's, because he was constantly telling me what to do and providing advice I didn't want or ask for, and I finally told him face to face that while I appreciated him caring enough to want to input, a lot of the time his advice came across as actually telling me what to do and being disappointed in me for not doing what he wanted, and I said I was an adult now and needed to make my own decisions for me and my family, and that I didn't want him automatically telling me what to do all the time anymore. (Of course, he was kind of whack and never engaged me on anything after that, sigh, but most people are more able to handle the changes and just need someone to say, "okay, here's how I want to relate," and they will try to adjust.)

    I mean, it sounds like your dad wants to be involved and doesn't know how, so this is how he does it. You want to encourage that positive motivation somehow, while putting boundaries on when it is expressed so that it doesn't drive you crazy. Also, if there are things you can initiate with him that would be better than waiting for him to initiate through FB, then that would help as well.

    My mom actually never friended me. I went with that, because we both hold different political views, and so we would probably just irk each other and there's no point in that. I talk to her once a week anyway on the phone, so it's not like we need FaceBook to talk. My life is not that interesting.
    "Hey Capa -- We're only stardust." ~ "Sunshine"

    “Pleasure to me is wonder—the unexplored, the unexpected, the thing that is hidden and the changeless thing that lurks behind superficial mutability. To trace the remote in the immediate; the eternal in the ephemeral; the past in the present; the infinite in the finite; these are to me the springs of delight and beauty.” ~ H.P. Lovecraft

  3. #3
    Post Human Post Qlip's Avatar
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    Yes, he definitely is trying to be involved. There was a large period of my life where he wasn't, and maybe he's making up for it, or maybe he's just retired and has a ton of time on his hands. It is sweet. And that's why I haven't blocked him.

    I am aware of all those FB settings, but I don't want to fiddle with them. It'll encourage me to post up more and more personal things into my inner circle and then one day, I'll pick the wrong category and then I'll be EXPOSED. It'll happen.

    I'm considering just getting a kind of learning how to respond in such ways that might lighten his 'contributions'.

  4. #4
    Senior Member Mal12345's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Qlip View Post
    Yes, he definitely is trying to be involved. There was a large period of my life where he wasn't, and maybe he's making up for it, or maybe he's just retired and has a ton of time on his hands. It is sweet. And that's why I haven't blocked him.

    I am aware of all those FB settings, but I don't want to fiddle with them. It'll encourage me to post up more and more personal things into my inner circle and then one day, I'll pick the wrong category and then I'll be EXPOSED. It'll happen.

    I'm considering just getting a kind of learning how to respond in such ways that might lighten his 'contributions'.
    Can't you mentally ignore things like that?
    "Everyone has a plan till they get punched in the mouth." Mike Tyson
    “Culture?” says Paul McCartney. “This isn't culture. It's just a good laugh.”

  5. #5
    beyondaurora
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    Quote Originally Posted by Qlip View Post
    It'll encourage me to post up more and more personal things into my inner circle and then one day, I'll pick the wrong category and then I'll be EXPOSED. It'll happen.
    This is exactly why I've "quit" FB recently. I can't live in constant fear of my worlds colliding (in the Seinfeldian sense), and I'm in too deep to de-friend those certain someones.

    Good luck.


  6. #6
    Senior Member prplchknz's Avatar
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    I rarely update my facebook.and I'm friends with my parents on there but they're pretty hands off, unless I post a picture or article they like, and if I post that's all I ever post with the occasional song. But I also talk to my parents on the phone and through text regularly I talk to my mom every day to every other day, my brothee once a week, and my dad sporadically, though my dad's never been emotionally available but he's good if you have a tech question, a medical question, or a finance question. But to talk about your feelings or what's going on not so much, but my mom and brother are great for that.

  7. #7
    violaine
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    Yes, I do! I have a few very dramatic relatives who regularly air things out on FB. Holy god, it is cringeworthy.

    But they're my relatives, so I want to hang in there for them. They have really supported me and never judge me. <3. I feel kinda bad even writing this, but it is something to see when they're all going at it. I duck and cover.

  8. #8
    mod love baby... Lady_X's Avatar
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    My family is awesome. My boyfriends mom I love to death but she's like super fe on Facebook. Like long showy sentimental sappy proclamations of love and stuffs. My fi can barely take it but I'm a good scroller.
    There can’t be any large-scale revolution until there’s a personal revolution, on an individual level. It’s got to happen inside first.
    -Jim Morrison

  9. #9
    ndovjtjcaqidthi
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    The solution of the problem of facebook is seen in the vanishing of the problem.

  10. #10
    Temporal Mechanic. Lexicon's Avatar
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    All the garbage that goes with social networking sites is exactly why I refuse to ever join FB or Google+, etc.
    People who want to contact me know how. What else matters?
    03/23 06:06:58 EcK: lex
    03/23 06:06:59 EcK: lex
    03/23 06:21:34 Nancynobullets: LEXXX *sacrifices a first born*
    03/23 06:21:53 Nancynobullets: We summon yooouuu
    03/23 06:29:07 Lexicon: I was sleeping!



    04/25 04:20:35 Patches: Don't listen to lex. She wants to birth a litter of kittens. She doesnt get to decide whats creepy

    02/16 23:49:38 ygolo: Lex is afk
    02/16 23:49:45 Cimarron: she's doing drugs with Jack

    03/05 19:27:41 Time: You can't make chat morbid. Lex does it naturally.

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