@Coriolis: Thank you for explaining your posting style. Directing your comments to me and my posts in the way you have makes it seem like you're trying to uncover something in my attitude or experience that... Isn't there.
Not a huge point, but I wouldn't say "fortunate exception" with any implication that it is luck and not hard work that has my friends and I where we are. Most of us planned this part of our lives quite extensively. I personally would not have had children living where I do if I did not have the right circumstances. I would have changed something in a dramatic way. Most likely my location. The US is amongst the least progressive countries in the world WRT mandating paid parental leave, so one has to plan accordingly.
Also, I like to think more men would be involved in the rearing of their children if they had paid paternity leave. Your apparent quarrel WRT inequality of men's and women's roles in child-rearing has as much to do with the lack of mandated parental leave as anything, IMO. I think of it as a consequence of living in a country that has been an economic powerhouse with a government that doesn't mandate such things, leaving those decisions largely in the hands of employers. (I know some states like CA have parental leave signed into law). It's regrettable, but a good reason to try to find an employer with adequate leave provisions. e.g. My fiancé based his last career move seven years ago partially on the kinds of benefits his employer would offer because he knew he wanted children one day. He also left academia over similar concerns around employability. Point being he has had to make sacrifices too. The way I think about all of this at this point in time is forewarned is forearmed.