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  1. #21
    violaine
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    Quote Originally Posted by cafe View Post
    My husband and I usually both got the fuzzy part pretty badly and it generally passed around month three. My brain was also wonky during pregnancy, but I also felt shitty and exhausted for most of the time I was gestating, so that likely didn't help.

    I wasn't aware of the brain growth thing, but it makes sense that it would see some growth since you are, in effect acquiring and incorporating a lot of new skills and behaviors.

    It would be interesting to know if the addition of weird hormones or some other factor contributes to it or if it just happens when you are in a situation that requires a lot from you suddenly and with little wiggle room. Like, it might be similar for soldiers in combat . . . although that seems like it would be a lot worse plus more traumatic but I'm not coming up with a better comparison right off the top of my head. I'm sure there are better ones.

    For me most of the difficult part of parenting was over around the time the youngest got to second grade. It's probably a little earlier when one's kids are neurotypical, I'd think. Unless you are doing the helicopter parenting thing, which I'm not.

    Edit: I think your brain kind of glosses over the childbirth thing or something after it's over. I don't think there would be very many second children if it didn't.
    The sleep deprivation is a killer, lol. I actually have fond memories of it because it was such a crazy time.

    I'm so glad I found other, more accurate studies. I just felt like something about that characterization was off. I feel razor sharp if I get enough sleep and I love being as busy as I am. Not sure where I get the energy.

    Agree about the purpose of the daunting aspects of childbirth fading from the mind pretty quickly. The mind is amazing. I took Lamaze classes. We practiced breathing techniques for pain relief. Our partners caused us pain while we were breathing a certain way - then applied the same pain while we were breathing normally. I couldn't believe my mind could block that much pain. (I can't wait to have another one or two. I want a house-full like you!)

  2. #22
    Senior Member cafe's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by violaine View Post
    The sleep deprivation is a killer, lol. I actually have fond memories of it because it was such a crazy time.

    I'm so glad I found other, more accurate studies. I just felt like something about that characterization was off. I feel razor sharp if I get enough sleep and I love being as busy as I am. Not sure where I get the energy.

    Agree about the purpose of the daunting aspects of childbirth fading from the mind pretty quickly. The mind is amazing. I took Lamaze classes. We practiced breathing techniques for pain relief. Our partners caused us pain while we were breathing a certain way - then applied the same pain while we were breathing normally. I couldn't believe my mind could block that much pain. (I can't wait to have another one or two. I want a house-full like you!)
    It's nice to have a few that can help keep each other busy. I've been really lucky that mine have turned out to be pretty good friends with each other. I think I would have enjoyed the earlier years if I hadn't been so isolated and strapped for cash. I felt more like a prisoner in my own home than a free bird, but it was a short sentence for a good cause. I wish more parents could have better access to quality childcare and financial stability. I think society would benefit a great deal.

    The breathing helps a lot. I still use it when I'm in pain for non-procreating reasons. There was a huge difference for me between the first birth and the later ones, in part because I knew what to expect and wasn't afraid, but also my partner wasn't completely worn out and was able to help me keep focused.
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  3. #23
    Administrator highlander's Avatar
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    I get brain fog after I eat a heavy meal.

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  4. #24
    violaine
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    Quote Originally Posted by highlander View Post
    I get brain fog after I eat a heavy meal.
    Ooh, food allergy? I've been going on about it lately, but that's a classic sign. But maybe you're joking, in which case:

  5. #25
    violaine
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    Quote Originally Posted by cafe View Post
    It's nice to have a few that can help keep each other busy. I've been really lucky that mine have turned out to be pretty good friends with each other. I think I would have enjoyed the earlier years if I hadn't been so isolated and strapped for cash. I felt more like a prisoner in my own home than a free bird, but it was a short sentence for a good cause. I wish more parents could have better access to quality childcare and financial stability. I think society would benefit a great deal.

    The breathing helps a lot. I still use it when I'm in pain for non-procreating reasons. There was a huge difference for me between the first birth and the later ones, in part because I knew what to expect and wasn't afraid, but also my partner wasn't completely worn out and was able to help me keep focused.
    It's amazing how your expectations influence the experience. I hated my experience at the hospital, but I'll know better for next time.

    Ooh, I actually should start using the techniques for other things too. That's a great idea. I think they would be great for insomnia - the one thing I'll prob never have to deal with again.

    Aw, I think it's lovely to have a few bros and sis. My twins are just starting to play with each other and it melts me. I'm so glad they have each other. I hope they'll always be friends. I don't have any family around, so I'd be a bit lost if I didn't have help with my twins.

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    Administrator highlander's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by violaine View Post
    Ooh, food allergy? I've been going on about it lately, but that's a classic sign. But maybe you're joking, in which case:
    Yes, I was kidding but in all seriousness, I think it's the blood going to my digestive system, which draws it away from my brain. So, it might be a similar thing.

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  7. #27
    As Long As It Takes.... Redbone's Avatar
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    There has been speculation that the difficulty sleeping in the last trimester is the body's way of coping with the coming lack of sleep for the next two years. Paradise in the form of being able to sleep a whole night!

    I think the fuzziness of "Mommy brain" is associated with several things. Lack of sleep being the greatest. Another one that is underestimated is the massive amount of decision making that goes on when a helpless child enters the picture.
    Decision-making fatigue : http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Decision_fatigue
    Everyday and there's no escape from it (and the day will come will the small folk learn to detect when your cup runeth over and descend for that attack). I've got a lot of experience under my belt, so I've learned things to try to head this off but it's there and it's especially bad in the early years when it's unrelenting. It's so nice when they get older, things let up, and they can do stuff for themselves...especially for someone like myself since I tend to have a pretty hands-off form of parenting.

  8. #28
    Analytical Dreamer Coriolis's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by violaine View Post
    I don't have a husband. What is the point of your question?
    My apologies. I should have written "partner" or "the baby's father".

    My point is that babies have two parents, yet the burden of caring for them still falls disproportionately on their mothers. As long as that remains the case, childbirth and parenthood will continue to "fuck up" the sex life, social life and career of women, to borrow Salome's terminology. I have never heard a father remark that having a nanny allows him to be free as a bird.
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  9. #29
    As Long As It Takes.... Redbone's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Coriolis View Post
    My point is that babies have two parents, yet the burden of caring for them still falls disproportionately on their mothers. As long as that remains the case, childbirth and parenthood will continue to "fuck up" the sex life, social life and career of women, to borrow Salome's terminology. I have never heard a father remark that having a nanny allows him to be free as a bird.
    This is, unfortunately, very true. I have seen fathers that take an active interest in their children's lives receive lavish praise, as if they were doing something extraordinary, while many mothers are just thought of as doing what mothers do for the same tasks.

  10. #30
    violaine
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    It's not "fucking up" any of those things for me.

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