ESFJ crisis: At a large meeting this morning, which my team leader (ESFJ) ended up running, one of the guys leading a different team (I'm pretty sure he's an SP type) basically had an issue for which a meeting had to be scheduled and actually said he didn't want to do it after she said he needed to set one up when he said he needed some information....
She flew right back in his face on that one and said it wasn't her job. As soon as the words came out of his mouth, I foresaw how it would play off -- her response, his response to her response ('chill, don't worry about it, i'll take care of it').... but I'm kind of surprised to hear her in the next cube over still furious about it.
I think it's a habitual thing, she constantly feels like she's expected to mom everyone and do their job for them (in terms of scheduling and running meetings) to make sure that things get done, she's at her breaking point, and she's going on vacation next week. She certainly does step in a lot to make sure things happen, picking up everyone else's slack; but now you see how the stress can really get to someone who feels ultra-responsible.
She's over there talking to HER boss now about it. She took it very very personally. In her favor, the guy's done this before at other meetings I was... kind of being haphazard and sidestepping organizational responsibilities, for projects involving myriad teams of people and numerous members who need to be kept in the loop. His approach is just very relaxed, loose, and fluid; meanwhile, she likes to get closure and clarity.
(EDIT: Lol... now she's telling someone ELSE about it! ESFJ has to let the world know until the indignation is burned out of one's system. I do want to say, I really like my team lead, though, and deal fine with her intensity... it's just funny sometimes from my perspective to listen to things.)
..... anyone have similar examples where type differences have really banged heads?