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  1. #41
    Senior Member tinker683's Avatar
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    Here on the forums, I don't hide my more emotional side at all. I suppose that's because here on the Internet I'm anonymous and therefore largely "safe" to be myself.

    In real life, however, is a different story. By and large I allow a lot of my "Feeler"ness to show but only enough to still remain within acceptable boundaries what most men consider "normal". Everyone who really knows me knows that I'm very sensitive and very warm and that the stoic front I put on is largely just my public face. Who I am in private is much deeper than that.

    I used to be a lot more open with who I was when I was younger but I was ostracized for it and the memories of the isolation and exclusion still sting to this day. Perhaps that makes me weak for feeling the need to hide a lot of who I am...but that's where I am right now. Maybe one day I'll get strong enough to let who I am out in the open completely.

    One last thing: How I express myself depends on who I'm with. I've found the generally among most women and other feeler males I tend to come out of my shell easier than I do with T-males or extremely strong T-women.
    "The man who is swimming against the stream knows the strength of it."
    ― Woodrow Wilson

  2. #42
    4x9 cascadeco's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by tinker683 View Post
    One last thing: How I express myself depends on who I'm with. I've found the generally among most women and other feeler males I tend to come out of my shell easier than I do with T-males or extremely strong T-women.
    See, kind of oppositely, I have always found myself much more comfortable with guy-talk than girl-talk. I can handle women 1:1, but more than one and I can quickly lose interest or become overwhelmed by emotional-type-presentations. It's like... I'm comfortable with some feeler women (and men) and see commonalities, but also notice many differences in LEVEL of various traits between us. Same with thinker women and men - I'd say I'm fully comfortable with them too but notice differences in level. I don't know if this speaks more to my N-ness or is more telling of my not being terribly F, at least in comparison to most women. I'm starting to realize over time that I'm pretty weird. In addition, I think a big part is gender socialization expectations - as a quiet, non-contributing, often uninterested (or with few commanalities) person in a group of women I judge myself as lacking, whereas with guys I'm totally cool and at ease being quiet and such. But, this all started way back in elementary/jr high. I'm not very good in group settings, at all.
    "...On and on and on and on he strode, far out over the sands, singing wildly to the sea, crying to greet the advent of the life that had cried to him." - James Joyce

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  3. #43
    Senior Member Mephistopheles's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Elfboy View Post
    I guess that's my point. I've heard Feelers make up only about 30% of males, but I see a lot more who I think are F than that. for instance, one of my favorite classes in high school was comprised of mostly male ESFPs. the class was so reambunctious that when the teacher would leave people would randomly start tackling each other and doing all kinds of crazy thing (I think the teacher was ISFP because he didn't really care)
    impulsive =|= Feeler, as far as I know; Imho impulsivity is more about whether you are a P or J than about F or T. In fact, if I remember correctly, the T-people I knew were more likely to do crazy shit than the Fs, because the Fs are always thinking about annoying things like "modesty"(Fe) or "morality"(Fi).
    They say I only think in form of crunching numbers.....
    -Fall Out Boy

  4. #44
    4x9 cascadeco's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mephistopheles View Post
    impulsive =|= Feeler, as far as I know; Imho impulsivity is more about whether you are a P or J than about F or T. In fact, if I remember correctly, the T-people I knew were more likely to do crazy shit than the Fs, because the Fs are always thinking about annoying things like "modesty"(Fe) or "morality"(Fi).
    True, impulsivity has more to do with J/P.

    Too, to the whole topic of %'s of the various dichotomies found in your life/various groups, that can't be relied upon too much simply because depending on what little sub-demographic/group you're involved in, or the general group of people who constitute your life, you could easily have really high %'s of F's in one group, T's in another, high %'s of SP's in another, etc. So your relative group/surrounding might have a high proportion of something or other, but that has little to do with the general population and people outside your immediate sphere.
    "...On and on and on and on he strode, far out over the sands, singing wildly to the sea, crying to greet the advent of the life that had cried to him." - James Joyce

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  5. #45
    Senior Member Mephistopheles's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by cascadeco View Post
    True, impulsivity has more to do with J/P.

    Too, to the whole topic of %'s of the various dichotomies found in your life/various groups, that can't be relied upon too much simply because depending on what little sub-demographic/group you're involved in, or the general group of people who constitute your life, you could easily have really high %'s of F's in one group, T's in another, high %'s of SP's in another, etc. So your relative group/surrounding might have a high proportion of something or other, but that has little to do with the general population and people outside your immediate sphere.
    Yeah, that's the reason why I explicitly wrote it as an personal experience rather than a common fact. One gets easily biased by his/her own immediate environment.
    They say I only think in form of crunching numbers.....
    -Fall Out Boy

  6. #46
    Certified Sausage Smoker Elfboy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mephistopheles View Post
    impulsive =|= Feeler, as far as I know; Imho impulsivity is more about whether you are a P or J than about F or T. In fact, if I remember correctly, the T-people I knew were more likely to do crazy shit than the Fs, because the Fs are always thinking about annoying things like "modesty"(Fe) or "morality"(Fi).
    it's true, I noticed the same thing, but the way they were crazy was much more F. for instance, most of the guys in this class could not stop touching each other. whether it was tickling, tackling, arm wrestling or randomly arrested development-esque back rubs. almost everything they did had some sort of "I love you" connotation to it. needless to say, as a gay guy it was kind of a turn on :redface:

  7. #47
    Senior Member KDude's Avatar
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    I'm not a big "toucher". I might be biased or mistyped, but I don't associate it with F. I don't mean anything bad by it.. it just doesn't come to mind. There are friends actually who used to have a running joke on whether I'm going to "leave them hanging" or something, like not shaking their hands good bye or whatnot. I had to make a point of doing it for them.

  8. #48
    Certified Sausage Smoker Elfboy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by KDude View Post
    I'm not a big "toucher". I might be biased or mistyped, but I don't associate it with F. I don't mean anything bad by it.. it just doesn't come to mind. There are friends actually who used to have a running joke on whether I'm going to "leave them hanging" or something, like not shaking their hands good bye or whatnot. I had to make a point of doing it for them.
    it's more of an EF thing and an SP thing. several introverted Fs don't like to be touched a lot either, but ESFPs have personalities like puppies most of the time. ESTPs tend to be a lot less warm and fuzzy.

  9. #49
    Dreaming the life onemoretime's Avatar
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    Well-developed Thinking looks a hell of a lot like Feeling. The epiphany is that Feeling is entirely rational, and one of the many components of our existence.

  10. #50
    Analytical Dreamer Coriolis's Avatar
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    There is a new fellow in my workplace who I am sure is an F. He says he tests as ENTJ, but with nearly equal T/F score, and the way he approaches problems, and people, is full of Fe. He goes about things so differently from the rest of us, and often manages to get results when the rest of us are stymied. He agrees he might very well be F and seems very comfortable with who he is, but then he is probably ~40 and therefore more mature than many of our other coworkers.

    Quote Originally Posted by Mephistopheles View Post
    Yeah, I know quite a many male feelers who aren't hiding their emotions. One just has to remind himself that (straight) male feelers show their emotions usually differently from female feelers(and other way round, female thinkers show their lack thereof differently from male thinkers). f.e., no one would say Onizuka Eikichi would behave like a woman, although he's obviously a F (to be exact, an ESFP).
    How so? This is quite a generalization. Can you provide some examples or explain the basis for this?

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