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  1. #401
    Boring old fossil Night's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Little_Sticks View Post
    Because it's a dog-eat-dog world and if you are not very good at sharing your feelings then they get misinterpreted and used against you and become unproductive. Playing on your strengths and hiding your weaknesses while making them less weak along the way works best for me ;P.
    Doesn’t that seem like a socially insecure way to conduct yourself? The world at large is often too self-involved to be emotionally imposing.

    To be consistently guarded is to fear reprisal. To fear opportunity. Why would you wish to guard yourself against social opportunity?

  2. #402
    Freshman Member simulatedworld's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Night View Post
    To be consistently guarded is to fear reprisal. To fear opportunity. Why would you wish to guard yourself against social opportunity?
    Hah! Definitive proof that Night is not an INTJ!
    If you could be anything you want, I bet you'd be disappointed--am I right?

  3. #403
    Senior Member Lex Talionis's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Night View Post
    Doesn’t that seem like a socially insecure way to conduct yourself? The world at large is often too self-involved to be emotionally imposing.

    To be consistently guarded is to fear reprisal. To fear opportunity. Why would you wish to guard yourself against social opportunity?
    I don't think that is what he intended to imply.

    What do you mean by "social opportunity"? Are you referring to the ability to succeed in greater society, or the opportunity to socialize?

    The former is more important (in my opinion) than the latter, and is attainable for most INTJs willing to apply themselves.
    "Death is nothing, but to live defeated and inglorious is to die daily."
    —Bonaparte

  4. #404
    Senior Member Lex Talionis's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by whatever View Post
    which is always an EXCELLENT way to keep girlfriends
    Want to be my girlfriend?
    "Death is nothing, but to live defeated and inglorious is to die daily."
    —Bonaparte

  5. #405
    Boring old fossil Night's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lex Talionis View Post
    I don't think that is what he intended to imply.

    What do you mean by "social opportunity"? Are you referring to the ability to succeed in greater society, or the opportunity to socialize?

    The former is more important (in my opinion) than the latter, and is attainable for most INTJs willing to apply themselves.
    It's a non-specific statement meant to convey likelihood of successful social networking on the basis of willingness to be up-front and amiable with people. An enthusiasm for social experience. The converse of which is what Little Sticks described (and you sympathized with) as a conscious shielding of emotion to outside interference, for reasons probably subjective to the user.

    At any rate, your second conclusion affirmed my statement.

  6. #406
    not to be trusted miss fortune's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lex Talionis View Post
    Want to be my girlfriend?
    already have an IxTJ at home

    meaning I'm onto you guys

    I think the argument is just boiling down to emotional intelligence versus intrapersonal intelligence
    “Oh, we're always alright. You remember that. We happen to other people.” -Terry Pratchett

  7. #407
    Senior Member Little_Sticks's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Night View Post
    It's a non-specific statement meant to convey likelihood of successful social networking on the basis of willingness to be up-front and amiable with people. An enthusiasm for social experience. The converse of which is what Little Sticks described (and you sympathized with) as a conscious shielding of emotion to outside interference, for reasons probably subjective to the user.

    At any rate, your second conclusion affirmed my statement.
    I think you misunderstand. It's not really a shielding of emotions as much as a lack of them. It's this lack of emotion that leads to problems with people that expect certain emotional responses. And to protect the emotions I do have I focus on things that positively reinforce my emotions, which just happens to be anything that doesn't involve clear-cut social interaction. Believe me, I have tried very hard to fake my emotions and try to do them enough so that it becomes instinctive and I enjoy social interaction. But I get no enjoyment out of it and it doesn't work if I act like my stoic, cold, detached and analytical self because that makes others uncomfortable with their own emotions. I don't exactly know the reasons why this is the case. I've been told it's behavioral, or a result of bad parenting, or a genetic difference, or the result of too much time alone in one's head. I don't really care anymore. I just know it's not a natural strength and the only relationships I can enjoy with people have to involve some kind of interest as the central focus (like MBTI, psychology, or the science of how things work and building things, or anything that involves a discussion of ideas and analysis) and not just socializing for the sake of building bonds that I've never understood or felt. And I'm not a psychopath either. I am capable of caring, but not so much in the sympathetic sense; it's more of a desire to want to help and protect that one person that trusts my natural self and let's me be that. I'm a lot like Dexter from the Showtime show Dexter. Everything I do socially has some kind of inherent analysis and a lack of enjoyment of it all, except intimacy which feels very enjoyable. But I sometimes wonder if I enjoy intimacy more because I enjoy sex than I enjoy the husband/wife thing.

    And I do realize that if one can play the social game well that they are going to be offered more in life because they will get support from others from this. But I've spent most of my life testing the social waters and failing to do it right and get this social support system. I'm sure someone could just tell me a million reasons why and how I just need to change some things about me to succeed at it, but I'm not dumb; I've taken others advice and tried for far too long. I've never felt so much peace until I just accepted things for what they are. I don't have to struggle with it because I know it's not for me. This might seem narrow-minded, but I think I get to be the best judge of what makes me who I am. I hope that made sense.

  8. #408
    Dreaming the life onemoretime's Avatar
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    Why do you associate your emotions with something that needs to be protected?

  9. #409
    Boring old fossil Night's Avatar
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    Thanks for taking the time to spell that out, Little Sticks.

  10. #410
    Freshman Member simulatedworld's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by onemoretime View Post
    Why do you associate your emotions with something that needs to be protected?
    Fi?
    If you could be anything you want, I bet you'd be disappointed--am I right?

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