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View Poll Results: I have good manners

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  • 1---I am a real dick

    1 1.35%
  • 2---I couldn't care less about manners

    3 4.05%
  • 3---I use manners when I want something

    3 4.05%
  • 4---I use manners around strangers most of the time

    10 13.51%
  • 5---I use manners when I have to, but I have to force it

    6 8.11%
  • 6---I am reasonably well-mannered

    27 36.49%
  • 7---I am better mannered than most of my friends

    2 2.70%
  • 8---I use manners with my friends, but not so much with my family

    4 5.41%
  • 9---I have really good manners and use them most of the time

    14 18.92%
  • 10--I am as well mannered as the queen of england

    4 5.41%
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Thread: Are manners lacking in today's world? If so, why?

  1. #1
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    Default Are manners lacking in today's world? If so, why?

    Is it me or is each generation becoming ruder? I know I am not as etiquette-minded as my parents' generation. And I think my grandparents' generation was super nice: You couldn't knock on their door without being offered a cup of coffee or being invited in for a bit of conversation. Is it because people had more time then? What are you thoughts? Please also consider,

    1) Does type affect manners? Is it an Fe thing?
    2) Would you describe yourself as rude or lacking manners? Or both? Or well-mannered?
    3) Do you think you need to improve in the manners department?
    4) Are manners not needed as much anymore in this age of technology?

    Here are just a few articles that spurted forth on a google search:

    University graduates 'lack manners' - Telegraph

    GOOD MANNERS LACKING; DEFICIENCIES OF SOME AMERICAN YOUNG MEN.VARIOUS ... - Article Preview - The New York Times

    Manners Lacking When it Comes to Technology

    Does anyone have manners today? | Newspaper in Education - MassLive.com - masslive.com

    Many Aussie women lack manners and are &squo;foul-mouthed and loud&squo; | The Courier-Mail

  2. #2
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    Before answering your questions, I'd like to note that I believe that each generation believes that next generations are ruder, more passive, more selfish, or whatever.

    I think that this happens largely cause when you're young you have a different perception of yourself and the way you act and behave. You tend to get a different viewpoint when you get older, plus you get -you have to get- more apt socially and conform more with the various social norms, in general.

    Quote Originally Posted by aphrodite-gone-awry View Post
    1) Does type affect manners? Is it an Fe thing?
    Allegedly manners are a Fe thing. Fe users tend to be more in tune with others' reactions to them and more able to adapt their behaviour to these reactions.

    Quote Originally Posted by aphrodite-gone-awry View Post
    2) Would you describe yourself as rude or lacking manners? Or both? Or well-mannered?
    I am polite, I don't know if that's enough to characterise myself as well-mannered. I try not getting offensive, though.

    Quote Originally Posted by aphrodite-gone-awry View Post
    3) Do you think you need to improve in the manners department?
    I really don't know. Sometimes people take offence to things I say, but I'm really not sure it's my problem rather than theirs - it's usually content-related and not delivery-related. Usually.

    Quote Originally Posted by aphrodite-gone-awry View Post
    4) Are manners not needed as much anymore in this age of technology?
    I find this question kind of irrelevant. Manners is a social etiquette that sometimes makes interaction with others easier and sometimes it makes it less flexible. The age of technology is not stripped by social etiquettes and conventions.

    EDIT: For the record, I voted (6)

  3. #3
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    I'm big on the driving etiquette. It feels like a lot of people forget they are moving in a crowd when they drive, and instead just see cars. My table etiquette depends on where I am. If I go to a fine restaurant I adapt to do things properly. If I'm at home watching TV, I eat with whatever is easiest, and I would probably look strangely at anyone who pulled me up on it for not "being proper". Anywhere in between, I do a mix of the two.

    When engaging with people I won't follow the normal order of conversation, but I'm quite careful not to insult them. I probably say thank you and sorry more than most people I know. When I use anything that is public or shared I like to leave it in the best condition possible for others and not screw them round. On the other hand, if conversation wants to wander into the totally inappropriate I normally go there and will probably help it go there. If it will have a strong negative impact on someone by going there, I will be very careful though.

    1) Does type affect manners? Is it an Fe thing?
    It might correlate with interest in them. And maybe different types have different ideas of what manners are.

    2) Would you describe yourself as rude or lacking manners? Or both? Or well-mannered?
    Well mannered. Very few people IRL have pulled me up on anything but not tying my shoe laces or making my bed. People interactions are an area where I'm very aware of things.

    3) Do you think you need to improve in the manners department?
    In some areas. Maybe there's some things I'd like to learn that I might still be ignorant to.

    4) Are manners not needed as much anymore in this age of technology?
    I find internet trolls funny. I don't think they should be a standard though. If the internet is used for communication which would normally involve manners, I see no reason not to be well mannered. If it is a situation where people enjoy the opportunity to be free from manners and it works best without them, then maybe we can ignore them.


    btw, I chose 6.
    Freude, schöner Götterfunken Tochter aus Elysium, Wir betreten feuertrunken, Himmlische, dein Heiligtum! Deine Zauber binden wieder Was die Mode streng geteilt; Alle Menschen werden Brüder, Wo dein sanfter Flügel weilt.

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    12 and a half weeks Array BerberElla's Avatar
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    I am reasonably well mannered, I would have given myself more but it's down to me remembering manners in the first place.

    I always say excuse me in crowds, or apologise if I bump into someone, I do however take them back if the person is rude about it.

    I say thank you if a door is opened and hold open doors myself, I offer my seat if someone needs it more than me on public transport. Wave thank you to a car that allows me to cross a road by stopping for me.

    Usual manners.

    If you come to my house I will more often than not simply forget to offer you any refreshments. I fail as a hostess.

    I don't see myself as rude, but I am absent minded.
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  5. #5
    Fail 2.0 Array BlueScreen's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by BerberElla View Post
    I always say excuse me in crowds, or apologise if I bump into someone, I do however take them back if the person is rude about it.

    I say thank you if a door is opened and hold open doors myself, I offer my seat if someone needs it more than me on public transport. Wave thank you to a car that allows me to cross a road by stopping for me.

    Usual manners.

    If you come to my house I will more often than not simply forget to offer you any refreshments. I fail as a hostess.

    I don't see myself as rude, but I am absent minded.
    I'm pretty much the same.
    Freude, schöner Götterfunken Tochter aus Elysium, Wir betreten feuertrunken, Himmlische, dein Heiligtum! Deine Zauber binden wieder Was die Mode streng geteilt; Alle Menschen werden Brüder, Wo dein sanfter Flügel weilt.

  6. #6
    pathwise dependent Array FDG's Avatar
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    I lack manners, I hate manners, I couldn't care less about manners. Of course tho I would offer stuff to somebody that came to visit me, that's not manners tho, manners is more bullshit-like stuff you don't feel like doing. I chose 1 - proud of it.
    ENTj 7-3-8 sx/sp

  7. #7
    Courage is immortality Array Valiant's Avatar
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    On the internet? Not so much. I often challenge and speak out against something.
    As much positive as negative. It's hard to be polite to some retarded fellow trying to make some weird point...

    Anyway. In real life I am incredibly well-mannered. A good nine.
    So is my entire family. I can do jargon, but I usually do not. I don't have much of a northerner accent speaking Swedish, either.
    People from here who don't know me always assume that I am from a rich family or some such.
    That's not entirely accurate. My family wasn't always upper class/upper middle class.
    It's just in recent years that we've gone there; but we're an intellectual bunch for sure.
    However poor we were when my father didn't have a job for like five years when I was a kid, we've always had a decently big library at home. An estimate is that we have a few thousand books, and that is not including children's books and young adult literature.

    But yes, I am well-mannered in my encounters with all except people I really dislike.
    Sometimes, or most of the time, towards them too. Polite in an ill-meaning and condescending kind of way.

    Mightier than the tread of marching armies is the power of an idea whose time has come

  8. #8
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    Quote Originally Posted by BerberElla View Post
    I am reasonably well mannered, I would have given myself more but it's down to me remembering manners in the first place.

    I always say excuse me in crowds, or apologise if I bump into someone, I do however take them back if the person is rude about it.

    I say thank you if a door is opened and hold open doors myself, I offer my seat if someone needs it more than me on public transport. Wave thank you to a car that allows me to cross a road by stopping for me.

    Usual manners.

    If you come to my house I will more often than not simply forget to offer you any refreshments. I fail as a hostess.

    I don't see myself as rude, but I am absent minded.
    Yeah this is me too. The simple things I'm in the habit of always doing, but I don't tend to go...out of my way, I guess? Half the time I think it's unnecessary or would make people feel weird, I dunno.
    -end of thread-

  9. #9
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    Manners are relative, and saying that no one has any manners anymore is indicative of a dogmatic-Fe stance that refuses to adapt to changing circumstances and the cultural tide.

    That's my excuse, anyway.
    Hello

  10. #10
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    Why are most people lacking in manners?
    The question if they do is pointless. They do.
    It is because they are uneducated rabble.
    Not like the working class used to be.
    Television and media bombardment leaves its marks.
    They do not care about things like being polite and honest.
    Lots of people nowadays think that it is okay or even cool
    to be a criminal as long as you get away with it in some "cool" way.
    It's just decadence because they have never had to struggle.

    Before, the working class was indeed poor. But it read a lot of books and it had traditions and values.
    It was steadfast and unrelenting. When democracy that they had been longing for finally came around and life gradually became easier, things started to deteriorate with every generation in most families.
    This is not unheard of historically, either. It's ups and downs.
    It will bring around a new time of trouble and lots of people will doubtlessly die.

    Where before someone would rather cut their own arm off than steal, some now do.
    Before, everyone opened doors for and helped old ladies carry things or get over streets.
    Giving your seat in a bus or train to someone old and fragile is just something one should do.
    Lots of snotty little brats as well as "adults" now don't give a **** about anyone but themselves.

    They're no longer "working class" like us honest people.
    They are just trash proletariat. A term called "Lumpenproletariat" by Marx and Engels.
    God, nothing pisses me off like this. That's why I at first didn't write about it...
    Well, I decided to do so anyway.

    Mightier than the tread of marching armies is the power of an idea whose time has come

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