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View Poll Results: I have good manners

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  • 1---I am a real dick

    1 1.35%
  • 2---I couldn't care less about manners

    3 4.05%
  • 3---I use manners when I want something

    3 4.05%
  • 4---I use manners around strangers most of the time

    10 13.51%
  • 5---I use manners when I have to, but I have to force it

    6 8.11%
  • 6---I am reasonably well-mannered

    27 36.49%
  • 7---I am better mannered than most of my friends

    2 2.70%
  • 8---I use manners with my friends, but not so much with my family

    4 5.41%
  • 9---I have really good manners and use them most of the time

    14 18.92%
  • 10--I am as well mannered as the queen of england

    4 5.41%
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Results 51 to 60 of 62

Thread: Are manners lacking in today's world? If so, why?

  1. #51


    The slow degradation of society, leads to a slow degradation of manners. Also if nobody returns your courtesy it is very tempting to fall into the same step thus enhancing the problem.

  2. #52
    Meat Tornado Array DiscoBiscuit's Avatar
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    Apr 2009


    I think I am well mannered.

    I open doors and pull out chairs.

    When at a REALLY nice dinner, I know what order to use the silver ware in.

    No elbows on the table.

    When someone offers to pay for dinner, I know how many times to tell them that that's not necessary before begrudgingly caving in.

    I know how to ballroom dance.

    Etc. etc.

    That being said, I had a fairly unique childhood experience, and can understand how manners have fallen by the wayside.
    Your representative owes you, not his industry only, but his judgment; and he betrays, instead of serving you, if he sacrifices it to your opinion.
    - Edmund Burke

    8w9 sx/so

  3. #53


    I do not wish to be rude but this is etiquette not manners.Someone cannot be rude for not knowing etiquette and vise versa.

    Quote Originally Posted by DiscoBiscuit View Post

    When at a REALLY nice dinner, I know what order to use the silver ware in.

    No elbows on the table.

    I know how to ballroom dance.
    That is why level ten is redundant, the queen knows etiquette but this is simply affairs of the state. she doesn't have to either open a door, pull out a chair etc to anyone. so manners of the queen unknown.

    As with your LocalJesus in post seven i am nine unless i am having a tantrum.

  4. #54
    RETIRED Array CzeCze's Avatar
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    Sep 2007


    Quote Originally Posted by aphrodite-gone-awry View Post
    1) Does type affect manners? Is it an Fe thing?
    It seems like it could be related to Fe except I'm not sure how much Fe I have. I am generally very *conscious* though of making people comfortable and lending a hand, don't think I was taught those manners necessarily growing up, it's more I have a both a desire to do so and remain conscious to it.

    I think being 'polite' or having 'good manners' comes from a trifecta of wanting to be polite, anticipating/being conscious of what's going on around you, and knowing what is expected of you.

    2) Would you describe yourself as rude or lacking manners? Or both? Or well-mannered?
    I think in public I am as standoffish and lacking in manners as everyone else. I try to match my surroundings. As some cities are a lot friendlier and better mannered than others.

    Actually, I'm a little better than average, because I am aware of personal space and I don't yell at people. LOL. I'm really surprised when I'm shopping and people literally shove by you or stick their hand right in front of your nose to grab something without saying anything. Sometimes I'm like - are you trying to make babies with me?? Then there are people who like taking up seats with their crap. I haven't seen that happen in NYC but it happens all the time in DC.

    Then again, DC is an exceedingly rude city where no one seems to know how to use public space.

    Then again, when I was in Spain I wanted to strangle - hug very hard (wait, that sounds worse) some of those kids - and their parents. Did they stop beating children post-Franco??? One little bastard hit the emergency 'stop' button on the escalator to the Renfe platform while myself and a silver haired grandma were still riding down. His mom didn't even yell at him and she smiled at me as if she thought it was cute. Then again, I wouldn't be surprised if she were racist and thought since she doesn't speak Mandarin (no I'm not Chinese) I wouldn't "understand her" anyway. Then another bastard in the car I was in starting banging the very heavy metal folding tables until everyone in the train were staring daggers at him and his friend told him to stop.

    Then again, people's manners seem to disappear in groups and dealing with anyone they see as "outsider". A lot of behavior, particularly while I was travelling, wasn't so much lack of manners so much as ignorance and sense of entitlement or just group-think. I mean, I have met very, very generous and kind people in my travels, good. But also, a good number of bastards that I wanted to strangle make scary faces at.

    I think you very quickly see in a group or society who the truly well-mannered, civic-minded, good-hearted, or high-minded people are, because they are the individuals lending a hand or showing good manners to everyone, not just their immediate friends and family.

    I remember I was in a jewelry story in a really small town in Peru and this European looking tourist walks in without saying a word, puts his heavy camera bag next to me on the counter I'm looking at, then promptly turns around and takes a bunch of pictures of something across the street. Then he looks straight at me, again without a word, and walks out of the store with his bag. No greeting, no acknowledgement to either the saleswoman or myself. Then the saleswoman gave a little sigh and got out a spray cleaner and a paper towel and wiped down all the smudges and dirt his bag left on the counter. I wish I could say assholes like this were the exception when travelling, but they are NOT.

    Then I realized part of it is different expectations and ideas of 'manners' and obligations and expectations even to equals in one's culture. I honestly think the US still has pretty high standards, which goes back to 'down home' ideals or something. Even the fact people talk about how we're 'failing as a nation in manners' - i think in truly rude societies, people don't give a fuuuuuuug. Like, Russia.


    I am so kidding about the Russia part, but you get my drift.

    It's about relativism?

    It's about culture vs individual vs people from other cultures...or something.

    3) Do you think you need to improve in the manners department?
    Maybe for formal dining? Or other events, like a wedding.

    I think an etiquette expert could tell me more. But, I have the basics covered, I keep eye contaact, I greet people, I say thank you, I try not to overstep or overstay boundaries or invitations, I don't expect people to take care of me, etc. I do small things for people in public, like I've given people back phones or cameras they've dropped or ask people what they are looking for if they are obviously looking for something.

    4) Are manners not needed as much anymore in this age of technology?
    No, they are still needed, but the kids just don't know. Damn children....


    I'll tell Trinity!!! LOL.
    “If you want to tell people the truth, make them laugh, otherwise they'll kill you.” ― Oscar Wilde

    "I'm outtie 5000" ― Romulux


  5. #55
    Senior Member Array Chunes's Avatar
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    Sep 2009


    Quote Originally Posted by aphrodite-gone-awry View Post
    Is it me or is each generation becoming ruder?
    It's you. And a few other guys from thousands of years ago.
    (Though to be fair at least one of these is satirical, I'm sure.)

    Quote Originally Posted by Socrates
    The children now love luxury. They have bad manners, contempt for authority, they show disrespect to their elders.... They no longer rise when elders enter the room. They contradict their parents, chatter before company, gobble up dainties at the table, cross their legs, and are tyrants over their teachers.
    Quote Originally Posted by Plato
    What is happening to our young people? They disrespect their elders, they disobey their parents. They ignore the law. They riot in the streets inflamed with wild notions. Their morals are decaying. What is to become of them?
    Quote Originally Posted by Hesiod
    I see no hope for the future of our people if they are dependent on frivolous youth of today, for certainly all youth are reckless beyond words... When I was young, we were taught to be discreet and respectful of elders, but the present youth are exceedingly wise [disrespectful] and impatient of restraint
    "If you would convince a man that he does wrong, do right. But do not care to convince him. Men will believe what they see. Let them see."

  6. #56
    Senior Member Array
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    Nov 2008


    the more people near - the more aggressive they become. just biology

  7. #57
    Senior Member Array The Outsider's Avatar
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    Feb 2009
    5w4 sx


    The world changes constantly. The rituals that no longer apply to the current era will be tossed and replaced by others. It's progress.

  8. #58
    Senior Member Array KDude's Avatar
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    Jan 2010


    I don't think anyone's getting ruder. If anything the "Gen Y" kids are less rude than "Gen X" kids (me).

    I put "reasonably well mannered", but it's all relative. I was told to not come into church by a pastor once because I had green hair. Who's more well mannered there?

  9. #59
    scourge Array miss fortune's Avatar
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    Oct 2007
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    SLE Ti


    I have wonderful manners most of the time- except when I decide someone has it coming and needs to be knocked down a peg or two

    I even took etiquette in college in order to know what the 4th fork in formal dining setting was for and other such things

    I find that manners get you farther in life than lack of manners do- plus, saying please and thank you shouldn't take much effort or kill anyone. Most courteseys are nice gestures that don't really take time or effort out of your day, so I really don't get why more people don't have better manners
    Human beings make life so interesting. Do you know that in a universe so full of wonders, they have managed to invent boredom? -Terry Pratchett

  10. #60
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    Quote Originally Posted by aphrodite-gone-awry View Post
    Is it me or is each generation becoming ruder?
    Honestly for me it depends on the situation. For the most part I treat people the way I would like to be treated. In a situation where someone is being rude to me and I can tell it's due to a factor beyond their control I will not respond with hostility or rudeness no matter how egregious their behavior is towards me. Then other times when someone is being rude for factors well within their control I am pretty likely to treat them in the same way if for no other reason than my own amusement.

    I think respect is something that is earned not given. If a stranger on the street is rude to you, it's probably best to give them the benefit of the doubt. You can never know what is going on in someone else's life behind the scenes. On the other hand if you've got some person in your life that is always treating you like crap it might be useful to dish it back to them from time to time.

    I've always felt that people learn by example, but not in the sense that some people think. Occasionally it is necessary to subject someone to their own behavior problems in order to facilitate behavior modification. Typically I only do so in very drastic cases, but while I can be the nicest person you'll ever meet I also have a tendency to not take crap from people. In all fairness they typically get 10 or 12 tries before I dose them with their own medicine.

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