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View Poll Results: I have good manners

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  • 1---I am a real dick

    1 1.35%
  • 2---I couldn't care less about manners

    3 4.05%
  • 3---I use manners when I want something

    3 4.05%
  • 4---I use manners around strangers most of the time

    10 13.51%
  • 5---I use manners when I have to, but I have to force it

    6 8.11%
  • 6---I am reasonably well-mannered

    27 36.49%
  • 7---I am better mannered than most of my friends

    2 2.70%
  • 8---I use manners with my friends, but not so much with my family

    4 5.41%
  • 9---I have really good manners and use them most of the time

    14 18.92%
  • 10--I am as well mannered as the queen of england

    4 5.41%
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Results 21 to 30 of 62

  1. #21
    mrs disregard's Avatar
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    Well my mother says people used to have more manners. She says people were more family-oriented, whereas now people are more self-centered. She cites the media as being a culprit, and I agree. Why else would people care so much about stars were it not for an on-the-rise worship of looks, money, and social status.

  2. #22
    12 and a half weeks BerberElla's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by disregard View Post
    Well my mother says people used to have more manners. She says people were more family-oriented, whereas now people are more self-centered. She cites the media as being a culprit, and I agree. Why else would people care so much about stars were it not for an on-the-rise worship of looks, money, and social status.

    The appearance of it being on the rise is just that though, something people can see wider because the ability to see wider is available.

    The worship of it has always been there, flatterers to the rich, hoardes of adoring fans, it was always there, but now everyone, thanks to the media, can partake in it, join in the worship and be seen to do it.

    I don't think the people are any different, just the lifestyles.

    Just my opinion though.
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  3. #23
    mrs disregard's Avatar
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    You are right about that.

    I haven't been around for generations, so I guess I'll settle with "unpolished persons are rude." Mature people possess manners.

  4. #24
    failure to thrive AphroditeGoneAwry's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by noigmn View Post
    I'm big on the driving etiquette. It feels like a lot of people forget they are moving in a crowd when they drive, and instead just see cars. My table etiquette depends on where I am. If I go to a fine restaurant I adapt to do things properly. If I'm at home watching TV, I eat with whatever is easiest, and I would probably look strangely at anyone who pulled me up on it for not "being proper". Anywhere in between, I do a mix of the two.

    When engaging with people I won't follow the normal order of conversation, but I'm quite careful not to insult them. I probably say thank you and sorry more than most people I know. When I use anything that is public or shared I like to leave it in the best condition possible for others and not screw them round. On the other hand, if conversation wants to wander into the totally inappropriate I normally go there and will probably help it go there. If it will have a strong negative impact on someone by going there, I will be very careful though.
    Awesome use of manners!

    1) Does type affect manners? Is it an Fe thing?
    It might correlate with interest in them. And maybe different types have different ideas of what manners are.

    2) Would you describe yourself as rude or lacking manners? Or both? Or well-mannered?
    Well mannered. Very few people IRL have pulled me up on anything but not tying my shoe laces or making my bed. People interactions are an area where I'm very aware of things.

    3) Do you think you need to improve in the manners department?
    In some areas. Maybe there's some things I'd like to learn that I might still be ignorant to.

    4) Are manners not needed as much anymore in this age of technology?
    I find internet trolls funny. I don't think they should be a standard though. If the internet is used for communication which would normally involve manners, I see no reason not to be well mannered. If it is a situation where people enjoy the opportunity to be free from manners and it works best without them, then maybe we can ignore them.


    btw, I chose 6.
    I, for one, have always appreciated your consideration and insight. I think you're an 7 or 8, Noigmn. WAIT! My poll sorta sux--haha--make that a 9?

    ps. lolz on the similar avvy comments........
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  5. #25
    failure to thrive AphroditeGoneAwry's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by FDG View Post
    I lack manners, I hate manners, I couldn't care less about manners. Of course tho I would offer stuff to somebody that came to visit me, that's not manners tho, manners is more bullshit-like stuff you don't feel like doing. I chose 1 - proud of it.
    So, you don't feel a responsibility to be nice to people? If manners is just making people feel comfortable, do you not care if people feel comfortable around you, inasmuch as you can make them comfortable? ENTJs would have the stereotypical shitty Fe. Do you feel like your Fe sucks? If so, do you feel like this is an excuse to be rude? Do you want to 'work on' your Fe function at all? How did/does your family tolerate your lack of manners?
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  6. #26
    No Cigar Litvyak's Avatar
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    We do not lack manners, I couldn't care less about manners. We lack honesty. We fake interest, and we hide ignorance for our own convenience, without putting the slightest effort to learn empathy or to express our dislike. Too much manners, not enough feelings. It's really making me sick.

  7. #27
    failure to thrive AphroditeGoneAwry's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Litvyak View Post
    We do not lack manners, I couldn't care less about manners. We lack honesty. We fake interest, and we hide ignorance for our own convenience, without putting the slightest effort to learn empathy or to express our dislike. Too much manners, not enough feelings. It's really making me sick.
    okay. what about the 'honest' jerk-off who is an ass to someone in the name of honesty?

    I agree doing empathy is lacking.

    expressing dislike in a mannerly way does take finesse.

    Why is everyone squelching their feelings? Why? Are we all hurt and hiding? Or what?

    Aren't manners the best things we have to bridge these gaps between ourselves and others in a considerate and even compassionate way?
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    The more one loves God, the more it is that having nothing in the world means everything, and the less one loves God, the more it is that having everything in the world means nothing.

    Do not resist an evil person, but to him who strikes you on the one cheek, offer also the other. ~Matthew 5:39

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  8. #28
    Reptilian Snuggletron's Avatar
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    I voted 9 but maybe I should have voted differently. I am socially conscientious but it does feel forced/faux half of the time. Treating everyone mannerly does keep the harmony, but it can also hide a person's true colors. If you really valued a person's manners and then find out they are actually crude on the inside you might feel betrayed or think the person is two-faced. But that's a given since most everyone has different faces for different people.

    You can assume I am closer/friendlier to you the more crudeness you see projected outward from me. And the more mannerly and small-talk-y I am to you the more you can assume the relationship between us is superficial and weak. Manners are a tool people use to keep on good common grounds with strangers, acquaintances, and their boss.

  9. #29
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    authenticity is worth more than cultured behavior. manners themselves don't matter. truth and respect are all you need to please. [bitch about babylon]

  10. #30
    pathwise dependent FDG's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by aphrodite-gone-awry View Post
    So, you don't feel a responsibility to be nice to people?
    Nope, I don't feel responsibility, but I still am nice to people because I want to. I cannot bring myself to feel like I have to, though.

    If manners is just making people feel comfortable, do you not care if people feel comfortable around you, inasmuch as you can make them comfortable?
    Not generally, unless I explicitly like them. I mean, if I like them, of course I will try to make them feel comfortable as much as I can. This isn't what is commonly understood as manners, though, from my perspective, since manners are meant to be used indipendently from our feelings towardas the person.

    ENTJs would have the stereotypical shitty Fe. Do you feel like your Fe sucks? If so, do you feel like this is an excuse to be rude? Do you want to 'work on' your Fe function at all? How did/does your family tolerate your lack of manners?
    I think I can see what can make a person uncomfortable, so in that sense my Fe does not suck completely. I don't want to work at Fe because I don't like the effects, I don't really derive enjoyment from being nice to people I don't feel any connection with. My family seems to tolerate it quite well, I like them thus I don't have any problem being nice to 'em.
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