I used to smoke two packs a day and I just hate being a nonsmoker... but I will never consider myself a nonsmoker because I always find smokers the most interesting people at the table.I was never in school, but I graduated in three years, with honors, I just skated on through, because I knew how to manipulate the system.I'm really impatient with myself. I've always been this way. I've always wanted everything yesterday. My basic nature is dark. My essence. That doesn't mean that I'm that way all the time, but that's where I work from most often in my life. I always believe that I can do everything, and handle everything, and keep all these balls in the air, and then I don't understand why I'm hysterically crying at the end of the day and why I feel overloaded and can't sleep. It's my greatest asset and my greatest curse-that I'm so fucking self-sufficient.I'm not a sunny kind of person. My basic nature is rather serious. I've never found that to be terribly interesting. I've always wanted to be more lighthearted, and I've become more so-with a lot of effort.I always felt a little like an outsider looking in, even with my family. There are participants in life and there are observers, and I've always been an observer. I've been working to try to become less so, because I think it's terribly lonely and isolating to be an observer all the time. Being famous works against you when you're trying to change that.I try to protect my own tendency to be affected too much by other people's opinions. It's like the fact that I never discuss my character, my work, with the people in my life, with my boyfriend or my best friend. It's because I know how easily influenced I am, and I know that when I put myself in that kind of situation it will lead me astray from my own instincts. So I go overboard to protect that.I never think I'm funny, and I'm always in these comedies. See, I don't know how this happens, or why this happens, but I always end up playing the heart of the piece. Like, in a comedy, I always end up playing the anchor, the person whose job is to be believable. And not necessarily funny. Happens to me all the time.If there's a lot demanded of you, working can be very sexually fulfilling. It depends on the movie, on the part.I think I have a sadomasochistic streak, because acting is kind of brutalAlmost daily I say to myself, why are you doing this? There are movies that I have done, people that I've worked with, performances I've given that make me say, "That's why I'm doing this." There are certain scenes you do in a movie that are like catching a wave, and you leave work feeling elated - almost as though you've purged something. That's rare, but you do live for those moments.I become paralyzed when I have to make small talk. I'm really horrible at it. All I can do is hope that I won't run out of questions to ask the other person, so I can keep the conversation off myself. Which is why I'm not good at interviews. I tend to go right into the heart of things, and get really personal. Then afterward I read them and I think, Aw, shit. Why the fuck can't you just shut your mouth?(About The Witches of Eastwick) The first time I saw it, I hated it. It was so different than the way I had envisioned it. The original script was more of a dark comedy, as opposed to... there were no special effects; there wasn't all of that flying in the air. For me, what was interesting about it was how it played on a psychological level: the power play between men and women.