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  1. #1
    Senior Member mwv6r's Avatar
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    Default Real Housewives of Atlanta

    Anyone else obsessed with this show?

    NeNe = flaming ESFJ
    Kim = ESFP
    Sheree = ISTJ
    Lisa = ISTJ (?) or maybe ISFJ

    Kandi is the met well-balanced and down to earth, and I'm having a lot of trouble with her type. Healthy ExxP of some sort?

  2. #2
    Nickle Iron Silicone Charmed Justice's Avatar
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    I agree that Kim is an ESFP.
    NeNe....hmm. ESTJ?
    Sheree=IXTJ
    There is a thinking stuff from which all things are made, and which, in its original state, permeates, penetrates, and fills the interspaces of the universe.

  3. #3
    Plumage and Moult proteanmix's Avatar
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    NeNe = flaming ESTP
    Kim = ESFP
    Sheree = ESTJ
    Lisa = ISFJ
    Kandi= ESFJ
    Relationships have normal ebbs and flows. They do not automatically get better and better when the participants learn more and more about each other. Instead, the participants have to work through the tensions of the relationship (the dialectic) while they learn and group themselves and a parties in a relationships. At times the relationships is very open and sharing. Other time, one or both parties to the relationship need their space, or have other concerns, and the relationship is less open. The theory posits that these cycles occur throughout the life of the relationship as the persons try to balance their needs for privacy and open relationship.
    Interpersonal Communication Theories and Concepts
    Social Penetration Theory 1
    Social Penetration Theory 2
    Social Penetration Theory 3

  4. #4
    Senior Member mwv6r's Avatar
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    I still think NeNe is textbook ESFJ. One of my best friends is ESFJ. I love her to death and I think ESFJs have many wonderful qualities, but I'd recognize the histrionics and drama and gossipiness anywhere.

    What did y'all think of NeNe this season? Last season she was my favorite character. She's still the most interesting and fun to watch, but she's been getting on my nerves this season. Too much needing to be the center of attention 24-7 and then the way she seemed so threatened by Kandi and then overcompensated for her jealousy by being snobby and bitchy was obnoxious. Team Kandi. Hell, Team Kim even.

  5. #5
    Une Femme est une femme paperoceans's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by proteanmix View Post
    NeNe ESTP ESFJ
    Kim ESFP
    Sheree ESTJ
    Lisa ISFJ
    Kandi ESFP
    Kandi is an ESFP maybe?
    Between that cigarillo and sticking my finger down my throat to see if I could DT, I feel like puking RN.

    Read my Blog.

  6. #6
    Plumage and Moult proteanmix's Avatar
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    NeNe is almost the prototypical black female ESTP. Don't let living in the burbs fool you. She used to be a stripper and completely has that air of showmanship that is typical with ExTPs. She also has a very strong In Charge personality type. I went to high school with too many girls like that and I know it when I see it. NeNe is too willing to fight at the drop of a dime and always needs to have 10000 balls in the air the way dom extroverted perceivers usually do. The drama that surrounds her and that she stirs up is a product of that.

    What cemented NeNe as ESTP for me was when she met her father for the first time. ESxPs are incredibly perceptive towards body language and she picked up on her father's body language (she generally picks up on subtle body language very well). She said something about being nervous and anxious about meeting him until she saw his lips quivering and then this instant calm came over her. She really detached from the situation Ti-style. An ESFJ would be too wrapped up in expression of feeling in that moment to detach like that.

    Also her interactions with her husband (who I believe is ISTJ) show a counterbalance to her typical style. She completely calms down and listens to him when he starts talking.

    Kandi is a balanced ESFJ. The way she's taken in her boyfriend's children ("They need a female role model in their life")...she has that bright and sunny optimism that good Ne has tempered with the good common sense of FeSi. She worked very diligently for Kim to get the song going for her, even Kim was surprised at how Kandi organized, which I think is indicative of a Get Things Going interaction style. She completely shut NeNe down when they got into the argument (typical ExFJ/ExTP interaction---escalates and burns very fast) because ESFJs are not afraid to scuffle either. When she had her birthday party she kept going on and on about how she loves to bring her family together and those are the best moments for her. She seems like a very long-suffering and patient ESFJ.

    I think it's really stupid to assume that NeNe is the busybody, trouble-starting ESFJ, when Kandi plays out as the textbook ESFJ you see in the descriptions. If you want to see an ESFP, look at Kim. Kim is pretty easy-going and nonchalant even though she does her dirt. Even the way Kim and Kandi have clicked together is usually the way two ESFs interact when they like each other.
    Relationships have normal ebbs and flows. They do not automatically get better and better when the participants learn more and more about each other. Instead, the participants have to work through the tensions of the relationship (the dialectic) while they learn and group themselves and a parties in a relationships. At times the relationships is very open and sharing. Other time, one or both parties to the relationship need their space, or have other concerns, and the relationship is less open. The theory posits that these cycles occur throughout the life of the relationship as the persons try to balance their needs for privacy and open relationship.
    Interpersonal Communication Theories and Concepts
    Social Penetration Theory 1
    Social Penetration Theory 2
    Social Penetration Theory 3

  7. #7
    Senior Member mwv6r's Avatar
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    You make some good points about the topic. (I still disagree and can elaborate more when I have time.) I have to say though, your comment that I'm quote "really stupid" for thinking NeNe is an ESFJ was unnecessary. This thread is for lighthearted conversation, not rude comments just because someone disagrees with you. It would be rare for everyone to come to 100% agreement on a third party's personality type.

    Quote Originally Posted by proteanmix View Post
    NeNe is almost the prototypical black female ESTP. Don't let living in the burbs fool you. She used to be a stripper and completely has that air of showmanship that is typical with ExTPs. She also has a very strong In Charge personality type. I went to high school with too many girls like that and I know it when I see it. NeNe is too willing to fight at the drop of a dime and always needs to have 10000 balls in the air the way dom extroverted perceivers usually do. The drama that surrounds her and that she stirs up is a product of that.

    What cemented NeNe as ESTP for me was when she met her father for the first time. ESxPs are incredibly perceptive towards body language and she picked up on her father's body language (she generally picks up on subtle body language very well). She said something about being nervous and anxious about meeting him until she saw his lips quivering and then this instant calm came over her. She really detached from the situation Ti-style. An ESFJ would be too wrapped up in expression of feeling in that moment to detach like that.

    Also her interactions with her husband (who I believe is ISTJ) show a counterbalance to her typical style. She completely calms down and listens to him when he starts talking.

    Kandi is a balanced ESFJ. The way she's taken in her boyfriend's children ("They need a female role model in their life")...she has that bright and sunny optimism that good Ne has tempered with the good common sense of FeSi. She worked very diligently for Kim to get the song going for her, even Kim was surprised at how Kandi organized, which I think is indicative of a Get Things Going interaction style. She completely shut NeNe down when they got into the argument (typical ExFJ/ExTP interaction---escalates and burns very fast) because ESFJs are not afraid to scuffle either. When she had her birthday party she kept going on and on about how she loves to bring her family together and those are the best moments for her. She seems like a very long-suffering and patient ESFJ.

    I think it's really stupid to assume that NeNe is the busybody, trouble-starting ESFJ, when Kandi plays out as the textbook ESFJ you see in the descriptions. If you want to see an ESFP, look at Kim. Kim is pretty easy-going and nonchalant even though she does her dirt. Even the way Kim and Kandi have clicked together is usually the way two ESFs interact when they like each other.

  8. #8
    Plumage and Moult proteanmix's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by mwv6r View Post
    You make some good points about the topic. (I still disagree and can elaborate more when I have time.) I have to say though, your comment that I'm quote "really stupid" for thinking NeNe is an ESFJ was unnecessary. This thread is for lighthearted conversation, not rude comments just because someone disagrees with you. It would be rare for everyone to come to 100% agreement on a third party's personality type.
    I apologize for that, it wasn't directly aimed at you just a general sentiment about the quickness people have to type a person as ESFJ because of bitchy behavior. It happens a lot and I leaked. I'm sorry.
    Relationships have normal ebbs and flows. They do not automatically get better and better when the participants learn more and more about each other. Instead, the participants have to work through the tensions of the relationship (the dialectic) while they learn and group themselves and a parties in a relationships. At times the relationships is very open and sharing. Other time, one or both parties to the relationship need their space, or have other concerns, and the relationship is less open. The theory posits that these cycles occur throughout the life of the relationship as the persons try to balance their needs for privacy and open relationship.
    Interpersonal Communication Theories and Concepts
    Social Penetration Theory 1
    Social Penetration Theory 2
    Social Penetration Theory 3

  9. #9
    Senior Member mwv6r's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by proteanmix View Post
    I apologize for that, it wasn't directly aimed at you just a general sentiment about the quickness people have to type a person as ESFJ because of bitchy behavior. It happens a lot and I leaked. I'm sorry.

    I appreciate the clarification. And I assure you that I didn't type her ESFJ quickly, and I didn't type her ESFJ simply because of her bitchy behavior. Even though her behavior is quite bitchy!


    Here is my grand treatise on NeNe as an ESFJ. I realize we'll all probably end up having to agree to disagree, but this is my take ---->

    Unhealthy personalities (i.e., people with personality disorders) can be difficult to type because most type descriptions describe positive traits rather than negative. About a year ago I read a very interesting book called The Personality Self-Portrait by John Oldham, which delves into personality disorders in a manner that makes them very easy to correlate with personality types. Based on the descriptions, narcissistic personality disorder correlates with ESTJ, sadistic with ESTP, avoidant with INFJ, etc., etc. Well, ESFJ correlates with histrionic personality disorder, which is a pattern of excessive emotionality, attention-seeking, inappropriate seductiveness, and excessive need of approval. Individuals with the disorder are often "lively, dramatic, and enthusiastic," according to wikipedia. To me at least, all of this sounds like an apt description of NeNe, who is vivacious, dramatic, emotional, and constantly angling to be the life of the party. And I think the "inappropriate seductiveness" piece can be covered by her former work as a stripper and her enthusiasm for her stripper photo shoot this past season.


    ESTPs and ESFJs can seem very similar because they both like to be in charge. My husband is an ESTP and one of my best friends is an ESFJ and when they're around each other it's like clash of the titans, because they both enjoy being "top dog" and the center of attention in their social circles. Yet ESTPs and ESFJs are also very different. ESTPs really don't care for drama while ESFJs thrive on it. ESTPs are not likely to go into great detail on things that bother them emotionally, such as NeNe did regarding learning about her biological father. ESTPs would certainly stand up for themselves if they felt slighted, as would an ESFJ. However, the ESTP would blow up but then get over it fairly quickly. The ESFJ would harbor resentment and continue to bring up the drama again and again. (This is all a description of an unhealthy ESFJ of course; I've known healthy ESFJs that did not have these negative characteristics.)

    ***

    Other clues that NeNe is an ESFJ:

    * She got bent out of shape over her son's hair and seemed concerned about what others would think. She seemed to feel that his unkempt hair would reflect badly on herself and their family. I don't think a perceiver would have concerned themselves so much with this. That scene reminded me of how my ISFJ mother freaked out when I got my nose pierced (she begged me to take it out and asked what would her relatives say, what would people at church say, etc., etc.). That concern with appearances and how your child's appearance reflects on you seems like an xSFJ trait to me.

    * She seems insecure and dependent on others for self-affirmation, which is a characteristic of unhealthy Fe. Both ESFJs and ESTPs are very confident types who like to take life by the balls. But ESTPs are confident independent of the opinions of those around them, whereas ESFJs crave positive reinforcement from others to maintain their self-esteem. NeNe was awfully jealous and insecure to be an ESTP. She seemed very intimidated by Kandi's career success (snobbishly declaring that she didn't think Kandi was a good singer). She seemed jealous in the scene where the girls were all working out and Kandi was dancing and stealing some of NeNe's spotlight. Nene was also jealous of Kandi and Kim's friendship, just like she was jealous of Kim and Sheree's friendship last season. Such intense, schoolgirl-like jealousy over who's best friends with who strikes me as a clear symptom of an unhealthy ESFJ. I don't picture an ESTP, even an unhealthy one, getting bent out of shape because one of their close friends kindles a close friendship with a third party. They just wouldn't care because they're not insecure.

    * Drama follows NeNe everywhere. Last season it was NeNe vs. Sheree and NeNe vs. Kim. This season it was NeNe vs. Kim and NeNe vs. Kandi. One of the great paradoxes of an unhealthy ESFJ personality type is that they love people and yet they have a lot of difficulty getting along with people. Nene was out of line in pretty much all her arguments with Kandi, and yet she was so clouded by her emotionality that she couldn't see this. And then in one of the last episodes, she goes up to Kandi and actually brings their argument up again, and you can see on Kandi's face she's figuring "If NeNe is coming over here bringing all this up again, surely she is doing it to apologize and bury the hatchet." But instead NeNe was just bringing the whole drama back up again for the hell of it -- for no reason but to stir the pot!

    * NeNe talks A LOT. ESFJs are the most outgoing type, and they talk wayyy more than ESTPs.

    * ESTPs and ESFPs are more likely to be even-keeled, taking life as it comes. ESxJs are more likely to be emotional firecrackers like NeNe.

    * ESFJs can be quite cold toward people that they feel have wronged them (another characteristic of Fe under stress). She felt that her biological father abandoned her and says so in the scene right before she meets him. ESFJs are also quite perceptive of people. I know that ESTPs are as well, but I would say ESTPs specialize in perception of peoples' motives (they're the ultimate salesmen) whereas ESFJs specialize in perception of peoples' emotions, hence NeNe picking up very quickly that her father was nervous.



    I realize this post has become so long and unwieldy that few people will get through it. But there it is, that's my thesis on NeNe as an ESFJ!

  10. #10
    libtard SJW chickpea's Avatar
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    nene: ESTP
    kim: ESFP
    sheree: ISTJ
    kandi: ESFJ, sometimes seems almost ISFP. maybe a 9-fix
    phaedra: ENFJ
    cynthia: IxFP

    i'm only on season 4 so i may update this when i get to the newer characters.

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