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Thread: ESFJ

  1. #11
    Member princessleia1982's Avatar
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    I think ESFJ's are like diamonds waiting to be discovered I mean they dress kinda plain but once someone gives them a new wardrobe and even a little bit of style, just look at the transformation!

    Before
    YouTube - Clay Aiken Atlanta Audition

    After
    http://img2.timeinc.net/people/i/200...n1_300_400.jpg

    http://theshowbizinsider.com/wp-cont...rican-idol.jpg

    And this one is just plain funny:
    YouTube - Invisible by Clay Aiken

    MBTI
    : ENTP (Ne,Ti, Fe, Si)
    Enneagram: 4>9>6 ISP.
    Functions: Ne, Ti, Fe =excellent Si, Fi=good Te, Ni=limited Se=unused.
    My Temperament: Theorist >Catalyst>Stabilizer >Improviser
    Interacting Style: Get Things Going>In Charge>Chart the Course>Behind the Scenes
    Preferences: I like ESFJ's, & INFJ's.

  2. #12
    Senior Member Saslou's Avatar
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    Oh, i am curious .. Why ESFJ's if you don't mind me asking?

    I agree with the transformation bit .. I have always dressed rather conservative and reserved .. Now i have confidence (yeah, i was checking myself out in a shop window today) i have jazzed up my wardrobe. I feel great so i want to look great.
    “I made you take time to look at what I saw and when you took time to really notice my flower, you hung all your associations with flowers on my flower and you write about my flower as if I think and see what you think and see—and I don't.”
    ― Georgia O'Keeffe

  3. #13
    Member princessleia1982's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by saslou View Post
    Oh, i am curious .. Why ESFJ's if you don't mind me asking?

    I agree with the transformation bit .. I have always dressed rather conservative and reserved .. Now i have confidence (yeah, i was checking myself out in a shop window today) i have jazzed up my wardrobe. I feel great so i want to look great.

    Well saslou,
    I am an INFP with ISFP body language. If you look at the matrix for who I am compatible with, it narrows down to an ENFJ or an ESFJ because I am both types INFP and ISFP. When I read the description of the ESFJ:
    (rescuer, mothering, caretakers, protectors, liberal gift givers, enjoy being in charge, hyper vigilant, stern then unexpectedly merciful, vexed when bad situations happen to them, hard time letting go after a breakup or death of a lover) I fell head over heels in theory and realized I have dated one before. So I wrote this little blog about my ESFJ ex boyfriend in self reflection:

    "I like to be dominated and controlled by a man. I don't know what it is about it that charms me but I love it. I like to be rescued when I naively get myself into trouble. I like to be babied and spoiled and taken care of. I like gifts on special occasions. I like it when a man is stern with me and then all of sudden gentle and kind. I like to calm down the kind of man that gets emotional and vexed from the situations of life. I like helping my man pick out nice clothes and shoes at the store. I like to put him on a pedestal and compliment him when he feels insignificant and insecure. I hide my feelings but I like it when a man realizes I loved him all along and is pleasantly surprised. I like to discover new things about him and I am always amazed about something he can do or something about who he is. I love like that Bolton song "when he is bad I can't see it, he can do no wrong." I imagine his face in a crowd or his arms holding me at different times when I am lonely. I want to be a better person morally so that my man will see how much he means to me. I want to lay around with him for hours and help him forget the weight of his responsibilities. I have only had this once and I had it with Aaron. Aaron was an ESFJ."

    INFP

    best matches: ENFJ,ESFJ

    Supplement: ISTJ
    Companion: INTP
    Enigma: ISTP
    Pal: ENFP
    Anima: ESTJ
    Tribesman: ENTP
    Novelty: ESTP
    Complement: INFJ
    Suitemate: ISFJ
    Advisor: INTJ
    Neighbor: ISFP
    Contrast: ENFJ
    Cohort: ESFJ
    Pedagogue: ENTJ
    Counterpart: ESFP


    ISFP
    best matches: ESFJ,ENFJ

    Supplement: INTJ
    Companion:ISTP
    Enigma: INTP
    Pal: ESFP
    Anima: ENTJ
    Tribesman: ESTP
    Novelty: ENTP
    Complement: ISFJ
    Suitemate: INFJ
    Advisor: ISTJ
    Neighbor: INFP
    Contrast: ESFJ
    Cohort: ENFJ
    Pedagogue: ESTJ
    Counterpart: ENFP

    MBTI
    : ENTP (Ne,Ti, Fe, Si)
    Enneagram: 4>9>6 ISP.
    Functions: Ne, Ti, Fe =excellent Si, Fi=good Te, Ni=limited Se=unused.
    My Temperament: Theorist >Catalyst>Stabilizer >Improviser
    Interacting Style: Get Things Going>In Charge>Chart the Course>Behind the Scenes
    Preferences: I like ESFJ's, & INFJ's.

  4. #14
    Senior Member Saslou's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by princessleia1982 View Post
    When I read the description of the ESFJ:
    (rescuer, mothering, caretakers, protectors, liberal gift givers, enjoy being in charge, hyper vigilant, stern then unexpectedly merciful, vexed when bad situations happen to them, hard time letting go after a breakup or death of a lover) I fell head over heels in theory and realized I have dated one before.

    Rescuer, mothering, caretakers, protectors = Supporter
    Liberal gift givers = Treating someone because you love them to the heavens and back
    Enjoy being in charge = I was but didn't enjoy it, i'd prefer 50/50 in future
    Hyper vigilant = Hmmmm
    Stern then unexpectedly merciful = I have a short fuse but almost instantly i am OK again .. Laughter is the key there
    Vexed when bad situations happen to them = You mean that dark cloud that just always lingered .. Thank god i changed that mentality
    Hard time letting go after a breakup = Yes, but if i truly love you and i am not ready to let go, then i won't until i know, it's time. Still hard though


    So I wrote this little blog about my ESFJ ex boyfriend in self reflection:

    "I like to be dominated and controlled by a man. I don't know what it is about it that charms me but I love it. I like to be rescued when I naively get myself into trouble. I like to be babied and spoiled and taken care of. I like gifts on special occasions. I like it when a man is stern with me and then all of sudden gentle and kind. I like to calm down the kind of man that gets emotional and vexed from the situations of life. I like helping my man pick out nice clothes and shoes at the store. I like to put him on a pedestal and compliment him when he feels insignificant and insecure. I hide my feelings but I like it when a man realizes I loved him all along and is pleasantly surprised. I like to discover new things about him and I am always amazed about something he can do or something about who he is. I love like that Bolton song "when he is bad I can't see it, he can do no wrong." I imagine his face in a crowd or his arms holding me at different times when I am lonely. I want to be a better person morally so that my man will see how much he means to me. I want to lay around with him for hours and help him forget the weight of his responsibilities. I have only had this once and I had it with Aaron. Aaron was an ESFJ."

    Wow .. Talk about honesty there. Awwww. It is nice in the sense you can be so open. I could not write from the heart so openly as i am then left in a position of vulnerability. I commend you regarding that.

    How long were you two together for? Why did it end? (If you don't mind me asking, don't answer if you feel uncomfortable)
    “I made you take time to look at what I saw and when you took time to really notice my flower, you hung all your associations with flowers on my flower and you write about my flower as if I think and see what you think and see—and I don't.”
    ― Georgia O'Keeffe

  5. #15
    Member princessleia1982's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by saslou View Post

    Rescuer, mothering, caretakers, protectors = Supporter
    Liberal gift givers = Treating someone because you love them to the heavens and back
    Enjoy being in charge = I was but didn't enjoy it, i'd prefer 50/50 in future
    Hyper vigilant = Hmmmm
    Stern then unexpectedly merciful = I have a short fuse but almost instantly i am OK again .. Laughter is the key there
    Vexed when bad situations happen to them = You mean that dark cloud that just always lingered .. Thank god i changed that mentality
    Hard time letting go after a breakup = Yes, but if i truly love you and i am not ready to let go, then i won't until i know, it's time. Still hard though





    Wow .. Talk about honesty there. Awwww. It is nice in the sense you can be so open. I could not write from the heart so openly as i am then left in a position of vulnerability. I commend you regarding that.

    How long were you two together for? Why did it end? (If you don't mind me asking, don't answer if you feel uncomfortable)
    Oh man...that blog was nothing. I generally hide my feelings but when they come out they surprise even me... below is a copy of a blog I wrote that makes me cry every time I reread it and I wrote it! We were together for 3 years. There are pictures of us on other comments I have posted on this site if you look at my feed. We broke up because my best friend from childhood died and I wanted to be alone to grieve. When I finally came around, I had made so many mistakes and left him hanging so long that he had moved on. He waited for me for 2 years to come back to him and about 6 months after he stopped waiting I came back but he was taken. Now they are broken up but he doesn't trust me not to break his heart again. He keeps up an icy wall that I can't penetrate nowadays.

    Blog:
    I had a dream last night about Aaron. In my dream Aaron was in another country and he lived alone. He had girls that he dated but no one special. I want to think that he was in Europe or the UK. He lived in an apartment that was pretty big. So somehow he arranged for me to come visit him and stay in his spare bedroom. His voice was deeper and I was having a hard time seeing him as the same guy that I once knew when we were younger. After spending some time together, he kissed me and it was like our physical bodies disappeared and we became spirits and and all of sudden our eyes saw each other as we really were on the inside. We both looked at each other in amazement at what we had found out...that we are soulmates. Then we quickly went back to our blind bodies with strange voices. This happened over and over like we were peeking into the future by being in the spirit and it scared me to think it was so true...so final. But at the same time, deep inside I had always wanted to know so I kept coming back to kiss. I would look at him in the physical and he would not look perfect...his hair was balding, he was not in shape...etc...but in the spirit he was perfect so I couldn't make the two make sense. I guess I didn't figure into the equation that my soulmate might be physically less appealing because we are in a fallen world. Then I remembered the man that was carried through the special olympics by his friend even though he was a quadriplegic. And I realized that no matter what Satan has done to our appearance through circumstance or genetics, God will still make the desires of our heart come true. I dont remember all the details but I remember hearing another similar story about a young man competing in a marathon. He was nearing the end of the race when he tore a ligament, stumbled and fell down writhing in pain. Out of nowhere a stranger stepped forward from the crowd, picked up the young runner and carried him to the finish line. He didnt win, but he finished the race. I thought about this and how God wants the same from me. Then I scolded myself for being so vain. And I realized that God makes himself revealed through our weaknesses and deficits. I would rather have great love then gorgeous looks. And I wonder if anyone could put this vision inside of the man he has for me so that it won't matter how I look to him because I want the love I give him to be the thing that he finds the most beautiful...I want to marry a man that would love me even if I was mentally disabled and quadriplegic. I want a man that is close enough to God that loving me would be obeying God to make my dream come true for awesome love even when I don't deserve it and can't earn it like the quadriplegic that was carried. Lord please have someone see my heart and love me like that man loved his friend. And help me to do the same. And if a man won't love me despite all I have done wrong then I pray that God himself will come down and carry me so that I get the love I always dreamed of like Derek Redmond and his Dad who knew he so desired to win the race and make it to the finished line that he helped him to get there. And if I have to go out without winning the man that would love me then at least let me try with God right beside me all the way. Lord help me to win Aaron's heart back.

    YouTube - Derek Redmond and Dad
    YouTube - I can only imagine (Mercy me) - Ironman, Australia

    MBTI
    : ENTP (Ne,Ti, Fe, Si)
    Enneagram: 4>9>6 ISP.
    Functions: Ne, Ti, Fe =excellent Si, Fi=good Te, Ni=limited Se=unused.
    My Temperament: Theorist >Catalyst>Stabilizer >Improviser
    Interacting Style: Get Things Going>In Charge>Chart the Course>Behind the Scenes
    Preferences: I like ESFJ's, & INFJ's.

  6. #16
    Occasional Member Evan's Avatar
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    sounds like you take the matches thing a bit too seriously...

    there are cool and uncool people of all types.

  7. #17
    Member princessleia1982's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Evan View Post
    sounds like you take the matches thing a bit too seriously...

    there are cool and uncool people of all types.
    I think you misunderstand the thread. I dated an ESFJ but I didn't know he was one until recently and I am noticing trends in their behavior and this thread was simply created to study ESFJ's and their personalities. I study each type as they intrigue me...I just happen to be fascinated with ESFJ's at the moment. In the past I have studied ENFP's, and INFJ's. You can create an INTP post of your own if you like, but I would mainly like to hear only from ESFJ's or people willing to contribute to the topic about ESFJ's whom they may know. Thanks.

    MBTI
    : ENTP (Ne,Ti, Fe, Si)
    Enneagram: 4>9>6 ISP.
    Functions: Ne, Ti, Fe =excellent Si, Fi=good Te, Ni=limited Se=unused.
    My Temperament: Theorist >Catalyst>Stabilizer >Improviser
    Interacting Style: Get Things Going>In Charge>Chart the Course>Behind the Scenes
    Preferences: I like ESFJ's, & INFJ's.

  8. #18
    Member princessleia1982's Avatar
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    There is nothing wrong with admiring or having a favorite of the types.

    MBTI
    : ENTP (Ne,Ti, Fe, Si)
    Enneagram: 4>9>6 ISP.
    Functions: Ne, Ti, Fe =excellent Si, Fi=good Te, Ni=limited Se=unused.
    My Temperament: Theorist >Catalyst>Stabilizer >Improviser
    Interacting Style: Get Things Going>In Charge>Chart the Course>Behind the Scenes
    Preferences: I like ESFJ's, & INFJ's.

  9. #19
    Senior Member Saslou's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by princessleia1982 View Post
    Oh man...that blog was nothing. I generally hide my feelings but when they come out they surprise even me... below is a copy of a blog I wrote that makes me cry every time I reread it and I wrote it! We were together for 3 years. There are pictures of us on other comments I have posted on this site if you look at my feed. We broke up because my best friend from childhood died and I wanted to be alone to grieve. When I finally came around, I had made so many mistakes and left him hanging so long that he had moved on. He waited for me for 2 years to come back to him and about 6 months after he stopped waiting I came back but he was taken. Now they are broken up but he doesn't trust me not to break his heart again. He keeps up an icy wall that I can't penetrate nowadays.

    [I][INDENT]Blog:
    I've seen the pictures you have posted of the pair of you. He is cute.
    Wow .. He waited 2 years, bless, he really must of loved you.
    Unfortunately when the trust is lost, you'll never get back what was, well with me anyway, lol
    That is sad though.
    It is possibly time to leave the past where it belongs and move forward darling.
    Regardless of type i am sure there is a lovely man waiting for you out there somewhere
    “I made you take time to look at what I saw and when you took time to really notice my flower, you hung all your associations with flowers on my flower and you write about my flower as if I think and see what you think and see—and I don't.”
    ― Georgia O'Keeffe

  10. #20
    Senior Member wrldisquiethere's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by princessleia1982 View Post
    I think ESFJ's are like diamonds waiting to be discovered I mean they dress kinda plain but once someone gives them a new wardrobe and even a little bit of style, just look at the transformation!
    Quote Originally Posted by saslou View Post
    I agree with the transformation bit .. I have always dressed rather conservative and reserved .. Now i have confidence (yeah, i was checking myself out in a shop window today) i have jazzed up my wardrobe. I feel great so i want to look great.
    I would have to agree with this. I tend to dress pretty practically. However, when the occasion warrants and I am willing to spend the money and effort for the sake of dressing appropriately or bringing success in some way, I can, to quote a friend, "...look like a rock star!" I love dressing trendy or stylish and looking well-put together, but my practicality often gets the better of me. If I can justify putting the time/money towards it rather than other things, I have the ability to dress and look fantastic. I just have to perceive it as a need to justify the impracticality of it. I don't know if that makes sense or not. When I do know that I'm dressed well and look very put-together, my confidence level goes through the roof. I walk around feeling like a real sexy beast.


    Rescuer, mothering, caretakers, protectors - Yes, all true. I have the ability to think and plan ahead to anticipate what people need or will benefit them. I love when I see a possible need an am able to meet it before my loved one even realizes that it's needed. I tend to be very alert to possible needs as well as possible scenarios and then enjoy planning appropriately for those things. I love helping people and taking care of them. I also love protecting them from possible hurt.

    Liberal gift givers - When I am able to, I love giving nice gifts. I usually give these on occasions that call for it, however. I am not necessarily one to often get "just because" gifts. Holidays and special occasions are very important to me, though, so buying a nice gift is just part of the ever-so-important celebration.

    Enjoy being in charge - I do enjoy it, and the reason why is because I like to be responsible for many different things and then carry them through to completion. I enjoy organizing people and tasks to finish a job within the required time. However, I am fine with doing this in the background and letting someone else take the stage. I do need to know that the people directly over me appreciate my work, but I am fine with things going unnoticed by most people while I work in the background.

    Hyper vigilant - Yes, I do tend to keep a watch out for dangerous or potentially hurtful situations. I am often prepared for different possible scenarios.

    Stern then unexpectedly merciful - Oh, so true. I laughed out loud when I read this description of ESJF because it is so true of me: "Strong, contradictory forces consume the ESFJ. Their sense of right and wrong wrestles with an overwhelming rescuing, 'mothering' drive. This sometimes results in swift, immediate action taken upon a transgressor, followed by stern reprimand; ultimately, however, the prodigal is wrested from the gallows of their folly, just as the noose tightens and all hope is lost, by the very executioner!" Wow, so true of me.

    Vexed when bad situations happen to them - Yes, very, very true.

    Hard time letting go after a breakup or death of a lover - I agree with what Sas said on this one. "Yes, but if i truly love you and i am not ready to let go, then i won't until i know, it's time." It takes me awhile to let go and move on. Basically I have to come to the point where I truly believe that I've done everything possible to rectify the situation or bring healing to the relationship first.

    Quote Originally Posted by TheChosenOne View Post
    Go to this thread: http://www.typologycentral.com/forum...mous-sj-s.html

    According to it:

    Danny Glover
    Dixie Carter
    John Connally
    Mary Moore
    Nancy Kerrigan
    Sally Field
    Steve Spurrier
    Terry Bradshaw
    William McKinley
    Elvis Stojko
    I can definitely see myself as Mary Tyler Moore. I will have to look up who some of these people are...I only know about 5-6 of them.
    Si, Fe equal Fi & Ti

    "I had a bag of Fritos, they were Texas grilled Fritos. These Fritos had grill marks on them. They remind me of summer, when we used to fire up the barbeque and throw down some Fritos. I can still see my dad with the apron on. Better flip that Frito, dad, you know how I like it." -Mitch Hedberg

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