- Kat: Romantic? Hemingway? He was an abusive, alcoholic misogynist who squandered half of his life hanging around Picasso trying to nail his leftovers.
- Guidance counselor: So, I hear you were terrorizing Mr. Morgan's class... again.
Kat: Expressing my opinion is not a terrorist action.
Guidance counselor: The way you expressed your opinion to Bobby Ridgeway? By the way, his testicle retrieval operation went quite well, in case you're interested.
Kat: I still maintain that he kicked himself in the balls.
- Kat's sister: People expect me to be there!
Kat's dad: Kat's not going, you're not going!
Kat's sister: Why can't you be normal?
Kat: Define normal.
Kat's sister: Bogey Lowenstein's party is normal.
Kat's dad: What's a Bogey Lowenstein?
Kat: Bogey's party is just a lame excuse for all the idiots at our school to drink beer and rub up against each other in hopes of distracting themselves from the pathetic emptiness of their meaningless...
Kat's sister and the sister's best friend (chiming in): ...meaningless, consumer-driven lives.
- Kat: You don't always have to be who they want you to be, you know?
Kat's sister: I happen to like being adored, thank you!
- [talking about the prom]
Kat: Can you even imagine? Who the hell would go to that antiquated mating-ritual?
Kat's friend: I would, but I don't have a date.
Kat: Do you really wanna get all dressed up, so some Drakkar Noir-wearing dexter with a boner can feel you up while you're forced to listen to a band that, by definition, blows?
- Male lead: Hey there girly... how you doin'?
Kat: Sweating like a pig actually and yourself?
Male lead: Now there's a way to get a guy's attention huh?
Kat: My mission in life but obviously I struck your fancy so you see it worked... the world makes sense again.