No, no, you're doing it all wrong. There has to be some elitist package for your ad hominem trollbait to prove your intellectual superiority.
Or at least be a little more agressive. Like, try this: "Holy shit, you're a Twilight fan, and your feet stink". I'm sure you'll eventually manage to provoke an emotional response.
Please do your best, I'll be watching your growth process with great interest.